Avery was pacing back and forth in the living room trying to come up with a plan. How was he going to figure out where Donald was? Then it clicked. He forgot he had Donald added on snapchat. If his snap maps were on, he could find out where he was.
Avery opened snapchat, and clicked the map. There he was. That sexy, orange man, in the middle of nowhere. It looked like a swampy area. What could he be doing there? Avery noticed it wasn't far from his house, so he decided to drive there and see what was going on.
Avery hopped in his car, and was playing queen Nicki at a low volume so Donald wouldn't hear him approaching. Avery turned off the main road onto a narrow, dirt path. He decided it was safer to travel on foot the rest of the way. He put his car in park and quietly exited. He was walking along the path when he heard a familiar voice; but what he saw was completely new.
Avery hid behind a tree and looked in the direction he heard Donald's voice from. All he could see was a large figure, but it blended in with the surrounding trees. Avery leaned in a bit closer, but stepped on a tree branch that made a dramatically loud crunching noise. The figure turned around, and finally he realized what it was. Shrek.
Avery stood in the clearing, jaw dropped, and he couldn't believe what he was seeing. He stared at Shrek, and Shrek stared back. Avery walked a bit closer, and finally said, "I'm looking for Donald Trump". Shrek looked down and frowned. "Look no further", he said. "He's right here". Shrek turned and walked into his shack, and returned holding a full body Donald Trump suit.
Avery froze. How was this possible? How could he have been so blind? Avery was finally able to ask, "Why would you do this? Why not just tell the truth about who you are"? Shrek sighed, thought for a second, and finally said, "I don't know. I guess I thought you wouldn't be interested if you knew it was really me. An ugly ogre". Avery's face fell. "But Shrek. You are everything I've ever wanted. You are the sexiest man alive. Of course I would've been interested", Avery said, lovingly. Shrek's grown quickly turned into a smile. They both ran at each other in slow motion, and finally met with a passionate smooch. Avery gazed up at Shrek, admiring his girthy horns. "Would you like to step inside?", Shrek asked. "That's what she said. Of course I would", Avery replied.
They went inside Shrek's shack, and immediately stripped. Shrek picked up Avery with ease and placed him on top of one of his horns. Avery bounced up and down like a pogo stick, and Shrek roared a mighty roar. Shrek put Avery down on the bed and began stuffing Avery's boston kreme with custard. The whole shack began to smell of onions, and Avery's eyes watered. This was what he had dreamt of for as long as he could remember. And he was finally living it.
Shrek and Avery fell asleep in each other's arms, and night fell. Morning came, and Avery awoke to the smell of onion pancakes, onion eggs, and onion coffee. Shrek turned around. "I made breakfast. I tried not to wake you until everything was finished". Avery beamed at him, his heart content. The two ate breakfast together, filling each other in on everything about themselves. They talked for hours, and it felt like they had known each other their whole lives.
Knock knock. Avery turned to look at the door as Shrek got up from his seat to answer it. The door swung open to reveal Donkey. Donkey smiled up at Shrek, then noticed Avery. As he walked inside, he asked "Hey, who is this"? Shrek replied, "Donkey, this is my friend, Avery. He's a special friend. Can you keep this between us"? He looked desperate. Donkey looked between Avery and Shrek, confused. Finally he asked, "Wait, Fiona knows that he's here, right"? Shrek's eyes widened and he said, very carefully, "No. Donkey, please don't tell her. Avery is the person I'm meant to be with. I haven't had the chance to tell her yet since she's been at the Ogre Convention across town. I promise I'll tell her when she returns". Donkey's eyebrows raised. He glared at Shrek for what felt like 10 minutes. He replied, "Okay. I won't tell her. But if you don't tell her the second she gets back, I'm telling her for you". Donkey turned, and walked out the door.
Avery stared at the floor for a while. He didn't know what to think. He finally got the courage to say, "Shrek what the hell? Why didn't you tell me you and Fiona were still together? I never would've slept with you if I'd known". Shrek looked at Avery, ashamed. "I'm sorry", he said. "I knew you'd never talk to me again if I told you. But I am going to tell her that her and I need to split up. You are my true soulmate. I love you Avery". Avery just stared at Shrek, and said "This is too much right now. I need to go home and think about this". Avery quickly gathered his belongings, and hurried out the door.
