chapter 1

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every day, every night 

feel like a fool, you gotta know 

feel like a fool, you gotta know 

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Theirs was a life in noir, with backstabbing friends, unfateful lovers and drama lurking behind every corner, but the money, the champagne, the power and the drugs, deformed their view of reality and painted it golden

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

Theirs was a life in noir, with backstabbing friends, unfateful lovers and drama lurking behind every corner, but the money, the champagne, the power and the drugs, deformed their view of reality and painted it golden.

I envied them and their daily struggles to stay on top of the social hierarchy. I wished that I could be more like them, but we weren't the same, not even close. They played with money, but the only currency that I could offer was sex, but I wasn't brave enough to place that bet on the table.

Watching from the sidelines wasn't the same as living in the bloody glitz and fabricated glamour, but I still enjoyed the show. It brought a certain sense of satisfaction, a quick rush of excitement. It wasn't enough, but it was something.

In this case, it would've been better to have nothing, stay on the ground, in the darkness, without ever receiving a glimpse of the light and feeling the warmth of the sun.

Afterwards, nothing was ever enough again. The darkness was always lurking and the sun never stayed for long.

'' Why are you crying? '' I was absent-mindedly wiping the freshly washed champagne glasses and lining them up on one of the shelves behind the bar. My eyes were lazily watching the few people that already arrived to the Palace nightclub. They were sitting in the shadowy booths, sipping their lukewarm champagne and eagerly turning their heads whenever a new face walked through the entrance. I was used to this type of crowd, people who were more interested in watching others have fun rather than having fun themselves. It was all about feeling like you're one of them, rather than being happy yourself.

Jisoo was sitting somewhere behind me, with her face buried in her hands and crocodile tears streaming down her cheeks. '' You wouldn't understand, Danbi. You don't even have the ability to feel feelings. ''

I rolled my eyes and disinterestedly mumbled: '' Did you get rejected by some rich boy again? Was that before or after you told him that your family owns a noodle shop? Just one and not an entire franchise? ''

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