Chapter 10: Past Replay

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I ended up helping my cousin with her work, she decided to change her mind on everything we done . It was fun and at the same time I was completely anxious, because I know if this assignment isn't good my aunt will surely have Mrs Khan replace me. It took me almost five hours to incorporate her ideas into what she wanted on the computer.

Getting home, I was surprisingly exhausted. I suppose it's because I barely slept last night and staring at a computer screen for five hours isn't something I'm used to, unlike the rest of my generation.

I just hopped onto my bed ready to sleep at 8pm. Mom had left my bedroom heater on and my room was so nice and toasty after I had come straight out of the cold.

I just wanted to call Justin, Emmanuel, Thabz, Roxy or even William to let them know how exciting my day was for once. I just wanted to have an amazing conversation with someone other than my mom and a nine year old.

William barely spoke to me today, but that shouldn't be bothering me anyway, I mean we didn't speak at all for two years, except for the occasional bumping into each other at Coral Reef. I also know he works, so obviously he must be busy.

Thabz hasn't been online for some time, so he must be having a problem with network. He tends to get busy too.

Each of my friends has played a dramatic role in my life since I broke up with Joseph.

They supported you through everything. If it wasn't for your friends and for your mother, you probably would've listened to my advice, you would've just killed yourself. It's okay to tell your story, but it's okay to find the light. Surely your thoughts will kill you tonight. Remember what it felt like in the dark, crying yourself to sleep most nights and wishing that your world would rather come to an end.

Mia you cried four months almost non-stop. That hollow endless dry pain, I will never forget it. You were so strong to overcome it. All your bottled up emotions exploded in your poetry, yet at the same time you played the acting role so beautifully, pretending you writing on a best friend's pain and suffering. You had the whole world fooled, you almost had yourself fooled, that's probably what saved you.

You should've listened to Peter, to your mom, to your closest friends. You should've listened to that random crazy psychic that made you take condoms from a box in a room. She told you to make Joseph gravel at your feet, make him beg for your mercy and kindness. You should've made him suffer like he deserves, you should have never taken him back. When he played you the first time around you should have made him start crawling and trembling at your name. Don't pretend that you can't. You remember what you did to Bruce...

That's about ENOUGH! Bruce and Dorian are from the past. She's a grown woman now. She's made her mistakes. She regrets it and you know it. Stop taunting her with the mere thought of him. Yes, he became more suicidal after he knew her. Yes, she's the reason he was unable to move on. It just shows that messing with an innocent person could be more harmful to you. It's over and done with. Bruce forgave her, just as she forgave him for... you know what.

Sometimes I believe Mia was a stronger woman then, than she is right now.

Admitting the fact I was a stronger woman six years ago than I am now is something that disgusts me. I was more ruthless than I'd actually want to admit, any guy I rejected will tell you how much of a 'Bitch' I truly was. Being alone after the whole Dorian incident was what tore me apart. I had nobody I could actually depend on besides my mother. My 'best friend' back then used to believe I was insane. My personality only became somewhat stable around four years ago when Roxanne and I began speaking again, after not speaking for seven years.

"Mia. I brought you a cup of hot cocoa. I know you barely ate today, there's biscuits in the kitchen, if you want." it was my mom, standing in my doorway, with a fresh cup of hot cocoa, in a mug I got from my final year at school.

"Thanks mom" I took the mug and placed it on my bedside table on the opposite side of the room.

"Have you spoken to Joseph recently?" she asks, with concern within her eyes.

"I haven't spoken to him since we wished each other well on Easter." I respond.

Last year, Easter weekend is when Joseph and I went on that 'holiday' I keep mentioning. In a way I can never look at Easter the same, ever again.

"How about you give him a call and mess with him a little bit?" my mom suggests.

I know what you're thinking, why on earth would my mother suggest this? Well, my mom is actually much cooler than most moms. She knows everything. There's almost no secret I keep from her. She's honestly one of the best friends I could ever have, of course she is still my mom, so I have a lot of respect towards her.

So I decided to dial Joe's number from an unknown line...

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