MY POV
It's been a week since I've been in that coma, and people are finally letting me get back to normal life. I haven't been to school, and every move I've made has been monitored (If it were up to the doctors and my parents, I'd be staying home for a month). But I just can't sit still, you know? I don't wanna be treated differently anymore. Plus, being home has kinda sucked; my parents literally watch to make sure food enters my mouth, and I actually swallow. I kid you not, I'm not allowed to go into a restroom for at least an hour after I've eaten so that my parents are positive I won't purposely throw it up. Like, seriously, who does that? I get it, I totally asked for this by being a complete and utter moron and endangering my life. And, I know that everyone is only doing what they do because of how much they love and care about me, and it's nice to know that they do care so incredibly much. But, that doesn't make it any easier, or any less annoying sometimes. I just really want life to go back to normal, to go back to the way things were before all of this happened. Things just seem super tense and uncomfortable. I just hope that I can eventually prove to everyone that I can be trusted again. It was my first day back at school, and I felt like I was going to puke; As much as I needed to go back to school, the thought of walking into that building was completely nauseating and I didn't want to face anyone, especially not Brian. Oh, god. The thought of seeing him after what I did for him? I wanted to cry and hide from the world, but I also wanted to beat his ass. Let's just say, I may end up having to be dragged away in handcuffs. Which is kind of ironic, if you think about it. As long as it's not Uncle Jamie who brings me in; I mean, I seriously cannot think of anything more humiliating or embarrassing. Good thing I never plan on getting arrested. Mom dropped me off at school on her way to work. When we arrived at the school, I closed my eyes and took in a deep, calming breath to calm my nerves. I didn't want to do this, because there's no doubt that the story of what I've done has already reached everyone in school, and I'll probably be bullied for it. As if the whispers weren't horrible before, I guarantee that they'll be deafening now. But, I can't let anyone win. I have to show people that I will not be broken down completely. I will always get back up again. "You know you don't have to go back today. You can stay home one more day." Mom said to me, clearly noticing my panic. She's been saying that to me since I told them yesterday afternoon that I wanted to go back to school today. Dad offered to have one of his friends who walks the beat hang out at my school to make sure no one gets into trouble. Because that wouldn't add to my humiliation whatsoever. "I'm joking." He said, when I respectfully asked him if he had lost his mind. And, as much as I actually wanted to take Mom up on her offer, I couldn't. I needed to show everyone that I will not be messed with again, and that I'm a fighter. "I'll be fine. I love you." I said, hugging her. "I love you, too, sweetie." She said as I got out of the car. I blew her a kiss, and she left for work. I sure hope I really will be fine. My body felt like jello and my legs like metal. I urged myself to move forward, but the thoughts weren't making it to my legs. I took one look at the school and all of the kids going into it, and changed my mind. Oh, god. I cannot do this. Nope, nevermind. "Eliza, over here!" A voice called. I stopped dead in my tracks and hung my head. I've been spotted, so there's no turning back now. I sighed. Damn it. I turned around and looked to see Nicky with our best friend since kindergarten, Mariah. I walked over to them and hugged them. I felt so relieved, knowing that I would have my girls by my side today. They give me strength. If anyone messes with me then, at least I have backup and witnesses. "Hey, girl. How're you feeling?" Mariah asked gently as we hugged, the pity clear in her voice. I growled internally. The last thing I need or want is pity. "Uh, could be better, but also could be worse, so." I told her, being honest. I mean, i'm grateful that I'm alive; from what my family told me, it was a really close call and I probably shouldn't be here, but by the grace of God and the talents of the doctors of the hospital, I am. But, at the same time, I kinda wish I hadn't. The next couple of weeks will be a living hell and it's going to take every ounce of strength I have to get through it. But, I will. Just like I always do. She nodded, sensing my confliction. Thank goodness she knows me better than anyone else so I don't have to go into further detail about what I mean. "You guys ready to go inside?" Nicky asked. I groaned. "No. But knowing my luck, if I try to ditch a cop is going to recognize me because of Dad or Uncle Jamie, tell on me, and then I'll be royally screwed." I said. Let's be honest here, if I got caught ditching school, on top of everything else that's going on right now, and especially since I swore I would never do it again? I might as well dig my own grave. Nicky nodded. "Very true." She acknowledge. "Yeah, I would not want people like your family mad at me." Mariah chuckled. I chuckled and rolled my eyes. I mean, yeah. Having my family on your bad side is not a great idea, at all. But I mean, come on; they aren't that bad. Most of the time. I can't deny that we're all quite a force to be reckoned with, especially if we're all working together. I looked at the building, dreading having to go in. I just have to remind myself to just put one foot in front of the other, and take it one step at a time. There's no need to rush, this will take time. I took in one final, calming breath, and then we walked in. My entire body was shaking with fear, and there's no telling what this day will hold. The halls were noisy and chaotic like normal and it actually felt really good. Things felt normal, and I've actually never been more happy to be in school in my whole entire life. And, I'll never probably never be this happy to be in school again, let's be honest. Just hearing everyone carry on and be normal was so fantastic. It made me feel like I had hope. I heaved a sigh of relief, but did so too soon. As soon as everyone saw me, they stopped dead in their tracks, and silenced their voices almost instantly, and stared at me like I was a freaking alien or something. This is one of the most uncomfortable things ever. I wished more than anything that I could shrink to the size of an ant. I leaned into Mariah. "Boy, word travels fast." I whispered into her ear. "You have no idea." She mumbled in mine. "I'm starting to get an idea." I tried to avoid all of the piercing eyes staring down on me, but I also didn't want to draw more attention to myself by trying too hard, so I just walked as casually as I could and kept facing forward. I pushed my shoulders back and held my head up high. I refuse to hide anymore. As terrified as I am, I won't let my peers scare me anymore. I was almost to my first class when... "Eliza! I heard about the great length you went to to go out with me! That's dedication. I will now go out with you." Brian approached me. I may have wanted to go out with this guy a week ago, and I may have even put myself in a coma for it, but give me a break; I am not stupid. And if this guy sets foot in my house he will be murdered. I made my hands into fits and gritted my teeth. Nicky put a hand on my shoulder to calm me down. I think that, for some sick, twisted reason, Brian gets off on doing things like this; he gets off on making girls feel inferior to him and making them beg for his approval, and he knows that most girls will do it, too. He likes that girls swoon over him, and I think he gets off on destroying girl's sense of self worth. And he'll keep doing so unless and until someone finally stops him in his tracks. I could see phones aimed at us through my peripheral vision, and decided on how to handle this. Give him a very small taste of his own medicine. He can dish it, let's see if he can take it. "Oh, Brian. That is so sweet. But, I have a better idea." I said, stepping so close to him we were practically nose to nose. "Oh, yeah? What?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows and biting his lip. This guy seriously thought he was going to get lucky; in his dreams. Which is the only place it would ever happen. I swallowed hard to keep myself from puking in my mouth. I straightened my posture, and I took him by surprise and said "why don't you kiss my ass? My big... Fat... Ass." I went to walk away, but he grabbed my elbow. "What did you just say?" He asked, glaring at me. I glared back at him, just as hard. He was scaring me right now, and the last thing I needed was the principal calling my mother saying that I had been suspended because I got into a fight. But, I wasn't going to back down, not now. Especially not while everyone was watching me. Maybe I need to be the girl who stops him in his tracks, and I have no problem doing so. I looked at his hand gripped onto my elbow, and questioned what on earth I ever saw in this guy. Did I just want him because every other girl (and, let's be honest here, some guys) did? Probably. I really do feel sorry for him. Because, unless he changes, he will never find love. I wanna know who made him like this, who made him so cold. Well, the cycle ends right now, because he won't lead me down that road. I won't be the backlash of his bullying. "You know, one day, I hope that one day you can find someone who loves you for you. Maybe then, you'll stop tearing people down to build yourself up. I don't know why you get off on destroying girls, but you are clearly the backlash of someone else's lack of love. You know that there are girls who would do anything for you, and you play them. Now, let me go before I get Uncle down here." He let me go, stunned. He makes me sick. "Your Uncle doesn't scare me." He said, shaking slightly. I folded my arms and placed all weight on one leg. "Oh, he doesn't, does he? Okay, I'll get my Dad down here." I told him. His eyes went wide, and all color drained from his face. I chuckled slightly. Dad scares people. Though, to be fair, Uncle Jamie can get pretty scary himself. It was about time that someone shut him up and, clearly, I did just that. "That's what I thought. Come on, girls." As we walked away, people were clapping and cheering me on. It felt really good to stand up to that son of a bitch. I was really proud of myself, and definitely felt more ready to face the day. "Way to go, girl." Mariah said, the approval clear in her voice. "How do you feel?" Nicky asked. I cleared my throat. "Like I might vomit." I responded. My hands were shaking slightly. I think that's the first time I've ever stood up to someone who was bullying me and tearing me down. But, it certainly won't be the last. I won't stand for it anymore. "Why would you call Uncle Jamie down first instead of Uncle Danny, though?" Nicky asked, clearly confused. I chuckled, shook my head and said "because, while my Dad may have some anger issues and a temper, Uncle Jamie can bring someone to tears with one certain look and tone of voice." "Haha. Truth." She said. Which is so true; Uncle Jamie has this look that just like instantly strikes fear right into you, and sends it pulsing through your veins. Add onto it if he adds this tone of voice he has when he's mad? Forget it, you're done, it's game over. He knows exactly what to say and how to say it to make you feel like complete crap. But, here's the thing; he does not raise his voice at all. His voice stays totally level and sometimes that makes it a thousand times worse. There were definitely times that he got mad at me that I would have preferred he yell at me, it would have made me feel better. "I can't believe you stood up to him. I'm proud of you." Mariah said, putting her arm around me. Yeah, well. That makes two of us. I was so sure that I would just crumble at the sight of that bastard; but instead, I rose up and showed him what I was made of. I showed him that I'm no longer one of the girls that he can push around and treat like dirt, and honestly, I hope other girls will do the same thing. He is someone who needs to be taken down, and while one person can make a difference, this is just one of those things that one person can't do on their own. I gave myself a nice pat on the back for it. "Thanks." I said, I put my hands into fists because I was shaking so bad, it was unreal. It was such an adrenaline rush, I felt so good and so bad at the same time. Is this what it felt every time Dad and Uncle Jamie collared someone? I should totally ask them sometime. I'm sure Grandpa and Pops felt it too, when they were out there. I am so glad I decided to handle it the way that I did for more than one reason; I showed people that I can handle bullies with grace and dignity, I showed Brian that I'm better