Beloved Without Fear

Chapter 1: Prologue

Author's note: Warning: This story will contain some scenes of abuse, bullying, mentionings of suicide. Viewer discretion is strongly advised. Read at your own risk.

As a child, I've always used to love fairytales. The simplistic, good-versus-bad narrative of fairy tales and the characters within them. Whatever the story, fairy tales helped me feel...safe and comfortable with the story as it develops. So even if the hero or heroine at the centre of the tale experiences difficulties or hardship along the way, I could feel confident that they are going in the right direction. At least...that's what I used to think. But as of now...I don't think there's a fairytale book that'll do anything for me.

Magic? Fairies? Dragons? Heart-racing adventures? Happy Endings..? Those don't exist. They never have...except only in those children's storybooks. And my life...is anything but a fairytale. If you asked me about my life, what would you expect me to say? That my life is normal? That I live as every other teenage girl does? That is what I would say...because I don't want to tell you the truth. I've never had a normal life. I envy the other girls and boys around me.

They have parents who tell them, even show them, that they love them. They have families who support them and care about them. They've had people to turn to for support and guidance. But I...I don't.

"Just shut up, you..."

"Leave! Go away! You're not wanted!"

My parents have never said it, nor do they show it. Not anymore. My father and mother...hated me. I was barely acknowledged by them. I was starting to think I was nothing more than a burden on them. They do see me. They do hear my voice. I wanted to believe that they had loved me from birth...but as I grew older, my parents began intentionally distancing themselves from me.

A happy family...  We were a happy family. Once upon a time. My father would hold me tight in his arms and would call me his Little Starlight. My mother and I would play the piano together and sing songs. We would play together all the time. It was fun. We're always smiling and being happy. But...I always felt like something was off. I didn't know what. It felt like...I was in the middle of a play. And I... I just wanted to know. And one night when we were having dinner, I decided to ask them.

"Mother, father? Why do you always look so happy? Are you always this happy? Doesn't anything sad ever happen?"

I wanted to kick myself in the ribs for ever muttering out those words. Because of mother's smile... her once kind and gentle smile...I would never see it again.

"WHAT KIND OF DEMON CHILD ARE YOU!? FOR WHOSE SAKE DO YOU THINK THIS WAS ALL FOR?! TRYING EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMN DAY LIVING WITH A BEAST?! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?" My mother screamed at me as she smashed plates, knocked over our food and nearly destroyed the dinner table. I was left in a fearful daze. I had never seen my mother behave like this. My father...might have as he remained calm throughout her screams.

That night...the play had come to an end.

"Mommy? Mommy... Daddy?" I remembered crying most of the evening. I never felt such terror from my parents before. I was scared that I might've ruined something. So I went out of my room to try and apologise for what I've done. It was none of my business. I should've been happy they were happy. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry." I stood outside their door, crying. Sobbing how sorry I was. I don't remember how long I stood there for but eventually, they opened the door. My father stared down at me and mother refused to look at me. My father then began to reach me.

They... Hated me.

I was a heavy burden. They were struggling. All this time, they had been struggling. And in the end...it broke. Never to be able to return. I was...