This is just a bunch of Doctor Who one shots.

Constant Sugar Rush

(13th doctor's diary)

"Doctor, you haven't been yourself recently..."

I turn around to see Yaz leaning against one of the crystals with a worried look on her face. I hate that face. It means I have to talk - not that that is a problem, I love talking, just not about myself. I can't open up to them because then we will be close and they will turn out like the others. Gone. That can't happen to them... But haven't I been saying that about the others? No matter how hard I try I always fail to look after them. I can't keep doing this...

"Don't worry about it Yaz! I'm fine!"

I flash her a toothy smile.

"Where do you wanna go next? I heard of this really cool place on the planet Clom! The aliens are a bit rude but if we make sure not to bump into them and get eaten it will be fine!"

"I was thinking we could all go to your home.."

Graham and Ryan come out from presumably their rooms and join us in the console room. Ryan joins Yaz.

"Yeah! C'mon, you've shown us practically everywhere, but we haven't a clue about who you are!"

I remember my conversation with Martha all those years ago.

"Where's the fun in that for me? I don't wanna go home!"

"Please Doc! Open up a little to us! You can't keep hiding your feeling from us, it's not good for you. When was the last time you went home anyways? Certainly not with us.."

Beat. When was the last time I went home? Must of been eyebrows, and even then I wasn't really paying attention. Now it's gone and I never got to say goodbye. I stare at the console, unable to look at them, tears threatening to fall from my face. It was my fault - each and every time, I am the reason it's gone. I truly am the destroyer of worlds.

"I-I can't take you."

"c'mon doc! Please?"

"I can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because it's GONE! It's BURNT, RUINED and...dead.."

I collapse onto the floor, tears streaming down as I burry my head into my knees, hiding my pain... Like normal.

"I-im sorry... We didn't know."

""We'll give you some privacy..."

Yaz leads everyone out of the room to leave me alone, when really that's exactly what I don't want, what I'm afraid of. I sit in the console room sobbing uncontrolably - like a child. God, I'm such AN IDIOT! why would I let them see me like that? So... Broken. Pathetic. Innocent. No, not innocent. I'm not innocent - no where near. I'm a murderer. Sure, I barely ever have blood on my hands, but I convinced people to take their lives. Manipulated. There really isn't much of a difference between me and the master, I guess that's what Missy was trying to tell me. That we are both just idiots, running, ruining anyone's life who gets in our way. It's just who we are..