than he is, and, to top it all off, so many people caught it on video. So, if my family sees, then I won't be in any trouble and I will feel no shame. "That video will be up in two seconds." I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. Mariah patted my shoulder and just nodded. "Yeah, well. I've gotta get to History." Mariah said. "I've got Geography." Nicky said. "And I've got Ancient Greek and Roman History." I said, giddy. I'm a total ancient Greek and roman history nerd, I love that stuff. I know, I'm weird, I do not need to be told (I'm proud of it). And I don't care. It's just such interesting stuff, and I'm so glad that my school offers that class. It's one class that I always look forward to and I actually enjoy doing homework. Plus, I can watch movies like Gladiator for extra credit. It doesn't get much better than that. "I cannot believe you're taking that class." Nicky said, rolling her eyes. She doesn't understand my love for it, and that's okay. "Bite me." I told her. She stuck out her tongue at me, and I stuck my tongue out back at her. Mariah smacked the back of both of our heads. "Will you two grow up? I swear, sometimes it feels like I'm babysitting you two." Mariah said. "Pft. Please" Nicky and I said at the same time. "You're just as immature as us." I told her. She pretended to be shocked. Honest to goodness, we are such goofballs when we get together; we have this saying that God made us friends because He knew no mother could handle us as sisters. Granted, He did make Nicky and I cousins, which, with as close as we are, is the same as being sisters. We all laughed, hugged, and walked away. Standing up to Brian felt really good. But it got me thinking; will I ever find someone who will love me for me? Snap out of it, Eliza; you're only 14 (15 in 3 months.) And I know I'm luckier than a lot of girls, even my own cousin; I have a Dad who's set pretty high standards for what I eventually want in a guy. If my Dad doesn't approve of a guy, if I don't see my Dad in a guy, forget it. But, unfortunately, Nicky sees her Dad, and wants someone that is the complete opposite. She hasn't been the same since her parents got divorced 6 months ago. Of course, it doesn't help that her Dad has pretty much shut her out. He always says he's too busy for her, never makes time for her. I personally think it's a load of BS. He's just not the greatest of guys. Of course, don't ask my father his opinion of my Uncle Jack; he has a biased opinion of him in the worst way possible. Though, to be fair, he didn't like Jack from the beginning. I wish I could be there for her in a bigger way than I am. I wanna help her, be there for her. I wish I could take the pain away from her. I guess the best thing that I can do for her is to just be a friend to her. I know Nicky, and I know that she'll come out of this stronger and a better person. She'll grow from it, too bad she had to grow up so quickly because of this. She felt that she had to be strong for her Mom to help her get through this. Even though I've told her that it's not one person is strong while the other one is a mess; they can both be a mess at the same time and help each other through this. All I know is, they can't do this alone, even though they are trying very hard to do so. I mean, I can only imagine what Aunt Erin must be going through; loving someone so much, enough to have a child with them, only to have them rip your heart out. See, Jack cheated on Aunt Erin on multiple occasions because he felt that she was working too much and she didn't touch him enough. Like, are you kidding me? He worked just as much as her, and if he truly loved her, he would have given it all he had to make their marriage work. This whole situation just bites, but, Nicky and Aunt Erin are so strong and I really admire them for how well they're handling this. Nicky definitely got her fighting spirit from her Mom. But, Nicky will never lack that male role model and father figure in her life. she's got two amazing Uncles, an incredible Grandfather, and a badass Great-Grandfather who are always there for her, they all give great advice and they love her so much. What's funny is, the second either of us start dating, the men in our family will go into Papa Bear mode, especially with Nicky because of everything that happened with Aunt Erin and Jack. And, they'll also protect Aunt Erin from Jack (let's just say that, for his sake, he better not ever come around here again. I'll personally chop off his penis). I walked into my class, sat down, and got my notebook ready. I did my best to clear my head so that I could focus on my classes. What a day it's already been.
DANNY'S POV
Jackie and I got a call about a botched bank robbery that has turned into a hostage situation. I could already tell that this was going to be a very long, difficult day, maybe even a couple of days. Preparing ourselves for the absolute worst, we headed to the scene. There was honestly no telling what we were going to arrive to. When we arrived, I went to go speak to the head of the SWAT Team for an update, hoping to get information about our perps while Jackie went to go speak to the first Officer who was on the scene. Hopefully, one or both guys had useful information for us. People are so dumb, why would you rob a bank knowing your gonna get caught? Oh well, if dumb people didn't exist, neither would my job. When I found him, he was hidden behind a car. I didn't want to be seen by the guy inside and cause more problems, so, I quickly joined him. We don't wanna spook anybody and make matters worse. "What happened?" I asked him as I bent down. "It's a real junkie-with-a-note robbery. They compromised the alarm system, knocked out the video feeds. Then they bypassed the electronic vault." The head of the SWAT Team, John Aims explained as we were both ducked behind the car. Great. These guys really know what they're doing, they're pros. It's not going to be easy finding a trail, but, we'll find one. There's gotta some security cameras that caught them or witnesses that can give a decent description. "Any idea how big the crew is? I asked him. "3 perps. But according to witnesses, two of them bolted, and the van is gone. One of them was shot." I looked at him, slightly surprised. There was nothing about a shooting over the radio. There was either a cop at the scene, or a Good Samaritan shooter who I'm not gonna enjoy locking up. "By who?" "A customer; the one being held hostage. Bank Manager said he's a diamond dealer, licensed to carry. He, in turn, was shot for his efforts." I rubbed my chin, like I always do when I'm frustrated. Someone's been shot, but we don't know where he was shot, or how bad or anything. So, we have a time crunch. We have to get that guy out of there ASAP. At least he's licensed to carry so I won't have to lock his ass up. First crime of the day, at a busy bank in broad daylight. I love this city. "Is he alive?" I asked, hopeful. I mean, if he were dead, he's not exactly much of a hostage, is he? For all we know, this guy is the Robber's playing card; he's keeping him alive hoping that we'll offer him some sort of deal, which we will not. I couldn't lie that it was a little exciting, it's been awhile since I've caught a hostage situation (I can't help it, okay? This stuff just gets my adrenaline pumping.) It's outrageous that people are stupid enough to do something like this, but it's so intense. "Based on what witnesses say we believe so." We believe so. That's not comforting whatsoever. I sighed heavily; I can already tell that this was going to be a long day, and I didn't get my coffee this morning. This should be fun. It's not very often that bank robberies turn into hostage situations, which means that something in that bank went horribly wrong, and there's no telling what we'll find when we finally get into that building. Hopefully, we won't find anyone dead. That's when Jack Condo, the NYPD's best hostage negotiator, approached us, doubled over and keeping low. He and I have worked together a few times, and we definitely have a love-hate relationship and things can definitely get tense when we work together. He doesn't like how headstrong and passionate I can get about the job sometimes and I don't like how he can kiss ass better than anyone else. But, put the two of us together and we'll get the job done. "Hey, Danny." He greeted me. "Hey. Regular Dog-Day afternoon, huh?" I said sarcastically. He rolled his eyes. "Yeah." He sighed, annoyed. It's not a good sign that he's already lost his patience. "Look, do we have any information on the guy inside?" I asked. I mean, come on. We gotta have at least something, right? "The perp or the victim?" "The perp." All due respect, I need to find out as much as I can about our perp before I can even begin to save the hostage inside. If there's any sort of connection between our vic and our perp, I will find out learning about the perp. "Nah. Nothing, Danny. He's not responding. TARU's capturing the phone line in the bank so, if he calls out, he's only going to get us." Condo explained. That's the first bit of good news I've heard all day. "We've got a command center around back. Meanwhile, we've got the place on lockdown, an entry team ready to roll, snipers in position; we're ready to line up a shot." Aims said. "Unless I can talk him out, first." Jack commented. "Yeah, or I lay him out." Aims said. I rolled my eyes. I didn't have time to listen to these two argue. Though, I was with Aims on this; just lay the guy out, end this thing quick and easy, no one else gets hurt. "Okay, well, while the two of you work that out, we got two desperados running around town with guns in their hands. Will you keep us posted on any information you get from the guy inside? It could help us figure out who these guys are." I asked. They're on the run, they have to know we'll be after them and looking for them. If they're smart and know what they're doing, it won't be easy to catch them. But, not to toot my own horn, we will. "You got it, Danny." Jack said. "Okay, thank you." I looked over the top of the car and saw Jackie come this way, also hunched over. Hopefully she got more than me. I want to be able to shut this thing down as soon as possible. "Hey." I said, walking over to meet her. "Hey, so uh, I've got a description of the van and a partial plate. Plus, check this out," She handed me a picture of two guys in jeans in black hoodies. There was a black mark on one of the guys forearm. "It came from a security camera on a building next next door." She explained. "Is that a tattoo?" I asked, pointing to the forearm. "I think so. If we blow it up, I'm sure we can see what it is better." Knowing that we have a description of the van and a partial plate? That's the best news I've heard all day. We can get all that out there and have everyone on the lookout. If we can figure out what the tattoo is, that could be a huge help in figuring out who these guys are quicker. Could be a gang sign or something like that. Just then, from across the street came a lady screaming bloody murder, and she had some blood on her hands. My first thought was that she ran into the robbers and they hurt her, but I couldn't see any wounds on her. "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" One of these sons of bitches slipped up, we got him. And then, we'll get him to roll over on his partners. This was easy, too easy. Regardless, Jackie and I looked at each other, then ran across the street to meet her. I put my hand on the small of her back as she led us to a little restaurant just down the block. The poor girl was in an absolute panic. "It's okay, it's alright." I said, trying to calm her down, at least a little. The last thing we wanted or needed was her fainting from hyperventilating. Hey, I'm not kidding when I say it's happened before, I've seen it happen a lot of times in my life so I wouldn't be surprised. When we walked in, I said "Where is he? With the gun?" Everyone pointed to the bathroom. They were all hidden behind the counter, which was probably the smartest thing to do. Jackie got on the right side of the door, and I got on the left. We had our guns ready. My adrenaline kicked in, my heart started racing, and I began to sweat a little. It's such a rush when you're about to kick down a door and bust a bad guy. I'm not gonna lie; kicking down doors is one of the most fun things about this job. Come on, you kick down a door and tell me it wasn't a blast. We nodded at each other, I mouthed "1, 2, 3." Then I kicked the door open and we aimed our guns, ready to fire. But, it was pointless. The guy was sitting on the toilet, gun in hand, blood coming out of his mouth. I let out a breath, frustrated because as of right now, this guys was our only lead and hope to getting informed on the guy inside. But the coward blew his friggin brains out. To top all of that off, I know this kid. Well, I mean, not exactly personally but, I have collared