Loving Chris (TTSPG Book3)

6

"Speak." He spits harshly and I slip my hands into my pockets as he braces the porch.

"I miss you." I immediately say, bracing the opposite wall.

"Is that it?"

"Why is it that you can forgive Dan and not me?"

"Are you serious?"

"I'm serious. I apologized to you-"

"You kissed my brother!" He snaps. "We are so close we are practically related bro and yet you kissed him."

"I know."

"You wanna blame shit on how you were confused and broken and did stupid shit under the influence but let's get real. You were an asshole to someone who deserved so much better than you."

"I know. He has every right to hate me and I deserve it... but you're my best friend. Don't I get a chance at trying to fix this?"

"I have been through almost everything with you." He begins as he stares at me. "The death of your parents, the gang you were in, the death of Levi, screwing teachers and doing random hookups, drug abuse, alcohol abuse... man, I was there through everything."

"I know and I'm-"

"And you were there for me too. You were there when my dad was being a dick. You were there for my stupid shit and the meaningless hookups I had. You were closer to me than my twin and that's saying a lot cause the bond he and I have, is unbreakable."

"Eric-"

"I would have done anything for you. Anything you asked man. I knew you were having a hard time with your sexuality. That shit isn't easy to go through. I told you, you could come talk to me about anything and it was okay to figure out what you wanted and who you wanted to be but I also said not to fuck with him."

"I know I screwed up."

"You screwed up?! You broke him man. And he was already falling apart from the loss of his father."

"I know." I said quietly.

"And I just stood back and watched you because I had that stupid idea that you were coming to terms with your sexuality but I was stupid in believing that because you chose to kiss Dan. You weren't confused, you just wanted to hurt someone as badly as you were hurting. And that's messed up. No one deserves that."

He comes closer to me and I stayed where I was. If he wanted to hit me I'd let him, I definitely deserved it.

"Everyone doesn't set out to hurt you." He says as he presses his palm against my chest. "Everyone doesn't just choose to leave you. You, are the one who pushes them away but you hurt them so badly that they have no choice but to stay that way."

"I-"

"But you wanna know why I really hate you?" He asks, coming face to face with me and staring into my eyes. "I hate you because even when leaving you was the right thing for him to do, it broke him. He has never loved anyone the way that he loved you. It's been two years and he's still not over you. He's family to us now and I swear I'll kick your ass if you hurt him again."

He pushes off from me before heading back in the house and I watch him go. Chris is standing at the door and I don't know how long he's been standing there for but I exhale as he comes towards me.

"I'm sorry." I say.

"He's protective."

"I know. He's always been that way." I push off from my position as I had every intention of leaving.

I knew when I wasn't needed.

"You can stay if you want. We have extra food." Chris says softly.

"I'm not wanted." I murmur.

"I want..." he trails off and I look over at him.

Knowing that I shouldn't but unable to stop myself, I walk over to him and tilt his head to meet my eyes.

"I hate myself for breaking your heart. If I can go back to the past and change who I was, I would."

I gently massage his cheeks, relishing in the feel of his skin once more. Thinking of all the times I made him mine and loving ever second of his breathless moans of my name.

"Damon." He whispers, eyes closed and face leaning into my touch as my hand cups his face.

"Chris." I breathlessly whisper, stepping closer to him and trying my best not to give in.

Give in to my urges of pulling him close so that even air couldn't pass by.

Give in to my urges of kissing him until he was fighting for breath and his lips were swollen.

Give in to the feeling of having his body melt against mine as I whispered over and over how I still loved him and wanted him to be mine.

Instead, with a broken heart and a pained voice, I responded.

"I know someone else could make you happier than I ever could. All you have to do is let them in."

Chris slowly opens his eyes before holding my hand in place on his face just as I was about to release him. I immediately notice my missing ring as it sat perfectly on his finger and I took in a sharp breath as I stared at him.

"Damon."

That's all it took for my resolve to break before I crashed my lips against his.

This was a very bad idea because I was terrified of hurting him again but he was wearing my ring and I couldn't stop myself from tasting him.

He tasted of beer and a hint of some sweet dessert he probably ate and I pulled his body closer to mine as I got lost in him.

The soft moan that escaped his mouth had me squeezing his waist and his hands encircled my neck as he fit himself perfectly against me.

"Damon." Chris whispered as I left my mark from the base of his chin to the underline of his shoulder.

"I love you." I whisper as I found his ear, moaning into it.

Chris pulls away from me and presses himself to the wall as he stares at me.

He's flushed and his chest is moving as his breathing is erratic. He looked a mess and I wanted nothing more than to pull him to me and kiss him until he blacked out from lack of oxygen.

"Chris." I groaned as I lost the battle of will and pulled him to me.

"I... I." He stuttered, his voice broken and sex filled.

"You what?" I asked as I once more kissed the side of his mouth.

"Food."

He pushes off me before readjusting his pants and I stared at him dumbfounded. Ignoring me, Chris heads inside and I don't know whether to follow or not.

Cursing under my breath, I too readjusted my pants before raking a hand through my hair.

Fuck.