Overdose

being overdose

"Hyung. We have arrived," D.O awake me from my dream. I blink, trying to hide the beating in my heart. I dream of him, again. It is not unpleasant. It is sweeter than a sweet dream, darker than a beautiful nightmare. The touch, his touch, makes my heart yearn for him. His kisses, our kisses, is like a poison that I greedily want it more and more.

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It is 5th December of 2015. Another year had passed since he left me. The pains are still in my heart. How could he? How could he left me alone after taking my whole heart? I sigh. It is a question that never had an answer.

We were watching our friends, VIXX performing on the stage. They are getting handsomer and cooler. I gaze over toward my other 9 members. Jongin sit beside Kyungsoo, whispering something that make him blush. Baekhyun is looking at Chanyeol who staring at Sandara. Sehun, Tao and Chen are dancing to the VIXX's song, cheering like a fanboy. Lay who sit beside me keep on laughing and mumbling something I cannot understand. I look to my right, searching for the only 90-liner in our group. I spot him behind Jongin and Kyungsoo, looking at a place, some distant place. Minseok keep staring at the place where some people, probably other idols seated. He keep fidgeting on his seat, looks like he is trying to stand up but something keep holding him back. His eyes is watering, his hand curl into a fist. I glance to the place. Oh my !

A pair of round, deer-like eyes is staring back at Minseok. I try to blink and glance away before my eyes land on another pair of eyes. His eyes. Oh... how I miss the stare. How I miss myself drowning in his eyes when we stare at each other before our lips parted away. My eyes move from his eyes to his perfect curved nose to his cherished-pink lips that flash a little smile. The cheering of crowd makes me sit upright and turn my gaze to the stage. I put my hand on my heart, trying to relieve the heart attack I have felt seconds ago.

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Our eyes meet again when the emcee ask him and Luhan to give the award of 'Best Male Group 2015'. For the first time, I hope that we won't win the award. Let the others win, I silently pray. When they are on the stage, talking to each other about the award and so-so, the other members keep looking elsewhere except Yixing and Minseok. Suddenly, the crowd cheers and chanting our names. Each of us stand on our feets in a slow movement and move toward an awkward situation.

"Congratulation." I hear them saying to us. Some of us just nod, some has grasp their hands and shake it while thanking them. They make a way for me, wanting me to give a speech. I walk slowly to the mic, hands and forehead sweating, heart beating as fast as rollercoaster. My shoulder brush past him before a hand land on it. "You can do it. You're a jjang leader," his voice comforting me. Without noticing it, I slightly nod to him, flash a big smile and give a sincere speech for our fans.

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The lobby of the hotel is crowded, pack with nearly hundreds of people, idols and staffs. My cheeks become cramp as I keep on smiling and thanking them. The sponsors is kind enough to let us have another night in here to rest. They were having a party at the hall but I am too tired to wait for others so I walk up to our room alone. Minseok, probably being the oldest in our group, has already fly away to our room as soon as we reach the hotel. Usually, I would share a room with Kyungsoo or Lay but they all want a change so I end up with Minseok. I try to open the room with the provided key but nothing happen. Being a deadpan, I bang the door. "Minseok. Minseok... Open the door. My key can't functioning," I say loudly, hoping he does not fall asleep yet. After some tiring minutes, I hear someone approaching the door and unlock it. My eyes open widely when I see the person in front of me.

He wearing just a shirt and pajama pant but still, he looks hot. His hair is wet, some droplet of water drop on top of my face. I look down, afraid to meet his gaze. "I, umm, sorry... I think I must be on a wrong level," I let out a shaky laugh before turning away. A firm hands wrap around my waist, stopping me from moving forward. He lift me up, bring me into the room and lock the door. I gasp. "What do you think you're doing?"

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He laugh before spun me around, making me face-to-face with him. "I'm thinking to kiss you on your lips." My face flush with red. He put my head on his chest and hug me tightly. I could hear his heart beating the same rythm with mine. "I miss you, Wu Yi Fan." He giggle shyly. "I miss you, Junmyeon. And I love you."

"I think I need to go back to the room now. Minseok might suspecting me," I say to him but I keep snuggling with him. It has been hours since the wrong level accident. We keep sharing kisses and snuggling on the bed the whole time. He ruffle my hair, pecking my forehead thousandth times. "He won't. He wouldn't even care if you're not coming back to your room. Matter of fact, they probably didn't want you to mess up with their moment," he say while trying to peck my lips this time. "They?" I ask, dumbfounded. "Yup. Do you want me to show you what are they doing right now?" he ask while smirking before pull up the blanket to cover us wholly.

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"Ah~ Home sweet home," Chanyeol's voice boom over the house. We finally reach our dorm after hours of flight and traffic. I laugh and shook my head. It is midnight but we haven't had dinner nor lunch yet. "Who wants pizza and chickens?" I smile before flashing my card in front of the others. Jongin and Sehun yelp happily while Tao, Baekhyun and Chen are fighting for the phone to call the restaurant. Lay has already sleeping on the couch but I am sure he will wake up as soon as the foods arrive. "Hey, hyung. You become more generous and happy like a clown after we came back from there," Chanyeol say to me. "Yeah, hyung. The whole time, you were smiling widely. Even in your sleep. You freak us out, y'know?" Sehun raise his eyebrow, making other start to look at me too. "Is it wrong? If you don't want my treat, then it's fine with me." I playfully put my card into my wallet before Kyungsoo snatch it away. "Jongin will cry if he doesn't get his chicken and I don't want to waste my money on others," he say silently and smile swiftly toward me before taking away the phone from Baekhyun and actually start to order the foods. "You don't want to eat?" I ask Minseok who just finished taking a bath. "Nah, I'm tired. I hardly slept last night." "What did you do, then?" I try to dig out eventhough I already know the answer. His white baozi-like cheeks flush with the shade of red. I laugh. "It's okay. I'm tired too." "Oh, what did you do? You're not in the room when he- I mean- not until morning." This time, I am the one who start to shy. "Erm, let just say, I did the same thing you did last night. With other person, of course." Minseok's round eyes become bigger as I left him dumbfounded.

I lay on my bed after locking the door. My mind keep replaying yesterday's accident. I smile at myself. After all of the dreams I kept dreaming about every night, it took one night for all of it to happen. I kick my leg on the air, trying to fight the giddiness in my heart. A sound of new message shock me. I search my phone in my bag, finally found it, unlocking it and read the new text.

My 중독 :
Have u arrived? Are u sleeping? Sorry for keeping u awake last nite. Call me when u wake up.

I love you, kim junmyeon.

I smile. I dial up his number. First ring. Second ring.
"Hello? Junmyeonnie~" I laugh. "나도 사랑해, wu yi fan."