The Art of Letting Go

FIVE

THE ART OF LETTING GO
CHAPTER 5- AMBER STEPHENS

CHRIS LAUGHED LOUDLY at what Amber said, "Are you hearing yourself, what the fuck is a lost soul?" then he continued laughing like a madman.

The ghost of Amber sat and looked at him quietly, she didn't know what to say, but it is true. She is the ghost of the late lover of this guy in front of him, it was not something to be accepted easily, so she sat and wait for him to finish.

"I should have listened to my therapist when he told me that I need fucking medications" he muttered, although Amber didn't catch the word that he was saying "you're not real, okay? Get out of my head"

Chris walked away from her, Amber knows where he's going, she knows how he feels and how we thinks, as of the moment, his thoughts are scattered and she couldn't make up what he wants to say.

"Your thoughts are so loud, Chris. Just tell me what you want to tell me" she said trying to keep up with his pace, he turned around "you don't fucking know that, you don't know what is in my head."

Chris was surprised about how mad he is, just a few moments ago, he was crying for her. But now he can't seem to contain his anger.

"I know that you plan on running away from me" she crossed her arms "I do know that you're sad, but you're letting the old feelings get the better of you."

He fell silent and heaved a heavy sigh "okay" he ran his fingers through his hair "then let's start with what the fuck do you want with me?"

She shrugged "I don't know why I'm here too, I couldn't get away from this place, everything was dark and then I saw you."

"Oh you saw me, huh? Then where were you back then, why now?"

"Because I'm stuck! I was always here, Chris. I could hear all of you even if it is dark, I could hear mom and dad, and I could hear you crying every night."

Then in an instant, tears fell on Chris' eyes "then why didn't you come for me?"

"I couldn't, even if I wanted to."

"I fucking missed you, all I ever wanted to do was hold you again and tell you that everything is going to be okay" his shoulders slumped and he could feel his knees weaken "I was here, and I could never save you."

He walked towards Amber and decided to run his fingertips on her cheeks, but it was like touching a smoke or trying to hold your own reflection in the water, her right cheeks began to fade but then slowly formed again.

"I can't even touch you."

"Chris, I never blamed you for anything shitty that happened in my life, because it is not your fault. This is my decision, my consequence."

"Oh yeah, and how is that working out for you?" he paused for a moment "Maybe you should've blamed me" he coldly answered.

"I would never drag you into something that I did myself, you didn't kill me."

Chris fell silent, and in a split-second, everything that happened after Amber died came back to him. He remembered the time where he ran away, looking for something that doesn't want to be found anymore.

He remembered what it felt like to be completely hopeless, and to long for the person that's never coming back... for good.

He was starting to recover, he really was. And it seems like the universe has a funny way of mocking someone who is currently on the verge of healing, he didn't get it, he doesn't know why.

When he looks at Amber, he knows that there was something missing, she wasn't the same Amber whom he loved. She was only someone who longs to stop the pain by trying to find answers on why she's still stuck in the living world.