I realize that things aren't perfect. I know they might never be. But I can't help except to stare up at him in the clouds and wish that everything can be perfect for him, at least. He was never a saint. And he knew that he never would be. I was damned. Eternally. And I would spend the rest of my existence trying to make up for my sins.
But of course there was always limbo.
A place in between worlds. Most people weren't sent there, but it was where they spent their time. In the realm in between. Angels were allowed to come and go as they pleased. Demons had to work their way to get in, but usually you were given at least a few hours a day, if you worked hard enough. It was our little reward to keep us from getting into more trouble. Limbo was that special place for most of us. It was a place where people could be whatever they wanted. Whoever they wanted. Without any of the judgement that might usually come with. It was the last place that was free, truly free.
"Hey, Jughead. Over here!" I turned my head to face the voice that was calling out to me. The market was a busy place, but I needed an angel wing potion. In limbo people can be whoever they want to. And that's who I wanted to be.
I turned to face a relatively short blonde. Most people here don't reveal whether they're angels or demons. Right from the moment you arrive, you're made to look like the average human. Although there is a bit of magic you can cast to change that. The wings fluttering on my back reminded me of that. I think the reason most people don't choose to put on angel or demon wings is because not doing it gives them a sense of normality. It makes them feel as though they're human again. I've accepted long ago that I never will be.
"Hey Betty." I reply with a smile. "What brings you to the market today?"
She shrugs. "I was looking for some angel potion. There's a cute angel just down the street, and I'm pretty sure he just got here." She says grinning from ear to ear. Betty's not usually this boy crazy. The fact that she's acting like this probably means it's someone special.
I shrug. "Well, what are we waiting for then? Let's go grab some of that potion." I reply with a smile. I'm just glad to see that she's happy again. That's all that really matters to me.
Joaquin is a tricky sort of guy. I know he mixes around with the wrong type, but I also know that he sells the longest lasting angel and demon potions of anyone around here. I also know which side he actually came from, although like me, not all demons are bad. Some just got caught in a rough spot is all. Joaquin smiles as we walk up to his table. "What can I get for you two today?" He asks.
I can see that he's labeled the amount of time that each potion lasts. 1 day for five coins. Ten for twenty coins. A monthly potion for thirty. A 6 month potion for sixty, and a yearly potion for a hundred and eighty. The change in my pockets is enough to get me a six month potion, and a day potion for Betty. I know the one that I've currently taken will only display my wings for another week or so.
"Betty is looking for a pair of wings, and I'll be ordering my bi annual potion." I reply, standing tall. Joaquin smiles. He's always happy to see customers. I suspect that more often than not he sees more people trying to rip him off or steal from him than people who want to pay the full price. I know his prices are fair. And they're at the cheapest rate anyone could get around here.
"Of course, will you be wanting the day pass, sweetheart?" He says addressing Betty.
"Yep." She says passing him her coins.
"Don't be ridiculous, I'll pay." I offer.
Betty frowns. "Are you sure Jug? You really don't have to."
"Of course. I have plenty enough money and a little spending will probably lift all this weight from my pockets." I smirk and pass the money to Joaquin. He puts the potions in a bag before passing them to us. "And be careful out there." He adds.
I'm almost about to leave when I turn to face him again. "Careful?" I ask.
Joaquin leans in closer to speak to us in a hushed voice. "I heard there were a few fallen angels in the area who don't like the look of wings. A new group of people. No one in the gang seems to recognize them, but they've already caused a few bloody noses. Just make sure you don't stray too far from sunlight, okay?" He warns us.
Betty nods. "Don't worry. I'll be sure to keep him safe." Betty replies as I stand there nervously staring off at the shadows. Memories of my death resurface, and I'm not sure what to do about them. My death seems to be the one thing that still, to this day, continues to haunt me like a ghost. Most people end up forgetting their deaths, after a while, but mine remained, the memory still clear as day in my mind.
Sometimes my mind still wanders back to those moments.
