Harry Potter Fan Fiction: For Talia

Chapter 25

The bathroom door slammed shut and Moaning Myrtle gave a shriek from her stall. Talia wanted to join her. Her fists were clenched and she was angry. Mostly at herself but at Anton, the Carrows- the entire lot of them. Words crept up and whispered in her ear: Blood traitor, muggle-lover, repulsive, disgrace. Every word connected with half blood. Every word seared its message into her brain. Vertigo threw her; she was unsteady on her feet. The whole world was tilting downward and her grip on it was beginning to slip. Talia leant over the bathroom sink and unleashed the bile within her.

Slowly, Talia became aware of Tabitha's presence. The rubs across her shoulders were comforting. Talia looked up and saw running water from the tap. She washed her face and spat. Talia saw her reflection in the mirror; she was a mess.

"You know he didn't mean it," Tabitha said gently, "he cares about you."

"I know," Talia half whispered. The girl in the mirror also agreed. She really did look as bad as what she felt. Her eyes were sleepless, her pallor was shut-in. Now there was green, tinging her cheeks, a colour in an almost colourless face. Her hair fell flat and dull. What scared her more; she couldn't remember what she had looked like before, when she had been healthy, regular Talia. That girl was far away on the other side of a dream.

"You hurt him," Tabitha accused. This, she was not gentle about.

"I know," Talia whispered again. She tried to stop what was to be said next- she really did- however, anger won out. "But he hurt me first. He attacked me."

Tabitha took her response and rejected it. She didn't move a muscle yet Talia could see that her friend was very much aware of how deeply she was hurting. Tabitha knew that Talia's lashing out at Anton, that her being sick and looking the way did, was in response to something else. Tabitha's pale blue-eyed gaze was piercing. She was trying to seek out the source of the pain but Talia couldn't let her find it. Talia looked away.

"You can't blame him because he is not the one making you feel this way," Tabitha reasoned beautifully.

"I don't blame him- I blame you-know-who. He is the source from which all this evil comes from. I know that." Talia snapped.

"But you can't be angry at him so you are angry at everyone else, including yourself." Tabitha said; she had her hands on her hips.

"Why do you have to be so damn insightful? It's the first day of school. Shouldn't this all wait until at least the end of the first week? Can't I wallow in my anger a while?" Talia found herself making light of her situation. It was refreshing. The girl in the mirror was almost smiling.

"If I thought it would help I would- but I live with you. There is no way I am spending the entire year dealing with a ticked off Talia who just walks around lashing out at people." Tabitha gave Talia a hug. "Your parents' separating is tough but it is not the end of the world. You'll still see them. They're adult enough to behave themselves in front of you. One day, things will shape into a new normal everyone can be happy with."

Talia kept the crooked smile on her face, accepting the hug as her heart became heavy with the half-truth. Tabitha thought she was upset about the "divorce". Too bad it was way more sinister than that. That at least a divorce would be some-what resolved. It was why she had been putting off this conversation. Her warning on the train was useless because her friends loved her too much to let it pass. Tabitha had been waiting for this opportunity and her argument with Anton had made it possible. It was another reason to be angry with him- not a good reason but that didn't really matter to her. Talia was still within her crisis. She was cocooned in her trouble and exhausted by it. She didn't want to hear another word.

"There won't be a "normal" to return to if you-know-who wins." Talia said morbidly but added, "Thank-you for being you. I am glad you are my friend." She would be as polite as she could and try and keep the peace. Between Tabitha and Chris she would have a hard time keeping it up.