TCN: Mei Gongqing

Chapter 184: His Feelings

Chapter 184: His Feelings

Betrayed and wounded him?

Chen Rong wanted to laugh when she heard this. And yet, when she saw his lonely eyes and his bloodstained, grimy figure, this handsome and unfeeling man somehow felt cold and lonesome despite the warm sun above them. His was the desolation of someone who lived in an eternal wasteland, never understood nor accompanied by anyone.

Her eyes suddenly stung as she stared at him. She tilted her head to let the wind dry her eyes... Perhaps she had never known this man whose bones yearned for tenderness. She once thought he was made of iron, never to be defeated. But she was wrong. He was always alone in both lives, his soul always wandering and searching for warmth regardless of the things he had.

In their last life, she had used the wrong way to capture his attention. Despite trying her best, she couldn't get him to look back at her.

In this life, she let go of him and of her own obsession. Yet this unintentional and subconscious rejection was what made her enter his heart.

After thinking about it, Chen Rong felt that she did really hurt him. Just like how he had hurt her in the past, she now walked right into his heart and then dismissed it, delivering his biggest wound.

Her lips twitched, but different from before, Chen Rong did not feel happy this time.

She stayed her long hair from flying in the wind. As she was about to speak, Ran Min's deep voice continued: "Ah Rong, if..."

"If you find yourself with child and have nowhere to go, then come find me," he abstrusely said.

Chen Rong's head whipped up to look at him.

"Murong Ke really didn't touch me," she said as she met his lonely gaze. She sounded rather powerless. She, too, knew that any woman who fell into the hands of the Hu would at best sleep with their general alone or more commonly become a plaything for their captains and soldiers... It was the norm which no woman could escape. It was why both Ran Min and Wang Hong didn't think it would be different for her.

"You're too strong-willed," Ran Min went on. "If you couldn't tolerate Chen Wei, you could've found me and told me. Yet you slept with Wang Hong over such a trivial thing. You had forsaken me, Ah Rong."

There was a sadness in his voice, and he had sounded even more powerless when he said she had forsaken him.

Chen Rong's lips moved. She knew that if she had sincerely wanted to marry him, she could have looked for him when she heard about Chen Wei. He may not have listened, but she should have tried.

Ran Min stared at her. Seeing her head bowed and the muscles on her mouth twitching, he said, "I did not want to dwell on your loss of chastity, I still wanted to marry you... But you refused me. Ah Rong, your heart is made of iron and stone."

At this juncture, he looked up to the sky, his handsome face smiling plaintively. "I was born to the Hu and took the enemy as my countrymen. Despite rescuing countless clansmen, what I receive is always disdain. But none of that had mattered... because you had given me the kind of happiness that made me think life could be complete. Then you turned around and did this to me. Ah Rong, how I hated you then, how I wanted to kill you."

Chen Rong bit her lips, her head hanging even lower.

Ran Min's throat undulated. He closed his eyes to hide the pain and loneliness in them. His lips moved to hoarsely say: "I, too, wanted to let go this time. But when I thought of you being held captive by the Hu like the thousands of Jin women I had seen, crying under those damned Xianbei, I could not sit still."