him a few times. And he is as much of a pro as you can get, how he screwed up so much is beyond me. Guy's been pulling off heists since he was 10 and only got caught the first time when he was 23. "Well, now we're down to hunting one mutt." Jackie commented. I pulled out my cell phone to snap a picture. "Yeah, well, he died with a gun in his hand. His mother will be proud." I said sarcastically, taking a picture. This kid's Mom was a gangster and raised him in that life so, he has never really known any other life. I'm not making excuses for him, because you make your own life but, it is kinda sad, I gotta admit. I threw up in my mouth a little, I can't believe I just said that. "Wait, you know this guy?" Jackie asked, sounding a little exasperated. "Yeah, Vinny Vario. He's been pulling heists since he was 10 years old." I told her. I tried so hard to help him get off this path, I don't him it was gonna end like this. But, he saw nothing wrong with his actions and didn't want help so, there wasn't a damn thing I could do. "Do you know who he was working with?" Jackie asked me. "Nope. But I know someone who does. Why don't you sit tight, feed me anything that happens alright? I gotta make a date." I said, walking. Vinny never works with the same crew twice, which is partly how he managed to not get caught for so many years. "Wonderful, and this is my date." Jackie said sarcastically. I smiled at her, then left. Yeah, I always kind of give Jackie the short end of the stick but, she's usually a pretty good sport about it. If she doesn't wanna do something, she will let me know. I called a Confidential Informant of mine and told him to meet up with me. I drove to the agreed on location and we didn't leave our cars. He might have "cleaned up", but I'm still not trusting him enough to leave the safety of my car. But if anyone knows who Vinny was working with, it was him. He was a notorious bank robber back before I busted him, and he's worked with just about everyone. "This important?" He asked me. I pulled up the picture on my phone. "Ran into a friend of yours today. He looks like crap." I said, handing him the phone. He chuckled. "You know, he actually looks better dead." I have to try to pretend that wasn't the funniest thing I've heard all day. "Yeah, you got any idea what he was up to?" "He came to me about a month ago, said he was looking to put a team together. Asked if I would join." "Why'd he come to you?" "Wanted to bring me out of retirement." He smiled proudly. "Oh, and you don't give me a heads up? Let me know something might be going down?" I said, annoyed. I mean, that's sort of what a C.I. is for. The only reason his ass is no longer locked up is because he agreed to be my confidential informant, in an attempt to prevent things like this from happening again. If he doesn't do his job, I won't hesitate to lock his ass up again. "I ain't got no crystal ball. At least 20 jobs get planned for every 1 that happens. Besides, crime prevention is your job, not mine." I groaned internally, I am so not in the mood for excuses. "Do you know who he was working with? Any names come up?" "No. Though he did say that the guy who brought him the gig was new." "You're saying Vario was working with an Ametur?" "Seemed that way to me." That really, I mean really caught me off guard. I have never heard of Vario working with an ametur, he had this thing of only working with the best of the best, people who knew what they were doing and could get in and out in 5 minutes. There was some slight humor to the situation; the one time he works with someone who really doesn't know what they're doing, and he winds up dead and bloody. "Looks like that came back to bite him in the ass. You're good to go." I sat there thinking for a minute. If this guy was an ametur, that means he probably messed up, but he's going to be difficult to find information on, since I doubt he'll have any priors. It makes me wonder why he did it. I called Jackie and told her to meet me back at the precinct. We gotta meet up and exchange the information we gathered up, and out the pieces together.
MY POV
The rest of the day was a struggle. At lunch, I sat alone. Mariah and Nicky offered to sit with me, but I turned them down. I just didn't really want anyone around me right now, socializing just didn't sound appealing right now. After my last period I went outside to wait for Nicky. I sat under a tree in front of the school. I kept thinking about what happened to me in the hospital when I was out cold; when Uncle Joe appeared. I was obviously dreaming, right? There's no way I actually spoke to him. He's dead, and has been for almost two years. But, it felt so real, so vivid. I couldn't shake the feeling that somehow, it was real. At least I finally got to say goodbye to him; hopefully that'll help me to finally move on. Though, I don't know if I ever will completely move on. Is that good or bad? I don't know. But, I still cannot remember for the life of me think of what letter he was talking about. And, I had no idea where it was, or where to even try looking. I'll look for it when I get home. People were staring at me left and right, whispering behind books and phones. The whispers were deafening and I just wanted to run away. "Why don't you all take a picture? It'll last longer!" I yelled. Everybody turned their heads away from me, chuckling. "That's what I thought." I mumbled. I wanted Nicky's cute little butt to get out here so that I can get out of here. I looked at my watch; it was 15 minutes after the end of day bell rang. Where is Nicky? I just wanna go home. I tried calling her. Right as I was about to leave her a voicemail, she came out of the school. "What took you so long?" I asked, irritated. "I had to talk to a teacher about extra credit." She said casually. God, she is such a nerd. Seriously, why would you do more school work than you have to? The homework teachers give us is painstakingly enough and I don't know about you but, I'm perfectly content doing the bear minimum. After school everyday, we either walk over to Aunt Erin's firm, and then stay at Aunt Erin's house until my Mom or Dad (usually my Mom) get off, or, Nicky and I would wait at my place until one of my parents got home, because it wouldn't be too long after me. The first is what we're doing today. Mom might actually beat us home today (it was her half day). We walked over to Aunt Erin's firm and waited for her to finish up what she was doing. As we pulled into the driveway, Mom texted me saying she was about 15 minutes away, and to tell Aunt Erin thanks again. "Mom says thanks, again, Aunt Erin." "No problem. Don't forget about coming over to your Grandpa's tonight." She responded. "Yeah, we'll be on our way as soon as she gets home." "Okay, bye." Aunt Erin said, driving off. I went inside and straight up to my room. I needed to find the letter Uncle Joe was talking about or else I was going to go insane. I grabbed a cardboard box where I kept things that were important and had meaning. I found some yearbooks, my first dance costume (I essentially had to choose between dancing on singing, and I was better at singing and more passionate about it), and a couple of birthday cards. And then I saw it. An envelope with my name on it written in Uncle Joe's hand writing. I shakily grabbed the envelope, went over to my bed, then opened it. "Eliza, I know you're struggling with self esteem right now. We've all been where you are, even your father, believe it or not. You need to know that I believe in you. You are beautiful; and I know you can handle what life throws your way. I won't always be with you physically, which is why I hope you'll keep this letter. I'll be damned if I let you beat yourself up. Your heart of gold, loyalty, and realness are so hard to find these days. No matter how hard things get, or hopeless it seems, you can't give up. Always remember that God gives the hardest battles to His strongest soldiers. Keep your head up, girl. You got this. I love you." It's dated a week before he was killed. I gripped onto the dog tags, curled up into fetal position, and cried hysterically for about 5 minutes. I wish I could believe in myself the way Uncle Joe did. I bet he's really disappointed in me. And the fact that this was dated a week before he was killed, and how he mentioned that he wouldn't always be here physically left me so uneasy and with this feeling of having a giant rock in my stomach. This, feeling and this pain, it's almost the exact same pain I felt when Joe died. Right now, I really want to die, but at the same time, I don't. Life just throws so much bullshit my way, I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have tried so hard to keep looking for it, but, I give up trying to find it. But, I have to believe it's there, kick ass and move forward. I have to remember to be strong in the moments when it would be easier to be weak, to fight harder than I ever have each time. Still, the mental pain I was feeling was overwhelming and disorienting and I needed something to take it away. I've heard of people cutting themselves with knives. But I don't like knives. I had a lighter in my drawer. I was so desperate for a distraction I was willing to give it a shot. I walked over to my drawer and took out the lighter. I stared into the flame for a second; fire is actually has kind of a deep meaning, if you think about it; it burns so bright and goes out so fast, but it gives light to other. I took in a deep breath as I placed the flame on my arm. It scared me at first touch, but it felt good. It was taking my mind off of my mental pain, and it was almost a relief. God, I am so incredibly screwed up. Like, seriously, what the hell has happened to me? Whatever happened, it was like a light switch. I put a few more burns on my arm, and I could feel more relief with each burn. I soon realized that Mom would be home in 5 minutes. Keeping these covered from her, especially with her being a nurse, won't be easy. But, I have to. I don't want anyone finding out about this. Plus, my parents have enough stress as it is. I put on a pair of black skinny jeans, a white tank top, and a pink, white, black, and blue aztec print cardigan. I was going to have to keep my arms covered from here on out. The clothes on the fresh burns did hurt a little but, I'm sure I'll get used to it. I quickly went through my backpack and took out all the books that I didn't need for homework tonight, because what's the point in carrying around books that you don't need? I heard the door downstairs open for a second, and at first, I felt super nervous. But then I remembered that she won't know as long as I keep covered and act normal. Well, my normal. I don't want to be normal, if you call me normal, I legit get insulted. However, I don't think anyone has ever called me normal, so. "Eliza, let's go! We're hanging out at your Grandpa's tonight, remember?" "I'm on my way down!" I called back. I put the letter in my backpack, and went downstairs and into the car. It was definitely an insane first day back at school. If today was an indication on how the rest of the school year is gonna go, I'm so screwed. At least it's my last year of Jr. high. "So." Mom said as I got in. "So, what?" I asked, slightly nervous. No doubt she's going to ask me how today went and, honestly, I'm not sure I know how to answer. "There's a video of you online standing up to Brian Moore." She said. I was waiting for more. So, when she didn't say anything else, I said "and?" She shrugged her shoulders, keeping her eyes on the road. "Anything to say for yourself?" she asked. I had a very confused look on my face. Because I was majorly confused. It wasn't like I threw punches at the guy, or even raised my voice. I was civil for being a Reagan, or for anyone I think. I wanted to do so much worse to him. If I had done what I wanted to, he would no longer be a boy, if you know what I mean. "Other than I was a harmless baby kitten compared to what you guys would have done to him?" She laughed and put her hand on my knee. "I'm just kidding, Eliza. I'm very proud of how you handled that, sweetheart." I put my hand on my chest, I think I need electric shocks, now. You know how when they rub those two things together then shock people back to life? I'm two seconds away from needing one. If you guys had heard her, she used her Mom voice and that's scary. "Geez, Mom. Give me a heart attack, why don't you?" "What? Come on, I'm a Mom. I gotta have some fun somehow." Well, then, how about you and Dad go away for a night instead of torturing your daughter? Just an idea. "You can be so mean sometimes." I told her. "Oh, I'm mean? Well, we could send your father to have a chat with him." "No, stop." I laughed. Oh, god. That would be awful! Brian would flee the state. "Okay, I promise I'm done." "Let's just go to Grandpa's." I chuckled, resisting every urge to roll my eyes. I love her, but she can be a brat. "Sounds good."
