A Matter of Days

Day One

Variety might as well have been a sin, the way this man so cautiously avoided it. 

The first part of his morning routine was to stay in bed after the alarm rang and allow himself time to wake up. He was strict in his habit of listening to the end of whatever song was playing and waiting to hear the weather report.

"The h-high for today w-w-will be seventy-sssix..."

The man groaned and turned off the sound.

Since when did they start letting amateurs on the radio?

✧✧✧

~KATE

"S-so it should be a b-b-beautiful day today, folks. Enjoy."

The producer waited until the ON AIR sign went dark and stormed up to the desk.

"What was that, Kate? I haven't seen such poor reporting since you started here three years ago!"

"I'm so sorry... I don't know what happened..."

"Well you need to figure it out before your segment tonight. If that happens again-"

"It won't, I promise."

Kate hurried past the crewmen staring at her and disappeared into the women's room. She looked briefly in the mirror and into her wide eyes.

Why can't you just pull yourself together? One day you're up and the next you're a complete emotional trainwreck. No one likes to be around you. No one likes- you.

She felt her heart rate increasing and her hands beginning to shake, like she wanted to hit something, or hurt something, maybe herself. She sunk down to the tiled floor. Sometimes when she felt like this she could calm herself down by pretending she could stop time. She pulled her knees up to her chest and squeezed her eyes shut.

✧✧✧

The man stretched as he stood up. He looked out the window and baulked at the clouds.

"B-b-beautiful day" my ass. Such an awful morning.

He went through his normal routine of showering and grooming, and made it out to his car with plenty of time to spare. He buckled his seat belt and ran his hand down his favorite red silk tie.

Might as well grab a coffee on the way.

He drove past his favorite mural: a portrait of the founder of the town. He approached an intersection, and as he glanced back to take one final look at the most important man in town, a teenager stepped off the curb to cross the street. The man noticed him in time and honked furiously.

"Get out of the way, idiot! Why don't you watch where you're going!"

~ANDRE

Andre stumbled back onto the curb. All at once the negative thoughts he'd been working so hard to keep at bay broke through.

Well you did it again, "Idiot". You can't even cross a street correctly. Such a loser.

"I know you," Andre whispered under his breath. "You're Depression. You're an illness. You're not me."

So what? Does that change what a bad person you are? Actually, I think it makes you worse. Good people don't have these thoughts. Only good people should be in the world. You don't deserve to stay.

Andre checked quickly for traffic and walked across the street. He saw his local general store and, making a conscious decision, walked in. He didn't need to look at the signs as he walked directly to what he was looking for. He'd been here before, although he'd never actually bought it. He sat down in the aisle and stared at the anti-freeze.

It had been a year and a half now that he'd been contemplating his suicide. He had sought help a few months ago and his therapist told him that identifying his suicidal thoughts and calling them out for what they are would help them go away, but so far he'd had no luck. It'd been so long that he'd had these thoughts that he felt like they'd be there forever.

These thoughts are me. They won't go away because they're true.

He stood up and reached forward to accept the poison.

✧✧✧

The Coffee Bean was a small establishment, staffed by two women and a delivery boy. The man in the red tie chose to have his daily morning coffee there for just that reason. There was never much of a line and hardly ever anyone to potentially trap him into making small-talk.

~ANNA

Anna smiled when she saw him come in. Seeing her regular customers made her feel happy, and even safe, somehow. She reached up subconsciously and touched the tender bruise on her neck. She had concealed it expertly this morning, but she almost wished that she hadn't. In a way she wished that just one person would notice it and ask about it. She desperately needed to talk to someone. Every time she shut her eyes she could see flashes of the night before- of being thrown against the wall, of seeing a foot descending towards her abdomen, of feeling a hand on her neck and another closing over her mouth.

It's funny, isn't it? How the person who hurts you the most is the one who is supposed to love you?

She watched the man in the red tie considering their small menu and laughed quietly to herself. She had already typed in the amount for a small cup of the house coffee and was preparing his to-go cup. She loved predictable people.

The man in the red tie thanked Anna as he retrieved his coffee and exited the tiny coffee house.

✧✧✧

He arrived at the park 'n ride right on schedule. The bus pulled up to the curb and let out a "sssssss" as the front corner lowered to the ground. The man in the red tie shuddered at the sound. He hated buses. He hated the strangers he was forced to sit next to and the pleasant comments he knew they would make about the weather and the fact that it was "Hump Day".

He struggled to keep people from touching him as he stepped up into the bus and handed the bus driver his token.

~PAT

Pat loved his job. Some people would say that being a bus driver wasn't something to be proud of, but nevertheless it was his life. He felt important, and like he had so much responsibility, getting all of these hard working people to their jobs. Who knew where all of them were going? Maybe one of them would save a life today. Maybe someone would design a new type of shoe that would become all the rage around the world. He got to look these amazing people in the eye and thank them for choosing Compass Park 'n Ride as he accepted their tokens. What an honor.

And he couldn't wait until tomorrow, his first day with the new token machine. He couldn't help but feel that its addition was a sign of the importance of his position. They wouldn't be putting money into something like this if it wasn't important, would they? His position must be worth noticing if they were making improvements like this! He just hoped he could learn to use it in time. Tomorrow couldn't come soon enough.