lifting up my tired eyes

{Part Three}

Awsten

"Awsten we have an interview in 30 minutes!"
"Yep, I'm coming!"
I jump up and throw one of my sweaters on.
"Seriously man? Why are you wearing that? It's boiling." Otto says as I walk out to the common area.
I just shrug.
"Not really." He gives me a weird look but doesn't question it.

Otto and I join Geoff and Lucas in the car and Lucas drives us to where the interview was taking place. Geoff kept glancing at me at various point but I just ignored him and looked out the window.

When we walk through the doors, we are greeted by a very cheerful man.
"Hey! Waterparks right?"
"That is correct, nice to meet you. I'm Geoff." Geoff says and holds out his hand. The man shakes it.
"Matt."
"This is Otto and Awsten." He says and we all shake Matt's hand.

"Thanks for joining us." Matt says once we we all sat down.
"No problem." I say.

The interview goes on for about 20 minutes and when it was over, I was exhausted. The interview took all of my energy. I had to use all my energy to show the fans that I was all good and still my usual cheerful self. When we get back to the bus, I go straight to my bunk and fall asleep.

I wake up a few hours later and go out to the common area where Jawn, Otto and Geoff all were. I give them a small smile to say hello and walk into the kitchen area. I make a cup of coffee and feel someone tap my shoulder. I turn around to face Geoff.

"Hey, what's up?"
"Hey man can we talk?"
"Yeah sure what's up?"

We walk outside and take a seat on a nearby bench.
"Awsten I'm worried about you, are you ok? I, well we, have noticed a drastic change in your mood. Want to talk about it?"
"Oh no I m all good thanks Geoff."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah what makes you think I'm not?"
"You keep excluding yourself out of things and sleeping, are you getting sick or something? We aren't going to push you to do shows if you're unwell."
"No I'm all good, I promise."
"Ok well if you ever need to talk, you know where I am."
"Thanks Geoff." I smile and he gives me a warm hug. "Stop being a dad." I giggle.

We go back to the bus to find Lucas had come back. I sit with my friends so that they don't get worried. We all sit and watch a movie until it was soundcheck.

"Awsten!" We all hear people call out as we left soundcheck. I turn my head to find two girls waving at me.
"Hey!" I smile.
"Can we have a photo with all of you guys?"
"Of course you can. Geoff! Otto! Come here!"
"What's up?" Otto say turning around, walking back to me.
"These lovely girls want a photo with us."
"Yeah sure nice to meet you, what are you names?" Geoff smiles.
"Kala and Christina."
"What lovely names." I smile.

We take the photo and say goodbye to the girls. I go towards my bunk and Jawn calls out.
"Awsten are you really going to sleep again?"
"Oh fuck off, I'm getting my phone." I growl.
"Oh ok sorry."

I grab my phone and Lucas lets us know that catering had arrive so the four of us walk back to the venue's backstage and start eating the glamorous lunch provided.

When it was show time, I drag myself out there with a plastered on smile.
"What is up?" I shout into the mic after we had played our first song which causing the entire audience to erupt into cheer. I giggle. Otto starts playing again and we play our next song. We keep playing and I watch Jawn taking photos of all of us and then I look over at my band members and then, finally, the crowd. Why was I so sad all the time? I had a great life with supportive friends and family, a loving fan base for the most part but yet, I was so depressed. It didn't make sense in my mind which made me mad. I guess I started singing a little more aggressively because when the song was over I head Lucas in my in ears.
"Awsten can you come here for a second?"
"Hold up I'll be back people." I say to the crowd, causing concern to waver in the air.

"What's up?" I ask him.
"You good? You sounded mad."
"Lucas seriously I'm fine, I guess I just got a little too into the song."
"Awsten you were playing Peach. Not really an angry song."
"Oh well it is now." I laugh. "I'm going to go back out there."
"Alright."

"Sorry Lucas can be a dickhead sometimes." I say into the mic and smile. The audience laughs and I just giggle.
"Anyway, where were we? Oh yes."

When the show was over, I have a quick shower and my skin craves the feeling. I try to shake it off but soon give in. The door handle rattles and I jump 10 feet in the air. Thankfully, I had remembered to lock the door.
"Oh sorry." Lucas says.
"All good, one moment." I say and quickly clean it all up. I leave the bathroom and grab a granola bar, eat it before going back to my bunk.