DANNY'S POV
I met Jackie back at the precinct, and she looked freaked out. To be fair, I didn't give her much context; all I said was that I had some important news and I needed her to meet me back at the precinct right away so, that was probably my fault. "What's going on?' I asked her. "So, Condo was talking to our perp in the bank, trying to get him to let the hostage go. Condo said that they needed to discuss the injured hostage, and the perp said "Don't worry about him, he's definitely not likely." She put emphasis on the last two words. As cops, we say "not likely" If someone isn't likely to die, and "likely" if they are. Only cops use that kind of lingo. I looked at her, baffled. "Are you sure that's what he said?" I asked her. "Yeah, 'not likely'. As in not likely to die. You ever hear anybody but a cop say that?" 'No. Only in this job do we use a negative to describe a positive. Alright, so he uses police jargon." I sighed. I had this dull ache in the pit of my stomach. The last thing that I wanna think or believe is that the newbie is, or was, a cop. Don't get me wrong, I know that there's dirty cops out there, I've had to take down a few of them. I just don't want this time to be one of those times, you know? "And the negotiator, he was all over him, like he knew script or something." Jackie commented. "Right, like he'd been on the job. Then there's what my C.I. told me." I said. My stomach dropped as reality hit me and I realized who we were dealing with. Dirty cops make my stomach churn more than any other criminal; because cops are held to a much higher standard to the general public, and certainly higher than criminals. It's not that hard to live up to the expectation of a cop, because all that that requires is being a good, decent person. "What'd he say?" Jackie asked. "He said that the guy Vinio was hooking up with was new to the business." She scoffed. I could tell by the look of shock and disgust on her face that she was thinking the same thing I was. Course, with all the pieces being put together, I don't know who else it could be. "You know, I hate to say this, but-" "You can say it, our perp is a cop." I said with an exasperating tone of voice, rubbing my eyes with frustration. "Let's get back to the bank." Jackie said. I put my hands on my hips and rolled my eyes. "Yeah." Who knows, maybe now we'll be able to coax him out a little easier. Or, this new information could make our job 10x harder. Guess we'll see. When we arrived at the scene, Jack looked a lot stressed, and a little hopeful. "For the love of God, tell me you got something." He asked. I can't believe I have to say this. "Well one of the perps was Vinny Vario." I told him. "Really? Huh, I didn't know he was still doing heists." "That makes 2 of us." I said. Vinny hasn't gotten into any trouble in like 2 years. It's like he was just laying dormant, waiting for the perfect time to strike. Instead, he worked with a rookie to wind up dead. If this guy really is a cop, I wanna believe that he felt he had a good reason. We should take it easy on this guy until we know more. "What's really interesting is that Vario was working with a rookie, someone totally new to the game." Jackie told him. He closed his eyes tight and scrunched his nose up. "I feel really sick for thinking what I'm thinking." Again, that makes two of us. Do you really think I like the fact that my first thought was a corrupt cop? First and foremost, they're brothers in blue. I'm not gonna great this guy any ordinary criminal; I don't know who he is or what his situation is, but I guarantee that the last thing he needs is to be treated like that. "Yeah, tell me about it. We got a name on this guy, yet?" I asked, hoping to be able to put more of the puzzle together. "He said Ishmael. I'm going to try calling in again, see if I can use this information to get him out Here's a headset." He said, handing it to me. I was trying to think long and hard if I knew any cop by the name of Ishmael, but nothing came up. Dad or Jamie might possibly know. The phone rang twice before Ishmael picked up. (What?) He sounded terrified, and he way out of breath. "Ishmael, I just got some news, and now I kind of think we're all on the same side here." Condo started. (Why's that? Are you a bank robber, too?) "No, but you're on the job. Or you were. Isn't that right?" The other end of the line went silent, I was so sure that he had hung up. Except I didn't hear that click. I nodded at Jack, telling him to keep going. "So we need to work together to get you out of there in one piece. That's what you want, and now that's what we want." We heard him take a few deep breaths, then he hung up. Well, we don't need anymore confirmation than what just went down that this guy really is a cop. I sighed and rubbed my eyes in frustration. It's never a pleasant experience having to lock up a cop, someone who was once a good man. But, that's what I'm gonna have to do today. I hate having to explain that to my wife and daughter. How would you feel if you had to tell your kid that you, a cop, arrested another cop. I have to try to remember to not let my emotions get in the way. Right now, the important thing is not that a cop is our perp; it's that that cop has an injured hostage that we can't get him to release. I know I won't be able to but, I at least have to try. "We heard people behind us greeting "Commissioner, sir." And I groaned internally a little. It always makes me so nervous when he's around. I know it shouldn't because he's my father, but he's also my boss. Sure enough, we turned around and saw my Dad approach us. "Lieutenant, what do we know?" Dad asked Jack. To be honest, I'm surprised it took this long for the news to reach him. "Well, sir, we think he may be a cop." He told him. "Based on?" Dad asked, trying to hide a look of disgust. It's always a blow to him when he finds out about a corrupt cop on his force. But I know he'll push down his emotions and think through this situation logically. It's one of his insane talents. "He seems to know the negotiating script better than any civilian. Also-" "He also referred to the injured hostage as 'not likely', and who besides a cop would do that? Thinking we should let ESU know it's one of our own." Yes, I know this guy's a perp. Yes, I know he's a bank robber with hostages. But, he's a cop, and I don't think we should treat this like any normal situation. This is different. "We will stick with standard procedure." Dad explained. "Jack, would you excuse us?" He said, and pulled me aside. I knew that he was about to lecture me about how we can't give this guy special treatment, how we need to send a message to the public that, no matter who you are, crime is not going to be tolerated in this city. And I agree, somewhat. I'm just saying that I've got a gut feeling that we can get this to end peacefully. "I'm just sayin, there's no reason to let a cop-" "If a Priest messes with a kid, is he any less guilty because of his calling?" Dad asked. "No, sir." "Do you respect his Bishop if he uses his position to protect the Priest?" Okay, that is not the same thing. "I'm just-" "Danny, whether he is or was a cop is irrelevant. Right now, he's a bank robber with hostages, and Jack Condo is my best hostage negotiator. This is his show, understood?" Why can't Jack and I work together and make the right calls for this to end without anyone else getting hurt? Plus, I don't like when other people are in charge of things because, not to toot my own horn, but no one can run things as smooth as I can. Except Dad. "Yes, sir." I said, not attempting to hide my frustration and annoyance. I don't know how he can be so calm and cool about one of his own turning their back on him. If we don't treat this situation a little bit more delicately than normal, it could end very bloody. I know I don't know the guy but, if I just had a chance to talk to him, I bet I could get him to release the hostage and surrender without any further injury. I looked over my shoulder as Jackie was walking over to us. "Excuse me." She said to my Dad awkwardly. Even though he's my Dad, she still gets really nervous when he's around and make sure she does everything the exact way she's supposed to. Dad turns up and suddenly everyone has a stick up their ass. It's a little uncomfortable. "They blew up the photo from the security tape, the tattoo." She said, handing it to us. Dad and I looked at the photo. The tattoo said "Bella Horrida." That was completely foreign to me, it didn't ring any bells at all. "Bella Horrida? What's Bella Horrida?" I asked, thinking out loud. It wasn't a gang tattoo, because those are symbols. Course, a corrupt cop wouldn't necessarily have a gang symbol tattooed on him. "It's a Latin phrase from Virgil; Bella Horrida- Horrid Wars." Dad said, looking uncomfortable and on edge. Dad was looking straight ahead, and you could feel tension radiating from him. He knew exactly who this tattoo belongs to, and it's killing him. I could tell by the look on his face that he was blaming himself for everything that was going down. "What? What is it, Dad?" I asked him. Jr took in a deep breath through his nose, and let it out out through his nose. Without saying a word, he just walked away. Well, geez, thanks for filling us in Dad. It's not like knowing what you know would help us out or anything. This is probably one of those situations he calls "need to", meaning hell only tell us what we need to know, when we need to know it. Seriously though, if he knows who the guy is, I would really appreciate it if he would pass the news along. I don't know, maybe he's just going back to his office to try and confirm? Anyways, the mystery of his identity has deepened, and I'm itching to solve it. So, let's get to work. "On another note; they found the van." Jackie said. That's good, that's really good. We could easily get DNA from that and hopefully get matches and narrow down our list of suspects. "Great, let's go." We headed to the location of the van. CSU was already crawling all over the van, and my hopes were high. "Hey, anything?" I asked a guy from the CSU. I'm really hoping they found something, anything to help us. "Beautiful day outside Detectives; people are using sun visors. That's always the one place people never think to wipe. We pulled a gorgeous thumbprint off that one right there." He explained. I really don't necessarily care where on the van they found the prints, just as long as they got us prints that we can actually use. I know it can usually take a day or 2 to get the results of DNA tests back but, that's time that, it seems as usual, we don't have. We need these back ASAP, they need to take priority. "Great, can you expedite that for us?" I asked. The sooner we can get DNA, the sooner we can hopefully put a stop to all of this. And preferably without any more injuries and no deaths. "Course. Also, check this out. A receipt for a cab to the general hospital." That could be a huge help. If he's still there, we can get him to flip on the other members of his crew. We can figure out what the hell was going through that cop's head when he brought these guys the job. I can't think of anything, anything that would warrant turning your back on the uniform, on the eternal brotherhood that is the NYPD. "Great, maybe he's there." Jackie said. He might be there, he might not. But, we still don't know what his name is. Not to mention that he probably used an alibi at the hospital. Okay. I figured at this point, the best thing to do would be to go back to the precinct and see what we can dig up. "Yeah, let's go back to the precinct." I said, sighing. I'm just annoyed and tired and frustrated. I mean, until we get the name of this other guy, I'm not sure how much further we can go with this investigation. Regardless, we headed back to the precinct anyways. "We're gonna get this guy, Reagan." Jackie said to me. I scoffed. I know we will. I just don't know how good I'm gonna feel about locking up a cop. "I know. Just don't know if I want to." I told her. "What the hell does that mean? He's got an injured hostage, Reagan." She said to me slowly, as if I didn't know that. "Yeah, I get that." I said, a little agitated. I don't know, okay? I just don't know. We'll just head to the precinct and see where things go from there. That's about all we can do. Driving back, I just kept thinking about the injured