I hate the way you look at him

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Kenny

I hate the way your eyes light up when your speaking about him. Like they used to when I was near you.

I hate the fact your happier with him than with me. I hate how you two look at each other. I hate that I miss feeling you in my arms. I hate that I loved counting the freckles on your nose when you weren't looking. Hating how soft your hair is. How soft your lips were even though you bit them so much.

I knew you were only using me to distract yourself from him. I shouldn't have gotten so attached to you. How couldn't I?

I hate how I found you two kissing on your bed. The way you looked at me with fear and regret. Your shirt was off, your hair a mess. Bruises on your neck. I knew you loved him, not me. It was selfish of me to tell you "I love you" when you would hesitate to say it back.

I went to Butters, telling him what happened only to find you've been doing this behind me back since we started dating. Leo found you in the closet with him. How you asked, no begged him to keep this from me. That fucking hurt.

I hate how everyone knew about the two of you, how no one came to comfort me when it was over. They all thought I was the bad one, that I cheated on you, broke you. No one took my side. I still wonder how that happened. Did you spread it or did he? I hate how I broke my record of no deaths in a year after jumping in front of a car that night. I remember waking up on my bed with a splitting headache, missed calls from my friends. From, you. My friends weren't  worried for me. They thought I was only using you, that I didn't love you but I do and I hate that.

I remember when you two broke up. You were crying near the lockers and I found you. I comforted you holding you tightly telling you it's was okay. I hate how I invited you to my home, how you got along with my sister. How I asked you if you wanted to go for a coffee later. You smiled gently and told me yes.

I loved every moment after that. How warm your hand felt when I grabbed it. How we didn't sleep until you did. How you allowed me and Karen to stay at your house when things were bad at mine. The times where you freaked out over me jumping over the fence at the forest. When you offered a job at the shop when I was fired from my second job.

I miss you. It pains me to see you with him. I remember how he glared at me the day I went to sit with you guys for lunch. How pissed off he looked when I pressed my lips against yours. I found that amusing because I knew that he knew I loved you. He knew that you didn't love me. Yet he couldn't help but be jealous of me. Because I was the one holding you at night, kissing you, holding your hand, telling you I love you.

I knew you didn't love me. I still kept you around because I loved you. I knew I couldn't keep you two apart for long. It was bound to happen. Now you're with him again. Wearing promise rings, holding each other tightly, telling each other "I love you" with out hesitation.

Now he's on his knee in front of everyone on our last day of high school. Holding a box with a beautiful ring inside, something expensive that I could never afford. Opening the box, his eyes didn't move from yours.

"Tweek Tweak, will you marry me?"

You jumped into his arms kissing him. Crying, with a big smile. Telling him "yes!"

Everyone cheered except me. I felt sick to my stomach watching you both. I ran off behind the school to smoke. It helped keep my mind off you. With a cigarette lit and tears falling from my eyes. I'll make sure you know that, I hate you, Tweek Tweak, for making me love you.

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720 words

I'll probably make another part to this, maybe like a alternative where Kenny stayed with Tweek and he proposes to him but Tweek says no and runs off with Craig to college maybe.

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