To the White Wolf | Fenrys (ToG)

Part 4: Kya's Curse

(Kya's POV)

It's been ten years since I lost my daughter. Sometimes, I think it's my curse. How stupid was I to think that my happiness could go unscathed. That I could live out my days happily with my mate and beautiful children.

The night after I had given birth to Wylla, I cried because she was a girl. I was happy, but I was horrified. I knew what this world did to girls. Fenrys had gone to tuck in Connall and I cried as I promised my little Wylla that I would protect her with my dying breath. That her father and I would make sure that no harm or fear ever came to haunt her.

If Aelin didn't send the Gods packing, I would have screamed my throat raw at the sky for taking my daughter. It wasn't right and I feared the worst. It made me sick. Angry. Miserable.

For the first two years, I had felt horrible because I couldn't find my daughter. I felt like my mate was growing dissatisfied with me as I spent my days in my own head or searching. I felt like my son disliked me more for worrying over the child that wasn't here. And then my friends didn't know how to be around me. I was miserable to be around and while they were polite, they didn't know what to say around me.

My mother though, she knew exactly what I was going through. She gave me hope. She was my support. If Wylla was going through what I endured, I thought I couldn't live with myself, but my mother reminded me that if she could get through it then so could I.

"Wylla is cut from the same cloth as you," my mother had told me as she brushed my hair one day. "But not only does she have your persistence, but she has Fenrys' and yours bravery. She was raised by two parents that had made it through hell. My love, I don't fear for her safety. She's the most resourceful little girl I know."

I agreed with her, feeling a bit better.

And then Connall told me about how he had Dream Walked into Wylla's dream. Fenrys had told me that Connall was with a female he was charming, not in a four day sleep with a burning fever. He probably didn't want me to worry.

After learning that, not only was she alive, but there was a possibility of her being in another world, my anxiety filled search turned to trying to solve the puzzle of winnowing into another world. That was Connall's theory. Fenrys even helped as we dug through texts of world travel and theories, traveled to scholars and those who might offer information, and even tested trying to move between worlds. Aelin had offered the most helpful information.

I grew closer to Fenrys again. I had missed him so much that it hurt. I physically felt as though my soul was ripped into tiny pieces each day, but as my mate and I learned more and felt closer to traveling between worlds, ten years later and I was growing whole.

All I had left was one peice to find.

I laid in bed with my covers pulled up to my chin and stared at the ceiling in the dark. My lips curled as Fenrys watched me from my side. Where he belonged.

"What are you thinking?" His breathy voice sent shivers down my spine as he leaned in close and nuzzled my neck with a slow kiss.

My toes curled, "I'm thinking about this fae male I met some time ago."

He paused.

I smiled and continued, flipping to straddle him and teasing him the same way he did to me, "He's the most handsome male I've ever seen. Curly hair, golden skin, a smile bright enough to make the sun jealous." I kissed his throat, "You see, he makes me very happy. I'm not sure what I love most about him." A kiss placed over his heart, "The way he makes me laugh." A kiss placed over a thick scar where he was once shot with an arrow, "His intelligence and loyalty." A trail of kisses went low enough to cause the smile already on his face to turn devilish, "Or maybe it's the way he looks at me when he thinks I wouldn't notice."