hostage. Is he alive? Dead? How bad is he hurt? Where is he hurt? The guy is probably scared out of his mind. Because I don't care how brave you are or how often you see them, when there's a gun to you and you got nowhere to go, it's scary. I took another deep breath as we pulled up to the precinct, my home away from home. Alright, time to hit the ground running. Let's do this. What exactly it is we're looking for, I have no idea. Guess we'll know when we find it. When we walked in, everyone was giving us a sideways glance. The department is like a small neighborhood; word travels fast. "Shouldn't you guys be at that bank?" One of the rookies said. "Shouldn't you be minding your own damn business?" Jackie told him, taking the words right out of my mouth. I bit my cheek to stop myself from busting a gut. I put my gun in my desk, took off my jacket, and sat down. I don't know how long we'll be stuck here, so I might as well get somewhat comfortable. "So, what exactly is it we're looking for?" Jackie asked. "Hell if I know." I told her, shrugging my shoulders. I just put Vario's name in the system and just began looking around. Though, I didn't find anything that I didn't already know. "How about I make some coffee?" I said to Jackie. I friggin need caffeine right now. Get my energy going. "Ugh, please." So, I walked over to the machine and started a brew. I leaned up against the wall and rubbed my eyes. I'm just hoping above all hope that we can get this taken care of before it gets any worse. If that's even possible. I was waiting for the coffee to finish brewing when my phone rang. "Reagan." "Yes, Detective Reagan. This is Walter Haws from CSU. We got a hit on the DNA recovered from the Van. A Kevin Moran." I felt my heart skip a beat. This is great news. It's one more step in the right direction. "Kevin Moran? That's great. Thanks." I hung up and went straight to Jackie, completely forgetting that there was coffee in the machine. I just had to get the news to her. "Kevin Moran." Was all I said, sitting back down at my desk and typing away. "Huh?" "Kevin Moran, one of the other perps. Let's go back, try to find a connection between these 3 guys." "First things first, let's figure out if he's our cop." Jackie said. Right, good point. I ran his name through the NYPD system and came up with nothing. At least that tells us that he isn't our cop. Still doesn't narrow down who our cop is. I mean, there's around 35,000 cops on the force. "Alright well, let's keep looking, I guess." Jackie said. As far as looking up Moran, that was easy enough. Finding a connection between him and Vario, that was a lot more difficult. I looked at everything, from old neighbors to classmates to gangs. Nothing. I mean, neither of them are clean by any means necessary. But one is from Brooklyn, the other is from Washington Heights. Everything from schools to grocery stores or where they fill up their gas was completely different. I don't know where we're going with this. We were looking for about 30 minutes, and we kept hitting dead ends when Dad called me. Hopefully he's got something for us. Cause we got squat and it's starting to get on my nerves. "Yeah, Dad?" I answered, trying not to be too hopeful. "Do you have any intersection on our perps, yet?" He asked me. "So far, nothing." I started to tap my pencil on my desk. I was trying not to get too frustrated with myself, but, it's really hard not to. "Well, take another look at the bank robbery charge on Vario's rap sheet. Who were the arresting officers?" I hadn't even thought of looking at the bank robbery sheet. Stupid, I know. I guess I just didn't think it would give us any clues. Don't patronize me, okay? It's been a long ass day. I pulled it closer to me and began to read through it. "Let's see, Flood, and..." I trailed off as I felt the wind be knocked out of me and my heart drop to my stomach. Please, for the love of god, tell me it's not him. There's no way our perp is him. Could it? No, he's better than that. "Billy Flood." I whispered. I sighed a deep sigh and rubbed my forehead. "You think?" I asked Dad. Billy Flood used to be a really good friend of the family. He's a good, strong Catholic. He's a family man and he wore the uniform with such pride. That was, until he wrapped his car around a pole in broad daylight due to being drunk. He became recluse after that. I haven't spoken to him in years. Almost no one has. "I hate to say it, but yeah. I talked to his ex wife, I may even have a motive. His 8 year old daughter needs a heart transplant, but he has no money, and no insurance." Damn. If a dying child, your dying child isn't a motive to go rob a bank, I don't know what is. I can't say that if the situation was reversed, and Eliza needed a life saving operation, that I wouldn't do the exact same thing. Now I'm really not gonna feel good about locking him up. "I'll leave you to it to hand it over to Condo." Gee, thanks, Dad. Why do I gotta be the bearer of bad news? "Alright." I said. There's no point in fighting him right now. After that, we just hung up. "Alright, Jack. Listen, I know the cop who's in the bank. He's an old friend. His daughter needs a heart transplant, and he has no money and zero insurance." I said, updating her. She scoffed. "Are you kidding?" She leaned back in her chair and put her hands behind her head. She shook her head. "You know, Reagan, I'm not gonna feel good at all about locking him up, now." "I won't, either." I said, putting my elbows on the desk and rubbing my eyes. "I mean, if I was in the same position." She said. "I know. Let's go, anyways." I grabbed my gun and my jacket, and we headed back to the scene.
MY POV
When Mom and I got to Grandpa's house, we all sat down on the couch to watch some T.V. We usually watch the news around this time of day, because the adults say that it's always good to know what's really going on in the world. We aren't sheltered, that's for sure. When the T.V. was turned on, it was already on the news, and it was covering a bank hostage situation. I will never understand why people rob banks. Like, seriously, you really think you won't get caught? Dumbasses. "Lead Detective, Police Commissioner Frank Reagan's son, Daniel Reagan has the name of 2 of the 3 perps. One he found dead in a restaurant." The news reporter said. "Oh, my word." I said. Who knows, maybe he ate his own gun? Maybe one of his allies shot him? This is already so intense and insane. Mom, Erin, Nicky, Pops, and I were watching it all on live T.V. After a few minutes, the reporter announced that the identity of the 3rd perp, the one inside, had been revealed; his name was Billy Flood. Why did that name sound familiar? I hadn't heard that name in years, but I'm almost positive that I know that name. Pops slowly stood up, and we all stood up with him. I could tell by the look on his face that he knew this guy, and it was obvious that something bad went down with this guy. He muted the T.V. and began to speak. "Billy Flood was one of the best." He began to explain. Looking at Aunt Erin, he said "your father hand picked him for his unit." Then he went back to looking at the T.V. and talking to everyone. "They were all young, all single, expert marksman." "Sounds more like the foreign legion than a police unit." Aunt Erin commented. "Well, it was crack cocaine days, we were fighting a war. Their job was to go after the worst of the worst. They had no set tours, could use any weapon they wanted; basically, it was shoot first and ask questions later." I had no idea that a police unit like that even existed. Pops seriously allowed that? That's insane. "And these were the good guys?" Aunt Erin asked, amazed. Pops ignored that comment. I can't say I disagreed with her. "The stress got to Flood, started drinking; we sent him to The Farm twice. Then one day, in broad daylight, on-duty, he wraps his car around a pole on 5th avenue." "He was drunk?" Nicky asked. Even though it wasn't really a question so much as it was a comment for clarification." "Yeah. Yeah, drinking on the job was a huge problem back then. I had to set an example, so I terminated him. I didn't think I had a choice. But now," He turned back to to the T.V. "I'm wondering if I'd handled it differently..." He trailed off. That explains the look on his face. He blames himself for this, for what's happening right now. I highly doubt that even if Pops hadn't terminated him, this would never have happened. "There's no way you could've known, Henry." Mom said. "I pray to God no officer dies today." I commented. "Nicky, Eliza, why don't you guys go into the kitchen and get started on your homework?" Aunt Erin said. "Oh, come on, Mom." Nicky whined. I really don't think now is an appropriate time to do homework. "Let them stay. They wouldn't be able to focus, anyway." Pops said. Ain't that the truth. We all sat back down, on the edge of our seats, biting our nails. Well, Nicky was biting her nails. My leg was fidgeting. I felt like I was watching some low-budget Hollywood film. Or I was asleep and this was one of those nightmares like in The Wizard Of Oz, where you wake up and everything's fine. Either way, there was a lot of unknowns and fears spread around. I'm obviously most worried about my father but, I didn't want Billy to die, either. Whatever he's going through, whatever he's done, I don't think he deserves death. We continued watching in horror, and I'm 99% positive that we all said a silent prayer.
DANNY'S POV
I ran back to the bank, hoping for some good news. Any good news; he let the injured hostage go, he gave up. Anything. But at least now, I can really talk with him, I can communicate with him. I know this guy and, more importantly, he knows me. "Anything?" I asked Jack, actually feeling somewhat hopeful. "Zippo. Trying to get him to let the injured hostage go." He shook his head. That's what I was afraid of. I saw a picture of a little girl on the table. That must be his daughter? His reason for going completely nuts and ruining his life. "That his daughter?" I asked. "Yeah, we got it off the ex wife." I had a feeling that the picture might come in handy later on, when it comes to talking Billy out peacefully so, I folded it up and put it in my shirt pocket. "Look; you know, I knew this guy." I began. If I can get Jack to sort of let me take over, I can end this. Fast, too. "Yeah, I heard he was the real police." "Yeah, when cops tell ghost stories, it's SIU they're talking about. Why don't you let me talk to him?" These guys were the toughest of the tough, I mean, they were insane. Wish I could have been one. He rolled his eyes. "Come on, Danny. You know we discourage 3rd party intervention." "I know the protocol-" I tried talking over him, but he was actually louder than me. "We will lose control of the situation. Let me do my job, thank you." He handed me a headset and called in again. Seriously, screw protocol right now. You're gonna get those situations where you're going to have to veer from the rule book, and you need to be okay with that. You gotta be flexible, you know what I mean? It rang a few times, and I didn't think he was gonna answer. (I'm ready to talk about the injured hostage.) He answered. I breathed a sigh of relief. Billy's smart, he knows that it's only a matter of time before this whole things comes crashing down on him, and he doesn't want anyone else caught in the middle. Because we may end up needing to use snipers. "That's a smart move, Billy. We're gonna send two paramedics in." He held up two fingers towards the SWAT Team for two of them two go in, but Billy said (And you send in two cops dressed as EMTs? No!" I looked at Jack, then at the phone, then back at Jack, then back at the phone. I was going to get my ass kicked for what I'm about to do, but lives were at stake; more than one, and in more ways than one. I know I'm about to piss a whole lotta people off, but I can't think about that right now. I took in a deep breath, then I quickly grabbed the phone and held out my hand to stop Jack from ripping it away, which he definitely did try to do. "Billy. Listen, it's Danny Reagan. It's me, alright. Why don't you let me come in there alright? Get the injured hostage, it'll make things a lot easier for you, okay?" I don't really know what I was doing, I just hoped it would work. We didn't break eye contact as we waited impatiently, and anxiously, for his response.
