"And what is wizarding royalty doing at Hogwarts?" -SS
"Come now Severus... Princesses love castles" -AD
Severus Snape was like an abandoned castle; cold and secluded. That was the way he liked it. He'd long since accepted the fact that he would be...
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"All good news, I would hope" Dumbledore broke her trance and she blinked, turning to face him with a small smile as she tucked the letter carefully back into the envelope.
"Matter of opinion, I am afraid." She blinked, frowning slightly, trying her best to try and understand her feelings but feeling only void in that moment. Perhaps her emotions had crashed, she wasn't familiar with the feeling but she felt like her body was malfunctioning. She should've been crying, she knew that much. Her parents could very likely die, Dragonpox was a potentially deadly, contagious disease. And her parents were frail either way, having been admitted to St. Mungos indicated that it was something more than a mild case. Realising moments had passed, she continued to speak. "Magdalena and Tobias are expecting their first child."
"Marvellous news" Dumbledore smiled happily.
"And mother and father are at St. Mungos...Dragonpox" her voice was void and Dumbledore stared at her in horror for a moment, his eyes dimming slightly in grief at the knowledge that one of his friends was potentially very ill. As Caledonia stared at the light slightly diminish from Albus' eyes, she knew she should've been sad herself. She should've cried, at least but as her mind searched her body for any spark of sadness, it found none.
"I am so sorry my dear. Please send them my best wishes." He smiled softly and she nodded softly once, face remaining emotionless. As her doe eyes glanced down at her hands, she finally noticed that they shook where they held the envelope, involuntarily, crinkling it slightly around the edges and she tucked her hands firmly together in her lap to halt the movement. When her eyes finally looked up, after a breath, she caught Severus staring at her. His face was unreadable as she blinked at him before he suddenly turned away and she stood perhaps too quickly, her plate clattering as the knife and fork were shoved. Before she could see everyone's eyes flash over to her, she turned and exited through the door at the back of the Great Hall.
When Caledonia finally got back to her classroom, she slammed the door violently, if the castle wasn't so sturdy, it would've shook with the force. Her back pressed against it and she slid downwards, legs curling inwards as her body finally hit the floor of the dark classroom, no light lit the room, only a haunting glow breaking through her bedroom door from a lantern.
The emptiness was beginning to panic her, she knew she should feel sad. Sad about her past, about Severus Snape, about her parents inevitable demise and the fact that she was stuck in a castle, on her own. She should feel something... Anything. But she didn't, she didn't feel any sadness or grief, only panic at the lack of emotions. She wanted to cry but the tears wouldn't come now.
At a loss, feeling panicked and uncomfortable in her own skin, she rushed back through the classroom door and down the corridor, face down. She had the sudden urge to feel something, anything. In her daze, the small brunette slammed straight into what she assumed was a wall. For a moment, she appreciated the pain as she fell to the floor. But the second the pain ended, she wanted to scream in irritation. That was, at least, something she could feel.
"Are you okay?" The voice was a void once more and she looked up, finding Severus Snape standing over her with his arms crossed, it wasn't a wall after all. She blinked at him for a long time. "Did you hit your head? What's the matter with you. Get up" he snapped but she didn't respond, remaining sat on the floor, palms against the stone, feeling the cold bite her hands. "Get up Merlin, you imbecile"
"Say it again" her voice was a whisper but he heard it in the empty corridor and he frowned.
"What?"
"Say it again"
"Say what again?" He scoffed and she frowned up at him. "Get off the floor Merlin before I get bored and just leave you here in the dust" he demanded and she frowned up at him as he yelled, wondering why it didn't make her feel anything.
"Shout?"
"What? I bloody will in a minute. Did you hit your head or something?"
"I don't—" she frowned looking at her hands. "I don't understand" was this some sort of emotional desensitisation?
"Yeah, you say that a lot." He informed and she looked up into his eyes.
"Walk away then" but he didn't, reaching his hand down.
"Get. Up" he spelled out for her and she looked at his hand for such a long time, he almost pulled it away and stormed off. Finally, her hand linked with his and he pulled her up. In the process of easily pulling her small weight to stand, the result was her chest pressed against his and she stared deeply into his eyes for a long moment, panicked.
"Why can't I cry?"
"What?" He frowned, hands placing on her shoulders in soft confusion, almost worry. "What are you talking about?"
"Forget about it" she shook her head. "You don't want anything to do with me anyway," her arms reached upwards, spreading out and pushing his hands from her shoulders. Shaking her head continually, she turned on her heel and retreated back to her bedroom to lie in her bed and stare at the canopy, wanting nothing more than to cry.
