Reddie Oneshots

reddie eating disorder fic part 3

⚠️trigger warning⚠️

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Eddie paces in his room, head in his hands. He wants food so bad. He wants everything his kitchen has to offer.

Stop it. Stop it. Food is bad. Food is your enemy.

He stops and lies underneath the covers of his bed, maybe the weight of the covers will keep him there, safe from the food in his kitchen and the need to binge. He closes his eyes and takes a big breath. He can hear his mother in the living room and the chatter of a late night talk show.

I'm so hungry.

He closes his eyes tighter and bites his lower lip. He hasn't weighed himself since the sleepover, and he's not going too— not until it's safe to do so. He's running every day and he's memorized the one-hour workout on the VHS. He's currently working out how to add diet pills to his mothers prescription without her knowing, actually she probably wouldn't care.

She hasn't said anything about Eddie's lack of eating, how the trashcan remains empty besides what she eats, only the little popsicle sticks when he really needs them.

Popsicles...

He craves the sugary taste of cherry and how cold it feels against his tongue, how it makes him feel emptier. His stomach growls as his head screams at him— 17 CALORIES 17 CALORIES 17 CALORIES! He starts to get up then feels a fat roll in his stomach and lays back down.

His head hurts so much and his body aches, sore from the constant morning and afternoon exercise. He's always riding his bike with the other Losers, and all he thinks about during those times when his feet are planted against the pedals his how many calories he's burning.

17 CALORIES FOR ONE POPSICLE

He pulls the covers over his head and falls asleep.

-x-

Eddie makes the decision to set a calorie limit because he does need to eat something. He decides on 300 calories a day, and 500 on the weekends, and 800 on the nights when he's hanging out with his friends.

He finds an empty notebook under his bed and writes all of this down with a red marker. He writes his start weight, 137.2, his current weight, which he leaves empty to write down tomorrow morning, and a goal weight-

A goal weight.

He's never really thought about making a goal weight or a stopping point. Then he wonders what people do once they reach their goal weight? He thinks of Richie and his beautiful arms, of Beverly and her perfect face— he touches his baby cheeks.

He thinks of the woman in the video, how enamored he is by her. The number 100 pops into his head and he likes the sound of it. One hundred pounds.

Eddie Kaspbrak. One hundred pounds.

He writes it down and draws smiley faces around it. Then writing, I want to be 100lbs before school starts.

He stares at the writing for a long time, embedding it in his brain and repeating it quietly. "I want to be one hundred pounds before school starts.

He writes down other numbers too, a countdown to his ultimate goal weight. 132, 129, 123, 115, 110, 108, 103, 100.

He turns the page.

~Rules~

1. I will not binge.
2. I will eat 300 calories on weekdays
3. I will eat 500 calories on weekends.
4. I will eat 800 calories with my friends
5. If I go over my limit I will punish myself by fasting for three days with constant exercise and isolation
6. I will not see my friends if I binged
7. I will work out every day
8. I will write down everything I eat
9. I will be skinny
10. I will change