MY POV
Mom and Aunt Erin had gone into the kitchen to talk. I think they said they were making coffee or something. I really don't know. I was so focused on the screen in front of me that I completely tuned out the world around me. But my eyes, along with Nicky and Pop's, were glued to the screen. I just can't look away; there's so many people involved with whose lives very well could be on the line. I was constantly saying a prayer in my heart that everything would be okay. As I was watching, I was barely breathing. It was all just so intense. "So, he's doing this because his daughter needs some sort of surgery?" Nicky asked. "That's what they said." Pops responded. Honest to goodness, if I had a kid who needed a life saving operation, and I had no money or insurance, I would seriously consider robbing a bank, too. I don't have kids, yet but, I do know that there's not much a parent wouldn't do for their children, because their love is that strong and unconditional. I feel like I can't hate this guy or judge him. He's desperate and scared, and when people get like that, they don't think logically or rationally and they do crazy things. This guy was once the best of the best. He did a lot of great things, and he went downhill so quick. If something like this could happen to him, I feel like it could happen to anyone. Maybe even Dad or Uncle Jamie. I shook my head, and reminded myself that Dad and Uncle Jamie have something that this guy didn't have; a loving, caring, supportive family standing behind them. Wonderful partners to be there for them. No, there's no way they would go down this path, especially not like this; Billy is so far gone, it's gonna take a long time and a lot of work to get him okay again. Because he definitely is not right now. But still. I don't want to see them go off the deep end. I guess you never know what life has in store for you, or what God will throw your way. I just hope that my Dad will be able to talk to him and get him to think logically enough to end this on his own. Dad has told me enough for me to know there are snipers hidden somewhere ready to take him out as soon as the right person says go. And Billy doesn't deserve that. I have to believe that there's still some good to Billy, that he isn't completely gone. He's better than this, I just know it.
DANNY'S POV
He finally responded 12 seconds later. "Fine. Hurry up." I quickly took off my headset, and began to take my gun out of my hip holster. If I go in there armed, and Billy sees that I have my gun, this whole thing will end bloody. And I will come home to my family tonight. Alive. "You're not going in there." Seriously? What was the whole point of that conversation just then? Billy is expecting me any second now, and who's to say what he'll do if I don't walk in there? There's no going back now. "Yes, I am. He said for me to come in there." I pointed out. "We're going to lose control of the situation!" I groaned and covered my eyes. I'm getting so pissed off. Jack's pride is so huge and so strong, he doesn't wanna admit that someone besides him can handle this situation. And I thought my bride was bad. I gotta get him to listen to me and fast. "We're not gonna lose control of the situation!" "Danny-" "If I don't go in, the guy is gonna die!" Even if the guy wasn't shot in a critical place, he could bleed out or go into shock. I get that what I'm gonna do is against protocol and there's a 99% chance that we're gonna get a rip from Dad but, we can't worry about that right now, there's more important things to stress about. Whether Jack likes it or not, I'm going in there. And pray that Billy doesn't shoot me. I don't think he will but, when people are like this, you never know what they'll do. "Let him go." The SWAT Team captain said. I gave Condo a smug look. At least the captain recognizes that this is the best thing to do. He rolled his eyes. He was not amused. Which, honestly, was amusing to me. Yeah, I'm a bit of a dick but, what can you do? "Your call, Captain." He sighed. I'm not gonna lie, I was panicking a little. There was really no telling what would happen as soon as I entered that bank. But, that doesn't matter. This needs to be done, and no one else here has the balls to do it. So, I put my fears and anxiety behind me, said a prayer for the first time in a long time, and I began to jog across the street to the bank, unarmed.
MY POV
I haven't taken my eyes off of the TV since this whole thing started. It's like a car crash; it was absolutely awful but, I just couldn't look away. It was disturbingly captivating. When the newscaster showed what was happening next, my throat dropped into my stomach. I couldn't believe what I was seeing; Dad's going into the bank? Why? What the hell is going on here? All of the sudden, a million and one questions began fighting against each other in my head, and my thoughts were racing at about a million miles an hour. Was he sent in? Did he volunteer to go in? Is he armed? Is Billy armed? Is Dad gonna make it home? What if today is the day when Mom gets the call. The dreaded call that no family member of a cop wants to ever get, but more than enough do. Pops, Nicky and I all shot up to our feet. He's insane, he's officially lost his damn mind. "Linda, Erin, get in here." Pops called, and you could tell by the tone of his voice that he was panicking a little. They came walking in calmly, because they didn't know yet. "They're sending Danny in." Pops told them. "Why are they sending Danny in?" Aunt Erin asked, half scared half frustrated. "I don't know." He said. "He'd bring his gun in with him though, right?" Mom asked, the fear evident on her face and in her voice. Pops took in a deep breath, looked back at the T.V. trying to think of the right words. But then he said "I can't say for sure what's going on." "Except that this was probably his idea." Mom said. I felt my heart sink, and the wind knocked out of me. This isn't gonna end well, I can feel it in my gut. This damn Reagan gut, I swear it's gonna drive me insane. "Oh, my god." I whispered as my throat dropped into my stomach and realization hit me. Everyone turned to me expectantly. They cannot tell me that they aren't thinking the same thing I am; Dad is gonna die. "What is it, honey?" Mom asked gently. "I'm going to have to bury my Dad the same way I buried Uncle Joe." I took in sharp breath, and walked away quickly; holding back the tears. I couldn't bear to watch the news for another second. For all I know, it could show him being shot and killed, and I will not watch that happen. I can't watch myself lose my Dad, I can't. "I'll go calm her down." I heard Nicky say, and she followed me into the kitchen. I don't know yet if I need to talk to someone or if I just need to be alone. But, she's not exactly gonna give me a choice. "Eliza." She began. I shook my head, pissed off. I know she's gonna try to tell me that everything is gonna be okay, that he will come home to us. And, if on the off chance he doesn't, he will have at least died a hero. But, I don't wanna hear that right now. "Why? Why does he volunteer himself for these situations? I swear, sometimes it's like he doesn't care at all!" I shouted. Even though I know why he does it, and I know he cares. I'm just so mad at him right now, because he just threw himself into harm's way without any means of protecting himself. I mean, seriously, how dumb can you be? Ugh, I'm just so frustrated and scared. "You know he cares." Yeah, I know he cares. In fact, sometimes, he cares a little too much. It's definitely a weakness of his. "Yeah? Then why does he practically knock on death's door with situations like this?" "Because Uncle Danny goes above and beyond. He's an exceptional cop. He does what needs to be done but no one else has the guts to. You got that from him." Despite the current circumstances, I did take that as a compliment. Dad and I, we do the things that need to be done, but no one else will, even if it is highly dangerous, or seemingly stupid, or it scares the living daylight out of us. I know that I shouldn't be mad at him. And I don't know if I'm mad so much as I am scared. I can't watch another casket be lowered into the ground on our family plot, I can't sing at one more funeral, not so soon. "He's so stupid sometimes." I scoffed. "What are you really afraid of? Your Dad getting hurt, or going through the pain again?" Nicky asked. I looked at her, taken aback. I guess, I guess I hadn't thought about that. Is my fear for my Dad, or is it me being selfish? I think It was both; I love my Dad. He's one of the greatest guys ever. I want to hug him again, hear him tell me he loves me one more time. He deserves to keep living. But, at the same time, I don't think I could go through losing a family member a second time. This feeling inside of me from Joe, it's so damn crippling. It gets in the way of me being able to live my life. It's nauseating and it's just hell on earth. If Dad died, this feeling is doubled, and I can't do that. I can barely live right now. Yes, I'm very selfish, I get it. I bit my lip and avoided eye contact with my cousin as I whispered "I don't know." I scratched my head and sighed. Nicky looked at me, expecting me to say something, but I had nothing to say. She hugged me, and we just stood there in silence, not saying a word to each other. I hope I'm wrong about him.
