Short Story Collection

Space Girl

Trigger warning: schizophrenia, mentions of injury, mild language, etc etc

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to worry, I swear, I was going to tell you, I just- please don't be mad!"

"Don't be mad? Don't be mad?! Of COURSE I'm mad, we're supposed to be partners, Amara, we're supposed to work together! How am I supposed to be a good girlfriend when I have no idea what state my girlfriend is in?!"

"I- I know, I just-"

"Just what? Just thought you'd let me go out to parties thinking 'oh yeah, Amara will be fine, she's not likely to have an episode while I'm gone because she swear she's getting better!' Yeah, fat lotta good that did when I come home to find you sobbing in the middle of our room, with nearly everything knocked off the nightstand and all the mirrors in the room shattered! And now look where we are! Where are we, Mars? Tell me."

"...the hospital. But-"

"No buts! And it's a shame, because your butt is cute. We could have prevented this! I could have prevented this! This is serious, Amara, now tell me what happened and why you've been trying to deal with it on your own and lying to me."

A black haired girl in a hospital gown took a deep breath. She puffed out her cheeks, looking down at the sheets her hands were toying with. A second girl with red hair cut into a bob was standing at her side, arms crossed and staring down at the first girl like a mother would a child who'd been caught with their hand in a cookie jar.

And if we're sticking to this analogy, the child had also immediately hidden their hands behind their back and claimed they had no idea what their mother was talking about- what cookie jar? They didn't see any cookie jar laying around here. In fact, what are cookies? Jars? Never heard of her.

"I didn't want to worry you. I thought I could get it under control before it became a big problem. I tried using all my normal tactics. Meditation, closing my eyes and going to my safe space, pressing down on a bruise or something, but none of it worked. He's still there. I'm really, really sorry I didn't tell you. But I didn't want you to worry. It gives you wrinkle lines," Amara tacked the last part on as almost an afterthought, hoping it might make her girlfriend's stone cold scolding face crack a small grin.

No such luck.

"This is serious, Mars. You might be looking at more time at the clinic. And I know you hate it there. I don't want to lose you." The red head but her lip, before taking one of Amara's hands in her own and turning it palm up. She began tracing circles with her thumb. "Can you see him now?"

Amara let a relieved smile grace her facial features. So they weren't on a no-touching term. That was good. She liked when Harley rubbed circles around her palm. It helped ground her. And she needed grounding right now.

"No," The dark-haired girl replied, "I can never see him when you're with me."

Harley smiled. There it was. The beautiful thing Amara loved so much.

"You sap." The red head chuckled.

Amara grinned. Yes! She loved the sound of Harley's laugh.

"Stop it. Right now, stop being cute. I can't stay mad at you when you're smiling all goofy like that," Harley scrunched up her freckle-covered nose.

"Can't. Physically impossible," Amara replied cheekily.

"Fine. I'll just have to kiss it off, then," Harley leaned forward and planted a light kiss on Amara's lips, before pulling back and placing similar kisses all over the rest of Amara's face, leaving Amara giggling and swatting at Harley.

"Ahem." A voice cleared his throat from the doorway of the hospital room.

Harley reared back, taking back her seat at the foot of the bed. Her focus was now on the doctor in the doorway. "What's the verdict, doc?"

The doctor quirked a brow, amused by the red head's choice of words. "Mm. My name is Doctor Dyer. Miss Anluan will have to stay for about a day or two so we can make sure she's clear for check out, then we'll need to schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist for evaluation of Miss Anluan's... condition."

The two nodded, watching as the doctor set some papers by the nightstand. "For one or the both of you to fill out before Miss Anluan can leave," He clarifies.

As soon as the doctor was out of the room, Harley turned to Amara and grabbed her hand. "That's not so bad, right? I'll stay here with you for the next day or two and I'll be by your side when we get home. I'll take the next two days off work- goodness knows I've more than earned it- and you won't have to be without me. I'll schedule that appointment with the psychiatrist, maybe they'll get some different medication that could work better, you'll be fine! We'll be fine."

Amara watched Harley as she babbled on. Don't get her wrong- she loved her girlfriend more than anything, but...

"Harley, I don't know. I don't think pills are gonna help. I think... I think I might have to go back to the clinic. If only for awhile."

"What?! No! No, we can work this out together. We've done it before, why not now? You've recovered, you're getting better, for fuck's sake! I'll just-"

"Harley-"

"-stay with you. You said you can't see him when I'm with you, right? So I'll-"

"HARLEY."

Harley stopped mid-sentence, mouth still open to say something before she slowly closed it. She stared at Amara, her eyes glassy. Amara smiled softly, reaching to put a hand on the red head's cheek. Harley sniffled, grabbing Amara's hand and holding it there.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too."

"It won't be forever, you know. The clinic helped at least a bit before. It might benefit me and you and others if I'm there. At least I won't be able to hurt myself or you."

"But you'd never hurt me."

"And I want to believe that, Motor, I really do. But I don't know what I'm capable of when I have an episode. When I'm seeing the things he makes me see. I can't risk that. I'd never be able to forgive myself."

By now tears were freely rolling down both girls' cheeks.

"But I don't want you to go. I've had enough of people going."

"I know, love, I know. But I'm sure you could still visit me. And like I said, it won't be forever. You won't even notice. It'll be like a snap."

Harley frowned, unconvinced.

Amara leaned forward and kissed one of the tears crawling it's way down Harley's fair skin. She moved to give her a quick peck on the lips before moving back and placing both hands against Harley's cheeks.

"I love you." She said.

"I love you, too, Space Girl."