Our Little Secret (Kylo Ren x Reader)

A Welcomed Invasion

You laid wide awake in your cell, listening for any sound. You rolled over onto your side on the hard cot, groaning as the rock of a mattress left your back sore and aching. Your watch flashed up at you. 3:30 AM. You sighed. Where was he? You'd been a mess of emotions ever since you'd been returned to your cell. Snoke's words rung in your ears, but you still weren't exactly sure how to process them. Your initial reaction of anger had faded a bit, but it was still definitely there. You felt sick to your stomach as you thought about Leia, loosing her only child to the First Order. He wasn't dead, you knew that now, but he might as well have been. He wasn't the same. Her Ben was long gone. At least thats what he'd told you. You weren't sure if you believed him. You flashed back to those moments where he'd shown you genuine compassion. When he'd held you against him in the shower, supporting your weak body under the stream of the water. And when he'd hugged you against him the night before, laying your head on his chest as his strong heartbeat sounded in your ears. In those moments, you'd seen the human in him. He wasn't Kylo Ren. He was just a man, holding you tight in his arms. You needed to talk to him. Really talk to him. You weren't going to let him silence you, or run away. Either he would answer your questions, or you would go back to Snoke. You felt like you had a little bit of leverage as you rolled over again, pulling the thin raggedy blanket around you. 

Stomp, stomp, stomp. Heavy footsteps sounded down the hallway, and you shot up, frantically smoothing your tangled hair. The footsteps slowed as they reached your door, the lock clicking open. It swung open, Kylo's figure storming into the room, slamming the door shut. His mask concealed his face, but his shoulders were tight. He walked over to you, stopping as he loomed over your head. You sat in awkward silence for what seemed like forever, his hidden eyes scanning your figure. Finally, you couldn't stand it anymore.

"So," You said coldly, "Ben." Kylo shot forward with a growl, his gloved hands pinning you down against the mattress. You squeaked, terror in your eyes as he trapped you underneath him, his chest heaving. 

"Don't." He seethed, his modulated voice spilling out of his helmet. 

"Why not?" A flame of bravery burned in you, spurring you on. "That's your name."

"It's not." His words were threaded with an icy, rage filled tone. But for some reason, you didn't stop.

"It is, and you're going to tell me everything I want to know," You hissed, staring at him through thin eyes, "Or I'm going back to Snoke." An aggravated huff came from his mouth, and he considered you for a moment, his body hovering of yours. Finally, he pulled back, standing up straight. You rolled your eyes, sitting up again and sighing. 

"Good." You said, looking at him annoyedly, motioning towards the side of your cot. When he didn't move, you flicked your hand towards it. "Sit." You ordered, your lips in a thin line. He paused, but finally moved to the edge of the mattress, sitting down. 

"I want to see you face," You added, your face stern. He whipped his head towards you. You could tell he was aggravated, his fists clenched again and his shoulders tight. But you didn't give in, continuing to stare at him with wide eyes until he finally reached up to the back of his helmet, a hissing sound coming as it unlocked. With a loud huff, he pulled it forward over his head, his dark mop of hair springing free. He looked down at the ground, his lips pulled into a frown. 

"You do not get to order me to do things." He whispered.

"No," you responded, glaring, "Right now, I do." He exhaled sharply through his nose. You continued.

"Why didn't you tell me?" You pressed, your eyes softening. His name ran through your mind. Ben. It was hard to connect the man sitting in front of you with who he really was. Or at least who he used to be.