The Alien on my caravan roof

A coffee with two sugars

The lab was quiet. Each member of the staff was stood staring at the various screens dotted across the facility. Their breath held, their fists' tight and their eyes wide. A man in a black coat was stood in the main lab holding a portable tablet and making various notes. Around him were cameras sending feeds across the building. A group of trained bodyguards stood at each doorframe, waiting for the worst scenario. The man took a step forward until he was inches from the egg. It's pulsating blue exterior pumped like a heartbeat, and a small shadow inside could be seen shifting about. The man tapped the tablet furiously, activating an overhanging metal arm. The arm had a needle on the end. He slowly manoeuvred it and slipped the needle into the egg. The outer shell was surprisingly soft, and the thin blade almost sank in. He felt it come into contact with the creature within. He started pushing the blade deeper until he felt it pierce the creature. Suddenly, the shadow within flailed about, pushing at the soft exterior furiously. The metal arm retracted quickly. But the needle had already extracted a teaspoon full of blue liquid from within the creature. The man smirked. "Ladies and gentlemen" He turned to the camera confidently "Not only have we made contact, but we have extracted tissues for analysis. I hope now you will think twice before pulling your funding. Thank you and goodnight". He signalled the camera, and the dozens of red recording dots around him flicked off. 

"Congratulations professor Newton!" Dozens of scientists ran up to the black coat man, showing him with applause. Professor Newton waved down their praises, loosening his tie slightly. "Now, now. This is not my accomplishment, but ours." Another wave of applause and cheers "However, we do not stop here! With the fresh tissue sample I harvested today, I want a team to be analysing that tomorrow, whilst another monitors the egg's growth. We have to know when it will hatch. Lee! With me" And with that, the professor swept from the room followed by the head scientist. As he quick-stepped away from the cheers, his cheery expression turned sour. "How did the governor take it?" He asked.

"Well. She's willing to attend a conference with you tomorrow at eight-thirty" Lee answered, handing over his tablet. The professor glanced at the files before grinning again. "I think she's going to reinstate the funding. But sir... we still need a test subject. All of our past volunteers have... become unavailable"

"Perfect." The professor chuckled darkly "Then let's find an outsider's perspective"

"No madam I did not give you milk that was too hot for your lips on purpose. I will remake your drink"

"You'd better! And lose that attitude! This drink better be on the house to somewhat make up for your appalling behaviour" The spindly woman at the counter flicked her dark hair triumphantly as the barista poured the drink she'd just made down the drain, and began to prepare a new one. She could hear the woman's fingers drum on the counter. Was she not going to sit down and wait? 'I'm gonna pour it down that Kath Kidston dress of hers' The barista thought, adding a meagre sprinkle of spiteful chocolate powder on top of the caramel cappuccino. "Here you are. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding"

"I expect your manager to be at my table in the next ten minutes" She hissed, snatching the drink. She then leant closer, squinting at my name tag.

"Its Annika," She said flatly. 

"Well, Anneekar~" She mocked "Don't look forward to your career here too much longer". Annika waved sarcastically as she stomped away to her table, and felt her heart sink. This would be her third strike; the third customer to complain about her personally. She was going to be fired. She quickly checked the front door before pulling herself over to the phone and calling the manager. "Annika? What is it?"

"There's a lady here who'd like to talk to you" She tried to keep a neutral tone. She knew that witch was probably still listening to her every word. 

"Okay... I'll be there in five" 

"Thank you" Annika put down the phone and glanced at the woman. She was glaring. Trying to ignore it, she started steaming some milk. A phone buzzed somewhere, followed by laughter. The constant stream of cars outside became a long moan. Steam sat on the windows was decorated with intricate doodles and art. A single horrifically atomically correct penis was drawn on the window next to the angry woman. Annika found herself snickering at the hidden victory. Finally, her manger swept into the building, her leather jacket rubbed raw from her intensive motorcycling. She looked up at Annika, who pointed at the lady in the corner stirring her drink suspiciously. As if it were poisoned. Annika watched the manager walk over, and by the look on each of their faces after a few minutes, knew it was time to hang up her apron. And just as she thought, when her shift ended she was called into manager's office. 

"Take a seat Annika" The manager gestured to the tired leather chair opposite her. Annika slowly lowered herself into the seat, which began to suck her in deeper as she sunk into the fabric. "I had another complaint about your... attitude today" 

"I know," Annika said flatly. "That was never my intention"

"I know Annika... it never is," She smiled, but she was rubbing her forehead in frustration. "You know what I'm going to say."

"I'm fired," Annika said in the same dead tone. The manager nodded solemnly. 

"I'll give you a good statement for your next employment, 'cuz you're a hard worker Annika" The manager tried to sugarcoat the words "But, you have to understand that I have a reputation to uphold..."

"I understand, so don't stress" Annika relaxed slightly, smiling "I can always find another job. Can I keep the discount though?"

"No"