Hidden Footprints [ON HOLD]

Tragedy and Explanations - 2.

3 years later...

Toby and I sat on the swings that were positioned at the far back of the park. They were in a way isolated from the rest of the equipment on the park which both Toby and I preferred. We didn't have to talk to anyone else other than ourselves and we could swing to our heart's content since nobody really came over to us. Everyone knew we were inseparable.

I liked just sitting down looking at all the scenery that surrounded us, looking at every single little detail. On the right was a small woods. The trees always grew so tall, especially in Summer when the leaves would fan out to make it look bigger than it was. At the entrance of the woods were several wild flowers growing as if they had a mind of their own, wrapping their stems tightly around the trunks of the closest tree they could find.

On the other side there was large areas of grass which led to a small hill. Lots of small children, around the age of four and five would run around on this area. They would scream and mostly play tag, and although it seemed quite annoying, it was easy to ignore. There wasn't anything very interesting about that area of the park.

"Hey Tobe! Do you wanna get some ice cream?" I asked my best friend Toby, who was sat on the swing to my left. He was swinging happily in the bright sun, sort of minding his own business similarly to me. It always got me wondering. What was he thinking? Was he admiring the scenery like me or was he just thinking about other things? Like his family and friends?

"Definitely a good day for some!" He told me as he instantly hopped off the swing simultaneously with me. We smiled at each other then proceeded to do the five minute walk back to my house.

"My Mum's still very sick lately, so excuse the mess still." I explained to Toby, get a little self conscious of the house I lived in.

"It's alright, don't worry about it. It's understandable. If you don't mind me asking, uh what's wrong with your mum?" He asked, almost nervously.

"She doesn't talk about it.. but she's on medication I have to get for her every month. She hardly eats too and she doesn't get out of bed either." I admitted everything I knew.

"It's okay. Well I hope she gets better soon." He told me.

"I do too." I muttered as we walked up the hill that led to our street. It was within minutes after turning the corner that we arrived at my house. We were both sweating as the hot sun beat onto our skin and we were in desperate need of some ice cream. I opened the front door and called out "I'm home Mum", to make her aware of my presence but I got only silence in return.

"Wait here whilst I go upstairs and make sure she's alright." I told Toby and he came into the house. I closed the front door behind him and he nodded, standing awkwardly. I ran up the stairs and headed to my Mum's bedroom. I knocked gently but there was still no reply so I walked in.

The room was a complete mess, similarly to mine, and there was clothes and rubbish all over the place. The closet doors were open for clothes to spill out onto the floor, and my Mum's bed was rarely made as she rarely got up out of it. I looked over at her bed seeing a small body covered by several blankets and then I was able to hear the gentle snoring that was coming from underneath the covers. It relieved me that she was only sleeping.

I stepped out of her room and headed back downstairs to Toby, but to my surprise he'd gone. I guessed that he'd gone to the toilet but I couldn't hear anything. This was so confusing. First I was worried about my Mum and now I'm worried about my best friend who's suddenly vanished. I decided not to dwell on it. If he wanted to talk to me or be around me then he would have stayed.

I went into the kitchen and got myself a glass of water and drank it all before going into the living room and jumping back onto the couch. I grabbed the remote which was always left on the coffee table beside the couch and switched the TV on, making sure that the volume was down so I didn't wake up my Mum.

A few hours later it was evening and there was still no word from Toby. I was getting worried since this had never happened before but before I could think about it for any longer my Mum began calling me from upstairs, sounding a lot like she was in pain. I rushed upstairs within seconds.

"Mum, are you alright?" I asked, panic suddenly present in my voice.

"Yeah darling, don't worry. I just need you to go into the medicine cabinet and take me out some really strong painkillers. My back has seized up." She told me before I dashed out of the room and headed to the bathroom where the medicine cabinet was. I took out some painkillers which were the strongest painkillers we had in and headed back into my Mum's room to give her them.

"Thanks sweetheart. I really am so lucky to have you as my son. You take care of me as I was your daughter and you were the father. I'm glad you understand the situation I'm in. Nobody else does darling." She began to pour out her feelings to me, tearing up as she did so. "I failed you as a parent Francis. I'm so sorry-" She was cut off as she began to cough then suddenly broke down into tears.

"Mum, it's okay. You haven't failed as anything. Nobody knew-" I tried to calm her down, as she had become crying hysterically cutting my sentence off, by placing my hand in between hers and stroking her hand gently. It seemed to help momentarily. 

"I could- I could have stopped this." She told me in between sobs.

"How?" I questioned her for once.

"I should- I should have listened to your Dad twelve years ago.." It was a miracle that she was talking to me about my father. She'd never before. "He told me not to go out that night but I did anyway. I was around six months pregnant.. I got drunk sweetheart. I'm so sorry." She began to cry hysterically again and all I could do was try to calm her down. This time it didn't seem to help. I felt defeated but I didn't show that to her. That would definitely make her feel worse.

"It's okay, Mum." I told her despite thinking the complete opposite. She shouldn't have got drunk. That was irresponsible.

"That's only half of it baby. When I was walking home from the club with the girls, I ran into the road.. Your- your father hit me with his car and he was drunk." She spluttered out and again she started to cry loudly and this caused me to tear up. "I got rushed to hospital and I had to have an emergency c-section but the baby was already dead. Your dad got sentenced to both Vehicular and Intoxication Man slaughter. He's doing a life sentence.. As for me. I'm paralyzed from my waist down.." She continued to cry as I stared at her in shock. This was so much to take in but I had to comfort her and I just wrapped my arms around her body.

"It's still okay Mum. People make mistakes.." I told her. She sniffled and buried her face into my shoulder as she broke down. I was never good in this type of situation but I tried my hardest to hold her together and it seemed to work. At this point I was only worrying about my Mum and nothing else in the world. She was what mattered to me the most.

Eventually she began to calm down still having her arms tightly around my petite body. "I love you son." She whispered into my ear.

"I love you too."

"I'm s-" She began but I cut her off nearly instantly.

"Again, you have nothing to worry about. Just get some rest Mum and shout for me if you need anything." I told her as I gave her one more hug before I left her room.

I walked into my bedroom and collapsed back onto my bed. This was so much for me to digest. Everything seemed to replay in my mind the entire night. She'd never wanted to talk about her accident, so why now? What changed? Why did she talk to me about my Dad too? He'd never been mentioned in my life up until now? Again, what had changed?

I tried my hardest to stay calm but the anger took over me and I ended taking my anger out onto the thing closest to me - the wall. I punched it with all I had which caused a large hole to form. My knuckles were covered in white dust now and I still was angry. I wasn't angry at my Mum though. I was angry about the whole situation. Why my family?