DANNY'S POV
I softly put my hands on the door, and slowly pulled it open. I gotta stay calm and steady, make no sudden movements so that I don't spook him. I walked in with my hands up, to show him that I had no intention of this getting physical. and once I was in sight of him, I turned around and showed him that I was unarmed. I keep my word, if I say I'm coming into a place unarmed, I'll go in unarmed. I pointed towards the wounded hostage, and there was one more hostage, a woman, by him. I'll figure out a way to get Billy to let her go, too. "I'm approaching the hostage." I said as I pointed to him. I wanted to talk to him about every single move that I'm making, so he doesn't panic and shoot. He nodded, giving me the approval. I bent down by him and examined his wound briefly, and it did seem as though it missed anything major. But, he was losing a pretty significant amount of blood so, we better get him out. I put one arm under him, and the girl tried to stand up and help me, but Billy pushed her back down. He wasn't okay with her leaving just yet. "It's alright. It's okay." I said as calm as I could, to try to keep him calm. I dragged him to door, struggling a little because I was literally dragging him and carrying his weight. I finally got him outside, he was out of the woods. "I got a hostage, come on!" I shouted, and two members of the SWAT Team came and took him from me. My breathing was labored, partly because I was a little nervous, and partly because of carrying the guy. I walked back inside to try to talk some sense into him. I know that if I can just talk to this guy face to face, like a human being, I can get him to come down. It's been years since I've talked to him, though. In all reality, I don't know him anymore so, it won't be as personable as I want it to be. I'm just gonna have to do my best. "You got what you wanted Danny, just go!" He yelled at me. With my hands up, and, keeping my voice calm, said "I didn't come here for him, Billy. I came here for you." I said, gesturing towards him. I mean, yes, my main concern for going in there was getting the hostage out before it was too late. But, I do still care about Billy; he was a really great guy who did a lot of good. He may still be a good guy, he might still have some good in him. My experience tells me that he's long gone, and he probably is. I can't tell him that I think he's a good person gone bad. That would be fatal. I need to get myself alone with him, I gotta get the other out. Pointing towards the female hostage, I said "We don't need her, Billy. Let her go." He looked back and forth between the two of us; he was sweaty and on edge and agitated, he's obviously not thinking clearly. "You want a hostage, you got me." I told him. Better me than her. He contemplated it for just a second longer, then picked her up by the elbow and threw her in the direction of the door. His eyes were sunken in, he was pale and clammy. And he was clearly an emotionally distressed EDP. He was pointing his gun right at me, and I was secretly terrified for my life. The number one rule of guns; assume every one is loaded. I just really, really hope he won't shoot me. I can't show how scared I am. He kept looking at me, then at the door, then back at me very quickly, almost like his eyes were vibrating. "Your father know I'm in here?" Billy asked. I sighed a little. My father was a really influential guy in Billy's life; Billy's family was full of drug addicts, and my Dad sort of mentored him so that he wouldn't go down the same path as them; it worked for a long time, the majority of his life. "Billy, the whole city knows you're in here by now. Come on, why don't you just give up?" I said gently. I mean, it's over, he's busted. And he's leaving this bank one way or another, I hate to say it, dead or alive. He might as well surrender. "It's too late for me, Danny." I shook my head. "It's not too late, Billy. Come on, we'll figure this out together, you and me." I said, gesturing to him, then myself, then back to him. He's not that far gone, not yet. He can still turn this situation around, he can get his life back. I won't give up on him. Not now. "The only thing I need to figure out; is do I have the balls to shoot myself, or do I take the coward's way out and let that sniper do it for me?" He cocked the gun, then put it to his head. My heart began to race, and I felt that ache you get in your chest when you get scared quick. I won't let this end with suicide! He's stronger than that, I won't watch and let that happen. As long as I can help it, he's making it out of this bank alive, we both are. He stepped in front of the window, but I followed in front of him. "Billy, Billy! Come on, don't do this, don't do it!" He was so distressed, it was like he wasn't hearing me. I had one more chance, one more card to play. And if this doesn't work, I'm not sure anything will. Actually, if this doesn't work, I know nothing will. "Alright, you wanna do it, you wanna kill yourself? Fine." I pulled out the picture of his daughter and showed it to him. "What about her, Billy? What about your little girl, Billy? Who's gonna take care of her, then?" I placed the picture on a table by him and whispered "Who's gonna take care of her, then?" He stared at it for a minute. Let me tell you something, if Linda and I ever got a divorce (which would never happen), or if she passes away before I do (which better not happen), I can't say that I wouldn't contemplate ending my life, I wouldn't want to live without her. But Eliza, that little girl of mine would be what would keep me going. And I have to believe his daughter is enough to keep him around. "I know that's why you're in here, the whole city knows that's why you're in here. My old man even said it; he said If I was in Billy Flood's shoes, if my kid was gonna die and needed an operation and I had no money or insurance I would to the same thing." I kept my hands in front of me to push him back if needed. So help me god, if he takes one step forward, I'm gonna knock him to the ground. He slowly walked over to the picture and caressed it. He began to break down. "She's 8 years old, she needs a heart transplant; I was gonna fly her out to India tonight for the operation. Medical Tourism, they call it. Do you know what that's like, Danny? To not be able to save your own kid?" I slowly shut my eyes as my mind went to when Eliza was in the coma. I remember how angry and helpless I felt; here was my daughter dying right in front of me and I couldn't do a damn thing to stop it. "My daughter was in a coma last week. I felt helpless." He nodded, clearly grateful someone understood. "100 grand is all I needed. And it's crazy, I know, but... She's the only good thing I ever did. The only good-" he could no longer speak because he was crying to hard. I shook my head. "No, she's not, Billy. You were a good cop. You are a good cop. The good that you have done completely outweighs the bad. Your little girl does not want you stepping in front of that window, and neither do I. You know what's behind that window, Billy." It's so sad how easily he forgets how much good he did, what a great leader he was, how many people looked up to him. He snarled his nose and said, "Nah, I'm nothing." He tried to step in front of the window, but I blocked him, bringing down the hand with the gun down and knocking him to the ground just in the knick of time. Damn it, I can't believe that didn't work. I called for the SWAT Team to detain him. "Get in here, now! Hurry up!" They stormed in. "It's over, Billy. I'm sorry." He began crying again. He's gonna go to jail, for sure, but with a good attorney, it won't be for long. He's got a long road ahead, him and his daughter both. I sat down as he was cuffed. I put my hands over my eyes, and took in some sharp, shaky breaths. My whole body was shaking. It was over.
MY POV
We were all eating Sunday dinner the Sunday after everything had went down (2 days later). Pops was reading from the Newspaper; "Sources close to the Mayor have said If the Police Commissioner thinks sending his son to conduct Cowboy Diplomacy is the way to handle these situations, he is sorely out of touch." Cowboy Diplomacy. What the hell is that even supposed to mean? "Well, I couldn't agree more." Sydney commented. I can't agree or disagree because I have no idea what that even means. "I headed back to the house with a collar, it was on the T.V. Everybody was ripping into me about Danny goin' into that bank." Uncle Jamie said. Why was he getting the rip? It wasn't him who went into the bank, it was his idiot brother (you better not tell him I said that). And it's not like he told him to. "Well, for what it was worth, it was my bad idea going into the bank, Dad had nothing to do with it." Dad said. "What a surprise." Mom mumbled, clearly annoyed and not looking up from her plate. I avoided looking at either of them. They were shooting daggers at each other, I swear. "All good cops know when to follow ruse; but the great cops, they know when to improvise." Pops said. Dad smiled and gestured towards Pops, kinda like "See?" Oh Pops, please don't help. I love him to death but, I wish he didn't always have to get involved. Especially when it comes to my parents; when they get like this, you do not wanna get caught in the middle and you definitely don't wanna put yourself there. "So you just let them run amok?" Mom said. Dad glared at her but, she wouldn't have noticed because she wouldn't look at him at all. The tension between those two for the past two days has been so incredibly awkward and uncomfortable. Needless to say I did my homework in my room instead of the dining room table. "I was informed by the Incident Commander that he was sent in." Grandpa explained, clearly taking Dad's side as well. "Chain of Command noted, and observed." Pops stated. "Still, when I saw you walk into the bank like John Wayne, I wanted to choke you." Aunt Erin said. We all chuckled. Well, all except for Mom. I mean, that was kind of funny. I'm sure John Wayne was in a dangerous situation or two himself from what I've heard about him. I've never seen a single movie of his so I don't 100% understand that reference. All I know is, he was in a lot of cowboy movies. "That was honestly a really dumb move, Danny." Sydney commented. Dad rolled his eyes. "Did I ask you, Sydney?" "Hey, knock it off." Jamie said, him and Sydney both glaring at Dad and Dad glaring at them. "What about Billy Flood's daughter, what's gonna happen to her?" Nicky asked, clearly trying to change the subject. I'm glad she asked, though. I've been wondering the same thing just, didn't know when it was appropriate to ask. "Well, I think she's gonna be okay. Catholic Charities moved her up to the top of their list." Grandpa said. That was a relief. I felt my heart become a little lighter at that news, knowing that that innocent little girl was going to live. It's just nuts; Billy could have just asked for help, especially with him being a cop, he could have easily gotten it, I'm sure. I know the NYPD has a charity solely for stuff like this, as well as the church, obviously. "Funny thing; after church today, Father McMurray mentioned how grateful he was for a donation to the hospital fund." Jamie commented, eyeing Grandpa expectantly. "I guess there's a lot of generous people in this city." Grandpa smiled. I have a feeling that donation was made by a man named Frank Reagan. Either way, I'm just grateful she's gonna get the help she needs. And, I really hope he does, too. "So, it was all for nothing. He could've just asked for help. Instead, he robbed a bank." Mom said. Dad looked at Mom, super annoyed, and I could tell things were going to get more awkward. If that's even possible. Maybe I'll see if I can spend the night here tonight. I am not putting up with this for another night. "Sometimes, we judge ourselves by our good intentions, but we are judged by our last worst act. You listening, girls?" Grandpa said. Nicky and I nodded our heads. Grandpa always has such wise words of advice. And I mean, it makes sense. It seems like there are people who, no matter how good their intentions are, nothing seems to go right for them. But, at the same time, I always assumed people would judge us by the good we do, and we would be too hard on ourselves. I guess it just goes to show that the ends do not always justify the means. "I'm so glad I married a hero." Mom mumbled sarcastically, picking up the rolls and going into the kitchen. We all looked at Dad, clearly uncomfortable and waiting for him to follow her in and talk to her. Normally in this family, the whole silent treatment crap is not allowed, you're gonna sit down, communicate and talk things out. Which should give you an idea of how ticked off Mom really is. He looked at all of us, a little embarrassed. Then he wiped his mouth with his napkin and said "excuse me." He got up, squeezed Pops shoulder, and went into the kitchen. I made that horse noise with my lips and said "well, that was awkward." "Yeah, have fun with that tonight." Nicky said. I glared at her a little. Like, thanks, Nicky. Appreciate the love and sympathy. "Can I stay the night, Grandpa?" I begged. "If you really want to. But, I have a feeling things will get better soon." He said. I hope so. When those two fight, it is all or nothing; and I hate seeing them at each other's throats. I know Dad being a cop is really hard on Mom, no matter how much she supports him, and I know he knows that. But, still. There are times when she gets so scared and/or mad, that she just can't control herself. And he gets the same way. We all do.
