The Way I Am

17. The One With the Honest Apology

For what felt like ages, the kids in detention spoke about different topics. Andrew explained how he had glued together the ass cheeks of one student who was part of the Science Club. Andrew also expressed how he always did things to make his old man proud. He could never think of himself, because his dad always put pressure on Andy to become the best.

"I think my old man and your old man should get together and go bowling," Bender expressed after Andrew was done speaking. Everyone laughed. It had turned out to be a good Saturday detention. Mara never thought that she was going to be able to get to know those kids more than what she knew from rumors.

"It's like me, you know, with my grades. When I step outside and look at myself, you know? I see myself and I don't like what I see. I really don't," Brian expressed, cleaning the tears that ran down his face.

Mara blurred out the words, thinking about her mother's situation. Her father was abusive towards her, making her mom think about how ugly she had become. Her father suffered insecurity issues, looking at herself in the mirror and expressing the same words that Brian spoke. She didn't like what she saw, and Mara hated to see her mother in that state.

She did everything in her power to make her mother see how beautiful and kind she was. Mara was proud of her, and she tried to constantly show her how much.

Mara's thoughts were snapped when Allison spoke, "I can write with my toes! I can also eat, brush my teeth."

"With your feet?" Claire questioned in disgust.

"That's actually pretty cool," Mara stated, nodding her head.

"I can make spaghetti," Brian rejoiced, making Mara laugh. Claire looked at Andrew and asked, "What can you do?"

"I can tape all your buns together!" he replied, laughing, making the rest of the children laugh.

"What can you do?" Mara asked Claire.

"Swear you guys won't laugh," she said, pointing towards Bender, who sat in silence.

Claire grabbed a lipstick from her purse and placed it between her breasts. She applied it from her cleavage. Once she lifted her head, they could all observe that the lipstick was perfect.

Everyone clapped, except for Bender who was doing it slow and in a sarcastic manner, making Claire look at him in disbelief.

"Alright! When did you learn how to do that?" the wrestler asked impressed.

"Summer camp in Seventh Grade," she replied.

"That was great, Clare. My image of you is totally blown," Bender expressed. Claire's expression was one of hurt, and even Mara couldn't believe he had said that to her.

"You're a shit! Don't do that to her. You swore to God you wouldn't laugh!" Allison objected.

"Am I laughing?" he questioned, defending himself.

"You don't have to be an ass about it, John," Mara said, making him look at her in confusion.

He hated to behave how he always did in front of Mara, but he couldn't help hiding who he was. John Bender was not only a criminal and a rebel, but at times he was also simply a jerk. He didn't want to be though. For Mara, he didn't, but it seemed like every time, he fucked things over.

"You fucking prick!" the wrestler snapped.

"What do you care what I think? I don't even count, right? I could disappear forever, and it wouldn't make any difference. I may as well not even exist at this school, remember?" Bender yelled at Andrew who bowed his head down, thinking about the words he had expressed to the rebel earlier in the morning.

"And you," he said, talking to Claire. "You don't like me anyway."

"You know, I have just as many feelings as you do and it hurts just as much when somebody steps all over them," Claire explained, feeling the tears run down her face.

"You are so pathetic!" Bender responded. Mara couldn't take it anymore. She stood up from the floor and sat in the sofa that was located behind the rest of the students. She couldn't hear him anymore. She liked him so much, that listening to the hateful words he expressed towards Claire were starting to anger her.

She didn't like the princes, but she understood when to not cross the line. She knew that she didn't have a filter when it came to talk back to the teachers but listening to his words towards Claire made her think of the way her father used to speak to her mother. The whole situation frustrated her.

"Mara?" John called with a hint of worriedness in his voice.

"For someone who understands and has gone through abuse, you should know better. Are you just like your father, John? Because from when I am sitting, that's all I see," Mara angrily replied, regretting her words as soon as they came out of her mouth.

John opened his mouth and his eyes widen. He hated his father. He hated the abuse, but he never realized that he was on the verge to become a monster too. He shook his head in disbelief.

"I am nothing like my father," he expressed with guilt in his words.

"I am sorry," he stated, making everyone in the room stay in silence.

"My God! Are we going to be like our parents?" Andrew questioned.

Mara stared at Bender who had a guilty expression on his face. "I am sorry," he repeated but towards Mara's direction. She could see the sincerity his facial expression showed.

John Bender was a person who never apologized for anything. Mara knew that, and the rest of the school knew it too. So, for Bender to actually say those words meant that he truly felt them.

Mara nodded her head and wiped the tears that ran down her face. She got off the sofa and walked back to the circle, sitting next to John. She looked directly into his eyes and nodded her head once again. He grabbed her hand and she accepted it. Interlocking their hands together, they listened what the rest of the group had to say.