Mikey’s POV
I tried to block out the voices coming from outside the room, but they were just too loud. I even tried so hard to fight the voices that were making its way to my head, but it was no use. They were just too strong.
“What she is saying it true”
“You are disgusting”
“You deserve to die”
“Just kill yourself already. Stop trying.”
“Luke doesn’t love you.”
“No one will ever love you.”
I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I could honestly pass out any minutes and it wouldn’t matter. I’ve sat here for the past 20 minutes and listening to Liz throw out rude and disgusting insults about me, and somehow that brought all the memories from high school back, and now they wouldn’t go away.
“You’re disgusting you know Mikey, you deserve to die.” Bret yelled swinging his foot back and slamming it into my stomach. I couldn’t help but groan in pain and curl up holding my stomach. He threw a few more punches and kicks at me before speaking again.
“You know, I could just end it all for you. A few more kicks to the head and you’re sure to be dead.” Bret said and laughed along with his other friends.
“Do it.” I choked quietly. “Please just kill me I don’t care.” I sobbed out.
I ended up in the hospital after that. Someone had found me unconscious behind the school and called 911. I was determined to find the person who found me and just had to save me. I wanted to yell at them for calling 911 and even finding me, I didn’t want to be found. I just wanted to die. But of course that didn’t happen
I had a concussion of course and a few broken bones. It wasn’t enough though. I didn’t want to be alive. I wanted those guys to kill me, I couldn’t handle being beat up every day mentally and physically. After I got out of the hospital I ended up locking myself in my room for a few days until I was forced to get up and go back to school. Of course my parents didn’t care if I was being bullied, they were never home enough to pay attention to me anyway. When I went back to school things didn’t get better, I didn’t expect them to. People still called me names. I didn’t get beat up anymore, well that was until I came back to school without my casts on. Then everything was back to normal. I became depressed and starting having panic attacks all of the time. I would just out of the blue break down on random parts of the day, it was scary but I had to live with it. I spent most of my time in my room, sometime I would even lock my bathroom door and sit in my shower and cry. I stopped eating too, I felt like if I didn’t deserve to be happy, then I didn’t deserve to eat. I know, doesn’t make much sense, buts that just how my brain works. The voices in my head didn’t make anything better either. The voices just made things worse, confirming that everything people were saying was true and I deserved everything that those guys did to me in school. I never tried to kill myself though, and sometimes I wonder why I just don’t do that. I mean I could have ended everything and been happy again. I was just never able to bring myself to do that. I did begin cutting, and burning myself. Like I told Luke, I would cut myself every time I felt upset and I would count up the number of names I was called each day, and put that many cuts on my wrist that night. I also burned myself too, my parents had lighters lying around everywhere. I would get a lighter and burn something that was metal then put it on my skin. That’s simply how I punished myself, it’s just what I deserved.
I heard a faint knock on the bathroom door then it squeaked open. I was too focused on the voices in my head to look up to see who it was. I felt someone tower over me and my first reaction was to scoot further into the corner to get away from whoever it was.
“Please don’t hurt me.” I stutter out covering my face with my hands. I felt strong arms wrap around me and pull me into their chest, I tried to struggle out of their grip but I was too weak to fight and longer so I just settled in their chest. I was shaking and I have yet to look up to see who was holding me.
“Mikey, please calm down.” The voice said rocking me back and forth. It took a while but I eventually stopped shaking and my breathing seemed to go back to a normal rate. I eventually had enough strength to look up and see Luke looked down at me with a worried look.
“Luke.” I choked out. He brought his hand to my face and wiped a tear that I didn’t even know fell.
“Are you alright Mikey?” He asked. I shook my head and put my head back in his chest. Luke just sighed and laid his head on top of mine and continued to rock us back and forth.
"I want to die so much." I sobbed out clenching my fist around the fabric of Luke's shirt. I heard Luke let out a big sigh as he continued to rock me back and forth.
"Mikey. Please don't say stuff like that." Luke begged, planting a kiss on my forhead.
"It's true though. I hate my life I just can't take it anymore" I stuttered between sobs.
"Mikey I hate when you wish things like this. I couldn't even imagine life without you." Luke explained. I pushed myself out of Luke grip and sat on my knees facing him.
"I just don't get it, what's so special about me?" I questioned. Luke positioned himself so he was also on his knees facing me, then began rambling.
"Your just so beautiful and amazing, everytime your about you make me extremly happy. I wish you would see how beautiful you are, it's the truth and I just don't want to imagine a life without you, I just- I just love you so much Mikey." Luke blurted. Both mine and Luke's eyes widen when we let them words sink in.
"What did you say." I said. He shook his head and scooted away from me.
"Nothing." He explained.
"You said you loved me." I whispered. He sighed, but nodded right after. I crawled towards him and scotted into his sides, allowing him to wrap an arm around me. We sat in silence for a bit before Luke spoke up.
"You hurt yourself again." He said. I picked my arm up and saw the slices I had made not too long ago. I had completly forgot they were there. Luke picked my arm up and brought it to his mouth and began to kiss each cut, doing the same with the other arm. I felt so fragile, yet so weak. After he finished he reached up and grabbed the wet cloth hanging over the sink and began cleaning me up. I hissed as the cloth came in contact with my open cuts, but I allowed Luke to continue.
"Please stop doing this to yourself." Luke begged.
"I can't promise anything. But I will try, for you."
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I don't know if I should do a few more chapters to this story or keep going. I haven't figure that out. I already have an idea for my next story which my friend is going to help me write, but I can't write that until I finish this story. Hope you liked this chapter though. Comment, vote, follow. ILY BYEE!
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When Our Lips Met (Muke)
FanfictionMichael was gay, Luke was straight, Michael was depressed, Luke was worried, Michael loved Luke, But did Luke love Michael?