what we do in the dark

His hands moved to unbutton Theta's shirt clumsily in the darkness as he kissed him, Theta tasting the salty tears on his face and feeling the dampness of his skin when he caressed it longingly.

"... Koschei... You know I can't do this..." He whispered softly, his voice dripping in longing and heartache as his hands reached up to stop his from finishing unbuttoning his shirt.

His hands slowly stopped and went limp as they were held gently.
"... I'm - I'm s-sorry.." he suttered in response, choking back a quiet sob and his shoulders trembled as his ribs began to ache and his vision started to blur.  ".. I need you-" he managed to mumble through quiet sobs, collapsing in his hands as Theta took his shoulders gently as his hands still held onto his shirt. "I need you- so badly.. I can't- I cant stand it, it's so loud-- Theta, please, you don't have to do anything I promise - I just- just please don't- leave me" he rambled frantically with pleading eyes and his throat aching as he leaned against his chest a shaking crying mess. He was like fragile glass in his hands, completely vulnerable with nothing but trust and pain in his eyes. Perhaps if he squeezed too hard he'd snap and fall apart.

"I- I can't-, you know I can't.." he repeated in response, his voice desperate as he was now trembling softly as well. "I'm so sorry.. I promised you I wouldn't leave you again.." he continued desperately, feeling as though he was being torn apart at the seams as he stepped away, pulling away from him and neither could bear to look at one another. He quickly grabbed his jacket off the chair and hurried out the door, struggling against tears as he walked out and tried to ignore the quiet sound of koschei still sobbing softly.
".. what have I done?..." He asked himself as he clasped a hand over his mouth to keep from making any noise, leaning up against the front doors and sliding down to the floor.