Chapter 18

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I was so mad at God... first He hurt my mom and now he made her a heart patient.
Why...? Cuz my mom loves his God so much...?? Test... a fucking test... I had given a lot of tests in school but they weren't dreadful.

My dad became nice to us... he started caring about mom but when Hadi was born, Once again my dad forgot about us... now I learned to live my life without him. Day by day my mom's health was getting worse...and one morning... I couldn't forget that worst morning... the morning which snatched my mom from me... She left me alone... She left me alone with this cruel world... She knew that I can't live without her but still... no she didn't leave willingly... His God snatched her from me.

Her God was so cruel... He did it purposely to hurt me... mom told me that God loves us but she was wrong... her God hates me... He took away my all happiness... I took a pledge that I would never believe in such craps...

There was nothing like religion or God... if it is then God is not merciful.. he loves to see us suffer.. he enjoys it when we cry... I won't live my life like my mom... I didn't want to die like her... She would be alive if she hadn't that complete faith in her God... her religion took her life...her God took her life...
And I became an atheist.

I hated Maria with my heart but I couldn't stop loving Sarah and Hadi... they loved me so much... I was a big brother to them... I ignored them for some time but later I accepted that they are my siblings.

Eventually,  my dad became a heart patient.. he missed my mom... I saw him crying holding my mom's belongings.  Maybe he was guilty... he started taking care of me...but this wasn't gonna change my heart. I stopped hating him but I just couldn't forget everything he did to us.  But his care and love had softened my heart a bit.

I was ten when I caught Maria with a man on my dad's bed. I never knew that Maria would be that low.. it disturbed me... Maria threatened me to not spit on anyone...but I confronted my dad...and my dad didn't believe me... he thought I was lying cuz I hate Maria... I was shocked.. then Maria played a game.. he accused me of stealing her jewelry and surprisingly it was in my room. My dad beat me that day and threw me outside...

I stayed the whole night outside... crying... remembering my mom... if her God wouldn't have taken her to Him she will be beside me... my hate towards her God grew stronger. 

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