Say You Love Me

SAY YOU LOVE ME
-song fic-

She does things that makes me all happy; things that I don't even know where it's coming from.

"Yuko-chan, are you alright?" Sashi asked while performing their last Hug-tomo before Yuuchan's graduation.

"Not really." she answered on a pained face. When asked why she said, "Because Nyannyan isn't here."

"Isn't it obvious?" Sashi retaliated with the fact that it's their song, and it's natural that I can't be singing it with them.

"But this song is for Nyannyan and I, right?" Yuuchan reasoned out.

I always thought I am lucky because I'm always on her mind. And with that, I thought that she'll always look at me; that she will always be looking out for me. But time changes everything, that I got lost and confused.

We've been together for more than 8 years. We've been friends, close as we can be even after she graduated. We used to play around with what we have using everything that we can; play with her body, play her with words. Everyone knows how it all started one-sidedly, until the day that I can't fight it anymore, woke up looking for it, asking for more of it.

"I will be lonely, so don't graduate. . . Won't you stay? "Please?"

Those words were the best that my mustered courage could utter back then. I saw the sudden hesitation on her eyes as she smiled my pleading away.

"I, Oshima Yuuko... will still graduate."

It can't be helped, and everything's all ready. It broke my heart but I could only joke it out, giving my best smile as I try to fight the tears that wants to come out.

"WHY? That was just cruel!"

I was hoping that at the last moment she would change her mind for me; up until the time I figure out what I want to do, up until I'm sure of what I want us to be. I had a feeling it won't take me long because she'd be there to help me decide. She'd be there to assure me that what I've decided is the right thing.

"That look again." she pouted as she comes in closer, wearing the matching pyjamas she gave me from her trip. "Can't you just say what's on your mind?"

I blushed and ended up grinning. "Nothing." A sweet embrace landed on my body, head resting comfortably on my chest. "I just... wanna hear something."

"Hmmmn?" I felt her hug tightened as she brushed her face against my skin. "I can sing it for you if you want."

"It's not that." I sighed feeling my heartbeat getting louder. It's getting so loud that I can feel it pounding extra hard. I wanna know something, have her said it face to face.

"Your heart's raging. Something wrong?" She noticed and commented while giving me a concerned look.

I hugged her back tighter. My heart just couldn't keep a secret, beating outrageously like that. I wanna hear it, even just for today. I wanna hear her say my name with it. I need to hear it more than her embrace.

"Nyannyan?" her voice sounds so worried. "I can feel your every heartbeat you know. Can you please tell me what's wrong?"

I sighed, smiled, and shake my head. Our eyes met and words flooded my mind. I love you. I could only shout it out inside the crooked walls of my brain. Please say you love me too.

"Are you scared? I won't be going away. I just graduated." She murmured snuggling further.

"Don't you ever leave me." I muttered. I just couldn't say it. All that I've been thinking of is maybe, maybe she's mine. I just wanna hear her say it, say it to my face. Just... just say you want me.

"There really is something on your mind." She whispered, stroking my cheeks with her fingers. The feeling sends me shivering from holding back my tears. Does she know me at all? "Graduation can't keep us apart. It won't. See?" she smiled and gifted me a light kiss.

I beamed back keeping her within my arms. "Someone told me, love controls everything... but only if you know."

Her palms cupped and warmed my cheeks, bringing my tears to settle down my eyes. I don't wanna cry, but it feels like I can't hold it back any longer.

"Nyannyan... I'm yours." she whispered continuing to imprison my cheeks within her palms. "So whatever that was that you're feeling, don't hold back... even if you're scared. Don't hold back... cause you're not alone."

I ran out of words as my uncooperative tears trailed down my cheeks. "Stay with me... stay with me... please stay with me... don't leave me..." I sniffed embracing her. Please... Say it... Say you love me... I need to hear it... even just for today.

Her thumbs slide against my cheeks, wiping my tears away. "Silly. I will never leave you." She smiled and chuckled. "Even if you don't ask me to stay, I will." Her eyes tells me everything I wanted to know. I couldn't say anything. She huffed and pet me with a warm smile before locking me into her body. "Because I love you. I always do."