The Tutor

2

The next day, I'm driving home from work with my favourite playlist blasting at full volume, singing along to Mxmtoon like I'm Karen's age. I get a few weird looks at the stoplights from other drivers, but I just flash them my signature smile and crank up the car dancing.

Leopold is due in around forty five minutes, meaning we've got to do some quick cleaning in the house so it doesn't look like we live in a pig sty. He's gotta feel welcome since he's going to be here four days a week for the foreseeable future and I don't want him cancelling because the pizza box above the dish washer has grown so much mould that we have a second roommate.

I wonder if it's going to be awkward the first few times, like in high school when you had to go around the class saying a fun fact about yourself, or in a new job when you're texting someone new and not sure whether you should use '😭' or '😂', or be one of those annoying people that use 'oaojandjckwn' whenever they send something funny.

Or I wonder if it's going to be awkward because of the age thing. Karen's probably older than most of his students and I'm probably younger than most of his employers. I'm barely out of high school myself.

When I pull into the driveway, I see a black car in the garage. A car that doesn't belong to me or kyle. Before getting out of the truck, I give my usual honk on the horn.

The front door is already unlocked when I get there and I can hear laughter coming from inside.
Karen, Kyle, and his boyfriend are all sat at the kitchen table playing Cards Against Humanity, debating which card is the best in the round. They've completely destroyed the anonymity of the game by trying to make their card seem like the best option to Kyle's boyfriend, but it doesn't look like anyone seems to care. When I walk inside, they all stare at me.

"Kenny, come and pick the best card for us!" Kyle beckons me over, "a pair of fresh eyes should be able to settle this."

I am the worst at choosing the best card. I think they're all really funny and it takes me about ten minutes to decide the winner. But, despite this, I sit between Kyle's boyfriend and my sister and take a look at what's been played so far.

The black card is one of my favourites - 'Harry Potter And The Chamber Of...' and the two white cards are 'A bunch of men fucking mannequins' and 'Chunks of dead prostitutes'.
The last one is horrifying but the imagery for the first one is too funny not to love it.
All eyes are on me, waiting for my decision.

"While I love the imagery of the first one..." I pick up the prostitute card, "I think this one is the winner. It's gross, it's funny, and raises a million questions."

Kyle slaps the table and Karen grins, grabbing the black card from the middle of the table. Even though I've tried to protect her from the grossness of the world, Karen isn't as innocent as she looks and I have to admit, she's the best CAH player I've ever met. If she gets her hands on the blank card, you're fucked.

"Kenny, wanna play with us?" Kyle asks. He's probably roping me into this so there's less chance of my sister winning the game.

I check my phone. We've still got time before the tutor gets here.
Looks like we aren't cleaning.

"Pass me the cards."

- - -

Half an hour, two arguments and a play fight later, there's a knock at the front door. It's so quiet that I almost miss it.

"That'll be the tutor." Karen says while she tries to organise a messy pile of white cards so she can put them back in the box.

"Oh shit, yeah."