Oblivious (Boun x Prem)

Chapter 4: Strange

"Boun, calm down." Says P'Thanapon for like the 10th time already this morning.

My leg won't stop jittering, and I keep zoning out or stuttering like a bloody child with stage fright.

To keep it short. I'm fucking nervous.

I always get like this before I see him, I can't help it. He makes me feel so nervous, and I don't even want to get into what happens when I'm actually in the same room as him.

"Did you have too many cups of coffee this morning or what?" My manager's voice plays in my ear, without looking up I mutter a short reply.

"No."

"Then why the hell are you acting like this, you're starting to worry me." Finally looking up I turn to look at him.

"There's nothing to worry about, just personal stuff."

He raises his brow - clearly unsatisfied with my answer - but decides not to question me further and resorts to starting a conversation with one of the staff members.

I hate that he has this affect on me.

That's a lie.

Fine! I don't hate it. I mean a can sometimes when it makes me stutter continuously, or trip over my own feet - you wouldn't believe how many times that's actually happen...

"Boun! Boun!"

I look up again because apparently I'd dropped my head back down without even realizing it and see P'Thanapon waving his hand in my face.

"Oh, sorry." I say sheepishly, he sighs.

"I swear. If I didn't know any better I'd think you were in love." He says shaking his head, eyes pointed to the sky.

In love?

"Anyway, come on. The shoot's about to start."

I can only nod and follow him absentmindedly to where the shoot is taking place, mind still clouded in a haze as I internally prepare for what's to come later.

***

"Okay. Good job guys, we're done here for the day." Says the director, everyone dispersing or starting to pack up the equipment as well as take everything down.

I get up from the chair I was in, heading over to the dressing room to change out of the clothing I was asked to model in for today as well as the jewellery that decorated my neck, arms and fingers.

After neatly folding and putting the clothes back where they belong I bid goodbye to all the staff, crew and P'Thanapon before taking my leave from the three hour long shoot.

Getting in the car I take my phone out to message Prem that I'll be there in just over at least twenty minutes.

As I type the message I can feel my heartbeat rising and my hands are  shaking. This happens every time I message him, even though it's just messaging, it still makes me nervous, as if I'm back in high school, texting my crush for the first time. Which in a way, I am.

Once he's messaged back I'm putting my phone away and reversing out the parking lot on a one-way destination to his apartment.

I try singing alone to the music to calm down my nerves, but it only partially helps. My hands are still shaking slightly and my singing is more out of tune than usual.

Though by the time I get there I'm indeed less nervous, but am internally battling with my self on turning back and leaving all together.

I can just tell him something came up and I have to cancel.