The Circle in Escapism

Chapter 1

The rough shaking had led me to open my eyes and witness a scene too real to be one of my dreams, yet too surreal for reality itself. The distorted figure of a panicked nurse briskly walked in front of me, leading the way as a force pushed me from behind. Her mouth moved to form words, yet I could not decipher them as my ears were filled with a loud roaring sound I couldn't identify. My attempts at assessing the situation were impeded by my inability to move a single muscle. I was fully left at the mercy of the external world; however, no matter how daunting it was, there was nothing new about it.

I closed my eyes and let fate decide whether this time, it'll be deep sleep or lucid dreaming. Sleep paralysis wasn't really much of a scare to me anymore. While it had been something that kept me up a lot of nights as a child –usually preceded by a nightmare that would wake me up –I've grown used to it over the years and may sometimes even look forward to it. Fear really does subside when you embrace it.

When I came to, the first thing I noticed was the unusual dryness in my mouth and throat. My dislike for the sensation prompted me to force myself up despite the weakness I was feeling throughout my body. To my confusion, I was met with the all-too-familiar moss green curtains of the school clinic. What am I doing here? I rummaged my memories for answers. Apart from that messy scene earlier, the last thing I could recall was me trying to take a nap during the afternoon break.

Finally picking up the murmurs coming from the front desk, I reached for the curtains and pulled them aside. Two pairs of eyes met mine, one belonging to the nurse on duty and the other to a classmate. Immediately, they walked over and stood beside the bed where I was still seated. "How are you feeling?" the nurse inquired.

"I think I'm doing fine. Why am I here?" Just as I had responded, the question came out of my lips before my mind could even process it.

"You were unconscious."

"But I was taking a nap...?"

"No, I meant that you were unconscious. Unresponsive."

This time, my longtime classmate Quinn spoke from beside her. "We really tried to wake you up, but you wouldn't even stir. It's like...you were gone, except that you were still breathing," he explained, forehead scrunching in seriousness.

So what I saw earlier was only half hallucination.Realization dawned on me as I remembered the paralysis episode a little while ago...? What time is it?! My eyes darted around the room until it landed on the analog clock hanging near the door; it read at around 4:17 PM. About two hours since the last time I was awake.

Quinn seemed to read my bewilderment as he started explaining the rest of the details, while the nurse went back to the front desk and started dialing a number on the landline. "Mrs. Velasco had entered the room and tried to wake you up," he started, mentioning the instructor for the second-to-the-last period of the day. From what he told me, the teacher assumed I simply wasn't feeling well until the end of the class – the only time they found out that I really was unconscious.

After he had finished telling the story, silence enveloped us both as he had turned his full attention to the nurse, who was now talking to someone on the phone; meanwhile, I was left to my thoughts, trying to digest what I just heard. Come to think of it, it's also likely that this guy here was the unlucky one who had to bring me here. The realization made me shift uncomfortably as my conscience urged me to do something awkward for the sake of compensation, though I doubt I can really do much of it.You can do it, Mai. I tried to encourage myself repeatedly. "Quinn?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for your help. And, yeah, uh...sorry for the trouble," I muttered, avoiding eye contact as I felt too embarrassed. Why did I have to faint?! Seriously, he just missed class because of me! He's still not going home because of me! Argh, I really hate-

"Don't worry about it. It's good that you're okay," he responded after a few seconds of stillness that seemed ages to my anxious mind. What caught my attention though was the grin he said it with – genuine enough to make me believe that it really was okay.

The day ended as how it usually would, with me walking home alone as the sun slowly disappeared over the horizon. It wasn't really much of a surprise that the clinic couldn't convince anyone at home to pick me up; after all, in that place, I'm only worth as much as what I can give and as of now, I'm more of a liability being the student that I am. Thankfully, I managed to convince the nurse to let me go, seeing as her shift was also nearing its end at that time. She hesitantly went along, but not without advising me to head to the hospital. I decided not to follow the well-intentioned suggestion, considering that I wasn't capable of paying for it anyway.

Just as I had reached the three-way junction and was about to make a turn to our street, something piqued my curiosity and made me stop in my tracks. The river running alongside the street was the loudest I've heard it, the sound emanating from it quite unusual – it wasn't something you would hear, even during rainy season. But for some strange reason, it felt so...homey to me. I was drawn to it so much that before I even knew it myself, I was crossing the street straight to the grove that led to it. Its harsh tone faded with each step and was slowly replaced by a lullaby that somewhat pulled all the exhaustion within me to the surface, making me feel so drowsy I could barely keep my eyes open. It was consuming me, whateveritwas, yet why does it feel so good?

"...ai!"

When I had reached the top of the gorge, I saw a surreal pavilion on the other side faintly glowing against the darkness of the grove. It compelled me to come to it, as if it were what I've been wishing for my whole life. My gaze wandered to the calm river below and when they returned to the beautiful sight in front of me, a sudden confidence took over me. I can fly there. I know I can.

"Mai!"

Just as my feet had left the ground, I felt something brush against the back of my arm, making me turn midair as I fell. The last thing I saw was Quinn's face, looking at me from where I once stood, eyes widened in horror. 

Author's Note

Hello there! Let me thank you for giving this piece a chance. Constructive feedbacks, reactions, and ideas are welcome so if you have one or a few, I'd be glad to hear them out. :)

Also a little note that this story is uploaded in other sites. This is the reason why I decided to keep my chapters short. Account is linked on my profile in case you want to check. 

Hoping for your continued support in the upcoming chapters!