Final Frontier

Chapter Three

Finally, Lex felt a warm hand place itself hesitantly over hers and squeeze lightly, the feel of his hand on hers was strange and yet achingly familiar. Clamping down on the urge to rip her hand from under his, Lex instead looked up into the one face she knew almost as well as her own.

"You are not to blame" Bones intoned sternly but gently, his gaze intense and fierce "Not for any of it"

Lex smiled sadly "I should have told you. You were right, how could you trust me if I kept things from you"

Emphatically shaking his head Bones unconsciously squeezed her hand so tightly she almost winced in pain "No, do not blame yourself for any of it. I overreacted, I don't blame you, not anymore, I you were just trying to protect us all, including me"

Swallowing thickly Lex blinked back the tears that threatened "Thank you"

Bones nodded once before withdrawing his hand from hers and sitting back onto his stool. The sound of the crowded bar rushing back so suddenly Lex jumped looking wildly around, momentarily confused to find they were having this conversation in public.

Remembering her friends across the bar, Lex glanced in their direction. Scotty and Uhura with the addition of Jim, who'd finally arrived moments earlier, were no longer making any pretence of not watching them.

Quickly Lex wiped her eyes and smiled at them reassuringly, though Uhura nonetheless half rose from her seat with a murderous expression on her face.

Lex caught her eye and shook her head slightly mouthing silently "It's ok"

Uhura subsided, though continued to stare intently in her direction unconvinced. Observing the scene before him Jim discretely moved himself between them, blocking them from prying though well-meaning eyes.

"I suspect Uhura would like nothing better than to knock me cold right now" Bones mused having followed Lex's gaze to his crewmates.

Lex chuckled "I don't doubt it, she's a good friend, the best I've ever had. I owe her more than you can imagine"

"I'm sorry" Bones sighed, guilt spiking hot and molten through him at having split Lex from people she considered more family than mere friends.

Lex looked sideways at him cocking a sardonic eyebrow "For which part exactly?"

Bones laughed at the look on her face, though quietly without any real mirth "All of it"

"Forget it, it's in the past now" Lex sighed, feeling suddenly very tired, it had been a very emotionally draining 24 hours.

"Is it?" he asked quietly.

Lex frowned, confused as to where he could be going with this "How could it not be?"

Bones took a deep breath steeling himself to say the thing he'd been desperate to from the moment she sat down next to him "I miss you; I should have never sent you away"

Lex stood putting her now vacant stool between them, her expression stony "Don't"

Bones reached a hand towards her, muttering quietly "But it's true"

Lex flinched as if struck taking another step from him, how could he drag this all back up again just when there seemed like there could be a chance for them to be friends again.

Bones withdrew his hand sadly, placing it back on the bar, visibly crumbly as Lex closed in on herself, her metaphorical walls building back up even higher than before.

Even as her body and her heart begged her to flee Lex felt a pang of pain at the expression on Bones' face "I'm sorry Bones but I can't... You've no idea... no idea just how hard... I can't"