-Try to play the song entitled "SOMEONE YOU LOVED" by Lewis Capaldi while reading this chapter-
Rare's POV
I SIGHED like a slight spring breeze, soft and gentle, almost lost against the drone of the traffic. D-mn it, there's a f-cking meeting that I need to attend but now, I'm late. F-ck Traffic!Napahilot ako sa sintido at pinagalaw ang panga ko bago ko kinuha ang phone ko upang tignan ang mensahe ng sekretarya ko.
My eyes widened as I bit my lips when I saw my beautiful wallpaper. This picture of me and my baby Atarah was taken almost four years ago when we're at the El Nido Palawan.
"How I wish you're still here beside me baby. Your eyes is so warm that it's healing my cold soul, your lips have enough softness to calm me down. I missed you.." I said and kissed the screen of my phone.
Lagi kong ginagawa 'to, hinahalikan ko ang lahat ng litrato niya but ofcourse its just a smack kiss. Nasa katinuan pa naman ako I'll not do the french or pasionate kiss to her picture but yeah still, you find it cringey but I don't f-cking care.
Halos punuin ko ang bahay, office at kwarto ko ng mga litrato niya para kahit sa gano'ng paraan ay maramdaman kong kasama ko pa rin siya.
It's been almost four f-cking years since I lost my two important people in my life. My master Atarah and our baby. I feel like I have lost myself too. I don't think I can become the same person I was four year ago. T-ngina, magaapat ng tanong simula nang mawala sila pero hindi ko pa rin matangap na hindi ko alam kung nasaan sila ngayon.
The pain started years ago, but I'd lived with it for so long at that point that I'd accepted it as an inevitable part of me.
I don't know what to do. I fell in love for the second time a few years ago, and when I lost her I couldn't figure out what to do with myself, I've gotten better but definitely not 100%. I still miss her daily and constantly contemplate texting her number kahit alam kong wala ng magrereply, kinakantahan ko ang mga picture niya knowing very well na hindi naman na 'to magsasalita,yayakapin, hahalikan at lalambingin ako.
I still can't get her off of my mind. Everyone says I should try to move on but it's really not that easy for some reason. Mahal na mahal ko ko siya at ang anak ko hinding hindi ko na kaya pa magmahal ng ibang babae o kahit sino man. Si Atarah lang.
Compare to Akisha, mas minahal ko talaga ng lubos si Atarah. My feelings and Relationship with Akisha was a f-cking puppy love pero si Atarah ang lubos na lubos kong minahal higit pa sa buhay ko o kahit sa kung sino.
I still remember, Tito Anjo told me that they already found Atarah but she has a symtomps of Corona Virus Disease. Gumuho ang mundo ko dahil sa balitang 'yun couz my baby's life is in danger. Tito ask for help, gusto niyang pagaling ko si Atarah pero kahit hindi niya sabihin 'yun ay 'yun naman talaga ang gagawin ko.
Nalaman kong buntis noon si Atarah, and ofcourse sobrang natuwa ako. Gustong gusto kong ipagsigawan sa mundo na magiging dalawa na ang baby ko, Si Atarah at ang magiging anak namin kaya pursigido akong mapagaling si Ath para katapos noon ay mauuwi na sa kasalan.
But when Atatah saw me nagalit at dinugo siya. F-ck I can't explain my feelings that time, Halo halo ang emosyon ko na kinabahan sa nangyari kasi t-ngina delikado ang kalagayan ng magina ko pero wala akong magawa at ako pa ang dahilan kaya nangyari 'yun.
But when Doctor Jom told me that my Atarah and baby was safe matapos duguin ni Atarah nang makita ako. I was so f-cking happy kahit paano naibsan na ang tinik saaking puso.
![](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/184797122-288-k528073.jpg)
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