inked goodbyes ~ a the mortal instruments fanfic

growth

Luke opened Clary's door after a light knock. He found her gazing at her sketchbook which was covered in drawings and runes and words and colors. He gasped a little at it, surprised at the beautiful extravagance coming off of the page. 

Clary looked up, and Luke could see her eyes were puffy from crying. He smiled weakly at her.

"Hey, kiddo," Luke tried. "Sorry to barge in like this. How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine." Clary choked, clearly lying. Luke frowned and glanced down at her sketchbook.

"What are you drawing?" He asked, more out of encouragement than curiosity. 

Clary shrugged, and looking down at her paper said, "Something for Simon. I know he'll never see it but, I wanted to make something that he would be proud of if he saw."

Luke smiled, "He would be. That looks amazing." After a few moments of silence, Luke spoke again without preamble. "Did Simon give you uh..." 

"A letter?" Clary finished. "Yes, why...?"

"He gave me one too," Luke sighed.  There was sorrow, pity, regret in his voice. 

"What did it say?" Clary's face lit up. Luke slid his hand in his pocket and produced a folded piece of paper and handed it to Clary. It read,

Dear Luke,

Thank you for being such a great dad. I know that when you read this, I will no longer remember the incredible father you have been to me, but you helped me become who I am, and I am so grateful for that. Say goodbye to Mrs. F. for me, and give Clary a smothering hug, please. I wish I didn't have to lose all the amazing memories of you and Clary and everyone, but I'm happy that you will all be safe. And maybe one day, I will see you again. 

Until then, Simon Lewis

Clary bit her lip, Luke guessed she was trying not to cry. In response, Luke just opened his arms and Clary fell in limply. She gasped quickly, trying to hide her sobs. Luke thought she might say something bitter, but Clary only said, "You really are a great dad." And Luke smiled. 

* * * 

Jace knocked impatiently on the door to Amatis's house several times before it opened. Jocelyn stood in the doorway, slightly disheveled, like she had just woken up.

"I'm sorry to bother you-" Jace began, but Jocelyn only waved a hand saying, "Clary's upstairs, I think." And she let Jace past, to his slight surprise. 

On his way to Clary's room, Jace passed a thoughtful looking Luke, who looked up abruptly, surprised at Jace's presence. 

"Clary's uh..." He started unsurely. 

"It's alright Luke," Jace replied, slipping past him hurriedly. Luke only shrugged, as if to say, if Clary get's upset, it's on you. 

Clary was sitting on her bed, holding her sketchbook, completely lost in thought. Jace had always loved to see Clary work on her art; it was like she was in another world. But now Clary was only flipping through her pages, as if looking for something. 

Jace knocked on the doorframe, and Clary looked up, startled. 

"Jace," she breathed. "Did you, I mean have you seen..."

"Simon sent me a letter." Jace interjected. Clary exhaled nervously. 

"He sent me and Luke one too." Clary replied. "What did yours say?"

Instead of giving her the letter as Luke had, Jace shrugged and replied, "He said he owed me...and that I deserve you...and that he's thankful for all I've done." Despite the talk of Simon, Clary smiled, pleased. 

"I'm proud of you too, Jace." Clary said as Jace moved to sit across from her on her bed." And I'm proud of Simon. I feel like we've all grown in huge ways in the past few months, and some of that must be from all these experiences, but I think it's also because we're getting older. I knew that what Simon was going to do would impact us all, and I think I found it more unfair than good at the time. But now I realize it was what any of us would have done for each other, and that makes me look at it differently now, I think." Clary sighed. She wasn't upset in the way she spoke. She sounded thoughtful and understanding. 

"That was a great thing to do," Jace agreed. "and even if Simon thinks he owes me, he's done more than enough for us."

"Wait are you...honoring Simon?" Clary asked in a slightly mocking disbelief. 

Jace grinned, but only said, "I guess we all really have grown." And with that, he kissed Clary hard.