The Psycho in my house

The Funeral

I wake up and for one blissful moment there was nothing wrong with the world. That one moment where you can't remember anything. And then it all starts coming back to you. I close my eyes again, it's too much. I don't want to be here anymore.

I wish that I could take my brothers place. I wish that I'm the one that's dead, because Liam had so much to live for and now I have nothing.
I open my eyes again and sit up, I take a minute to look around my room, it's bare. There were too many memories of Liam in here and I couldn't take the pain that was in my heart so I ripped everything down. Afterwards I cried for three hours straight. It doesn't look like my room anymore, it just looks like a room.

I get up and look in the mirror, I'm pale today. Really pale, and thin. I haven't wanted to do anything since Liam died. Everything was too much. There were too many memories. I walk over to the bathroom and wash my face, the least I can do is make myself presentable. Liam deserves that.

After I'm ready I go downstairs to have breakfast. My mums at the table. I think about turning around and waiting in my room until she's done, I don't want to face her today. But she's already seen me and is calling me over. I hate her I really do. Some people may say it's hard to hate your mum but I do. She's a bitch, it's like everything has to do with her or she'll have a tantrum.

"Luna" she says "your father is going to be there today" no shit mum it's his sons funeral I think. "You need to ignore him" "What?" I say "He's my Dad" "I know sweetie but he doesn't deserve it after all he did" "What did he do mum?" I ask knowing full well that she's going to say he broke up the family. "he left us" she says as if it's that simple. I love my dad. And I can't stand her talking him down and lying. "AFTER YOU CHEATED ON HIM" I yell. She always blames it on my dad when it wasn't his fault at all. Of course he would leave his wife cheated on him multiple times and is just generally a manipulative bitch. "DON'T SHOUT AT ME YOUNG LADY" my mother yells right back. So I storm off to my room.

I hate her. I hate her. I hate her. I think but I know I have to be strong today. For my brother. For my dad.

She shouts up the stairs to tell me we are leaving so I grab my bag and head downstairs. I do not want to be in the same car as her but it's not like I have a choice. So I suck it up and climb in.

As we drive to the funeral she doesn't even bother to try and talk to me. She knows I'm annoyed and doesn't want to seem like a bad mother to all her stupid friends. Because if I get out of the car yelling at her she'll get a bad reputation and we can't have that can we?

So she stays silent and drives there.

We get to the funeral and walk inside. We sit down at the front and wait for it to start. People that I've never met before in my life are coming up to us and saying their sorry for our loss. I just want it to start so we can get out of here. I don't like the sad atmosphere that this place has. It's making my own grief worse.

The funeral finally starts and I sort of zone out. I can't concentrate. It's too much. I'm crying the whole way through. I can't help it. I loved him so much and I wish he'd never died. By the end of the funeral I was feeling numb with pain.

We walk out and do the burial. I can't stop crying and so I ask to go home. My mother says no. So I go and look for my dad to get me away from the living nightmare I've been in for the past few days.

I look for him everywhere but I can't find him. At this point I'm getting frustrated as to why I can't find him and then it hits me...
He's not here.

He didn't even bother to come to his sons funeral.
And to think I liked him more than I like my mother. Now I just hate both my parents. What did I do to deserve such shitty parents. I guess my mother got what she wanted.

I start to walk home because I can't stand to talk to her.

I'm about half way home and I realise that my feet are killing me but I just keep walking because there is not much I can do.

I finally get home, lie down on my bed and start crying. This has been such a bad day. I don't know what to do with myself at this point I feel useless. That just makes me cry harder. But then I think that that's not what Liam would want. He'd want me to be strong. So I sit up and stop crying.

I hear the door close downstairs. That means my mums home. I ignore her because I'm not in the mood so I lie back in my bed, close my eyes and fall asleep.

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A/N

Hey Guys,

This story is sort of based of a POV I saw on Tiktok by @vlazzz and that's who is on the cover.

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Hope you all have a great day!

D xx