DANNY'S POV
When I walked into the kitchen, she was putting leftover rolls away. She's practically been giving me the silent treatment since the bank, and it's killing me. I can't stand it when she's mad at me like this. "Hey, what's going on?" I asked her. It's about time I get to the bottom of what's really bothering her, because there is definitely more going on here than meets the eye. I tried putting my hands on her shoulders, but she shrugged me away and walked to the sink. I can't remember the last time she was so mad, she never, ever gives me the silent treatment. "What's the problem, Linda?" I asked, following her. I could tell something was bothering her, obviously. But she wouldn't tell me, and it was pissing me off because I can't know unless she tells me. She's had her back turned to me the past two nights, and I know she's been playing sleep. I can hear her softly crying, and I don't know how to help her. "I'm so glad Billy Flood's daughter's gonna be okay, but what about our daughter, Danny?" She said, still violently putting away food and not looking at me. I looked at her in confusion. Sure, Eliza is still recovering from being in a coma but, she's doing really well overall. She's still getting her energy back but, nothing serious so, what is she talking about? "What about our daughter? Our daughter's fine. What are you talking about?" I asked her, because she clearly knew something I didn't. "Really? How's our daughter gonna be?" "What are you talkin' about?" "What's gonna happen to Eliza the next time you swagger into one of those buildings, and then you don't come out?" She said, her voice slowly rising as she hit me in the chest. Ah, okay. So that's what was going on. She's worried that I'm gonna leave our daughter without a father. I know that because I'm a Dad I need to be more careful; I mean, here's this human being who's never known what life is like without me (Linda's a big girl, she's lived without me before, I'm sure she'd be fine) but, I didn't want Billy's daughter to have to bury him, either. She's too young for that. She leaned on the counter and said "son of a bitch." under her breath. I sighed, thinking of how to explain to her that, even though I was scared and I won't admit that, I knew deep in my gut that I was gonna be okay. "Linda, I knew the guy. I knew what he was doing in the bank, and I knew he wasn't gonna shoot me!" I said, my voice getting louder now. "You don't know that. You don't know any such thing, that is macho crap. John Wayne; never faced a real gun in his life, John Wayne." She began to sob. She's right; I could never have known that for sure. I know it really doesn't seem like it but, my family was on the front of my mind when this was all happening. I thought about if; what if that morning was the last time I'd see them? But, I had to ignore that. Other lives were at stake, and I couldn't stand by and just do nothing. "I was watching it on T.V. I saw you." I growled a little, I should have known. "You wanna know what? Eliza was convinced she was gonna have to bury you the same way she buried Joe. It took Nicky half an hour to calm her down." Then she began to really cry. I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. Knowing everything they're both already going through, and they thought they'd never see me alive again, it made me feel so bad. No wonder Linda's been so mad at me these past few days; I would be, too. It wasn't my intention to scare and worry my family, but I should have known it would happen. They worried about me enough before Joe got killed. After that, it doubled. "Hey, come on. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you. I love you and my baby girl more than anything on this earth and I promise you, I won't let anything happen. The first and last thought everyday before I do anything, is to get home safe to you." I said gently. I will not let myself be killed; I will always be there for my family, especially my wife and daughter. They are 100% stuck with me. Which is good with moments like this but, I'm sure I annoy them. In fact, I know I do. But, you annoy the ones you love. I kissed her cheek, and held her for a minute in my arms. I could feel her breathing slowly go back to normal as she nuzzled her head under my chin. "There we go. It's okay." I whispered in her ear. "I love you, Danny." She said, her voice still breaking a little. "I love you, too." We broke off, then I said "I'll be right back." I opened the door into the dining room and said "Eliza, could you come here?" Gesturing into the kitchen. I need to talk to her and let her know that her father is always gonna be here for her no matter what. I'm not gonna leave her, she'll always have me.
MY POV
Dad asked me to come into the kitchen, and my anxiety completely skyrocketed. Aw, man. Why did he wanna talk to me? What did I do wrong? Oh, this was probably about the guy I almost punched out at school. What part of almost doesn't anyone understand? Everyone looked at me, as if to either say good luck or what did you do? Or maybe both. I'm gonna go with both. I walked in cautiously. I stared at them expectantly. Mom had her arms folded and was looking at Dad, who was looking at me with a very serious expression. He sat down on a stool and gestured me forward. I walked towards him, he grabbed my hands, and started speaking. "You know that I will always come home to you, right?" He asked softly. I so badly wanted to tell him that no, I don't know that. Not even he knows that. He's a cop, a first grade major case detective no less, there is absolutely no guarantee that when he walks out the door that he's coming back. But, I didn't say that. Because I think I knew in my gut that he was gonna come home this time but, that didn't make the situation any less horrifying. So, I said "you can't promise that. But I think, in the back of my mind, I knew that everything was gonna be okay. You know what I mean?" He closed his eyes and nodded, so I continued. I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. This was a surprisingly difficult conversation. "But it was just like, in that moment, when I saw you walking into that bank and I realized you didn't have a gun..." I took in a sharp breath to hold back the tears, and Dad did that circle motion on my left hand with his thumb. I don't know why but, that almost always calms me down fairly quickly. And thank god he knows that because I just wanna get back to the dining room. "That's when it hit me that at any moment, Mom could show up at my school and tell me that you're gone and I'll never see you again. And God knows I'm not strong enough to go through that a second time." I finished, my voice cracking. I let a few tears fall. I am truthfully afraid of what would happen to me if he was killed in the line of duty. I mean, look at me; it's been almost 2 years since Joe was killed and I am still barely holding it together. If you can even count it as holding it together. I have no clue what kind of person I would become if he died, and I literally pray to God every night that I never have to find out. He put his hand on my face and wiped away a tear with his thumb. "Sh. Hey, it's okay. I love you so much, baby. You mean the world to me, and I'm giving you my word right now that I will never let anything happen, okay?" I wryly chuckled. "You can't promise that, Dad. You're not bulletproof, you're not invincible." I said. I know he didn't want to hear that but, he needs to hear it. Even after Joe, he thinks he's untouchable. He sighed. "Okay, you're right. I can't." He said, sounding disappointed. That sucked as much for him to hear as it did for me to say, okay? "How about I promise that I will always do my best?" He whispered. I nodded, because that is a promise that he can keep. I did feel a little better after that talk but, to be honest, I will never stop worrying about him, and no one and no talk or anything can stop that. It's just inevitable. "And hey, just so we're clear, you're strong enough to handle anything. You're my daughter." He winked at me, and I chuckled softly. I don't know about that but, I'll just let him believe. I do know one thing for sure; you never know just how strong you are, until you have no other choice. I just smiled at him and hugged him. "I love you, Dad." I said, with my head buried in his shoulder. "I love you, too." He said, kissing my head. That was a rare occurrence in and of itself; my family hardly ever just comes right out and says I love you. We say I love you in different ways. So actually flat out saying it is weird. Mom hugged us both and said "I love you both so much. But you are giant pains." Dad and I looked at each other and just shrugged. Then we headed back into the dining room to finish dinner. After we had taken our seats, Grandpa asked "everything good?" Dad nodded and said "we're good." Thank god. Then, Nicky asked her Mom "What would you do if I needed an operation and had no money?" "And your life was on the line?" Nicky hesitated, then said "yeah." "Rob a bank." Aunt Erin said casually, taking a sip of her wine. I facepalmed. Wow, the assistant District Attorney for the city of Manhattan just admitted that she would rob a bank if she had to. I guess it just goes to show what a parent will do for their kid. "Wow, Ma Barker." Uncle Jamie said. We all laughed, I actually almost choked on my water. Erin just blushed and shook her head, as if to say "shut up:" "When you were 18 months, you spiked a fever; 105°." Pops began, looking at Grandpa. "It's 3 in the morning; your mother's in a panic. There had been an outbreak of meningitis in the neighborhood, 3 dead toddlers." "Oh, my god." Sydney said, looking mortified. That's so horrible and horrifying. I can easily say that I would have been panicking, too. 3 dead toddlers so close to home, with one of my own? I can't imagine how scary that must have been for Grandma. And Pops. "Anyway, an ambulance crew arrives, they wanna take you to St. Victor's, a butcher shop. I insist on Methodist; the guys says 'I'm not authorized to go there.' Now, you're burning up, convulsing in my arms. I take out my service revolver and I say" (He mad a gun with his two pointer fingers and thumb and said "Now your authorized." I spit out my water a little, we were all laughing. I cannot believe he did that! Well, actually, I can. He is definitely a Reagan, no filter and he didn't hold back. "Check out Pops getting all gangsta. He pulled on a gun on an EMT." Nicky said, sounding impressed. I shook my head and said "Why do I feel like that's something you'd do?" I said, looking at Dad. "Because I would." He so would, too. I can see it now, he'd bring those EMT's to their knees. "I've never heard that story." Aunt Erin commented gently. I had never heard it, either. I don't think even Grandpa had, because he looked both surprised and grateful. "We almost lost you that night, Francis." Pops said. "Guess I owe you one, Pop." Grandpa said, smiling. They raised their glasses, and that was that. After dinner, Nicky and I volunteered to do the dishes. The adults do so much, the least we can do is clean up afterwards. "You guys sick?" Aunt Erin asked, feeling our foreheads. I glared at her slightly. We're not gonna want to help as much after that, just kidding. "Haha, very funny." I said. Nicky was washing the dishes, I was drying and putting away. It felt a little awkward, because I still haven't really apologized to her for the whole situation that happened. And I had to figure out a way to get around to it. While we were doing The dishes, I said, "So, my Parent's wedding anniversary is in a month and I want to do something special for them. But this stuff is not always my strong suit." She smiled gently. "That is so not true, but we'll think of something." She chuckled. "Thanks, Nicky." Ugh, okay. That didn't work. I don't know why me apologizing about this is so damn hard. Maybe it's just because I have to admit that I was an idiot and I hurt the family. Because I was not thinking about the family when I made that decision, I wasn't thinking about hurting them. I was selfish and I don't wanna admit that. We did the dishes in silent for another minute, until the thing I needed to say was driving me so crazy I had to spit it out. I'm just gonna come right out with it, because I've come to the conclusion that there is just no other way. "Look, Nicky, I meant to say this earlier. I wanted to say thank you." She stopped mid washing and raised an eyebrow. "For what?" She asked slowly. She's really gonna make me say it, isn't she? I guess I kinda deserve it. "For telling the family. Though, I hope they didn't get too mad at you." She shrugged, and I couldn't tell if she was upset or if she just didn't care. "They didn't get mad at me at all. I got a small lecture from Mom for not saying anything sooner but, nothing I couldn't handle." I would expect nothing less from Aunt Erin. But, if that's the least she got then, I am definitely happy. And now to ask her the question that has had me curious pretty much since I woke up. "How did my parents react?" "Aunt Linda was speechless, and Uncle Danny kicked a wall." My eyes went wide, and she looked at me, confused. "What, are you surprised?" "That he didn't punch the wall? Yes." Nicky started laughing as she said "no, he punched the vending machine." I leaned onto the counter as I began laughing so hard. I swear to god, my Dad is the only one who would punch a vending machine. A vending machine. Like, seriously Dad, are you for real? I am so asking him about that when we get home. "Pft. Yeah, that sounds like him." "Only your Dad." I rolled my eyes. "Right?" I hugged her tight and, thankfully, she hugged me back. Just as tight. "I'm sorry." I finally told her. "It's alright." She said. And I felt my heart become lighter.
YOU ARE READING
Blue Blood Runs Thick
Fanfiction***ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO BLUE BLOODS. I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING, THIS IS JUST A FAN FICTION.*** Eliza Reagan is the granddaughter of NYC Police Commissioner, Frank Reagan and the only child of the NYPD's best first grade homicide detective, Daniel Reagan...
