One's Darkest Secrets

Prologue

PROLOGUE

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Emptiness is only a continuous black hole that goes on forever as if there is no end. While most children felt happy and safe with their parents, I felt nothing. This empty feeling inside of me that never left. I'm an orphan, with no parents, just me and my great grandfather. He considered me as his own, and yet, nothing could fill this hole inside of me. My mother passed away when I was a baby. My father wasn't always an alcoholic, but when my mother was gone, he couldn't cope. He said it was my fault for her death. I didn't want to believe him; I wanted nothing more than to deny it, but I knew he was right. She passed away while in labor, so I never got to know her. Of course, I didn't miss her. How could I when I didn't even know her? I was only six when the man I called father went to jail. Great grandfather- Toby took me in. That was the first time in a long time I got to sleep in a bed. My father would have me sleep on the cobblestone floor, freezing to death when harsh winters hit, and there was nothing but a small fireplace to heat our house.

This was the first night I dreamt. I didn't remember the dreams, but I remembered the hazy figure of a man. His eyes were dark, almost as black as night. I would wake up every night with my great grandfather shaking me. Sweat would cover my small body, my hands shaking afraid, afraid of what was waiting for me in the shadows. It was always there in my head, making me aware that I was never alone. I used to just shake it off as nothing. I couldn't stop thinking about the man who haunted my dreams and mind. There isn't a place I could run that he wouldn't find me.

I sat under an Oak tree in front of Toby's house. The Oaktree was old, its bark fading and slowly falling off. I had a small children's book in my hands. Toby started teaching me how to read and write. Most children my age couldn't or weren't allowed to, especially females. I never understood why men treated women so differently. They could do just about anything a man could do. My great grandfather said it was just how the world was. I hope that when I'm older, it will change. Toby always called me 'Petit ange', which is French for 'little angel'. He said it was because of my pure heart and free spirit.

I sat there, letting my mind wander back to the dream I had last night. It was the first dream that I remember what happened, so vivid, so real. I never understood the meaning behind these dreams. I tried talking to my grandfather about the man haunting my dreams and every wake. He would always dismiss the things I said, or a haunted look would cross his face. Maybe he thinks I'm crazy? No, that can't be it. I would be in a mental hospital if that were the case (whatever that is). I used to sneak into his office, wanting to look at all the things he collected. Once, a small box captured my attention. I let my delicate fingers trail across the top of the box. My fingers collected dust from the box that looked untouched for years. I picked it up, shocked at the weight. What was in this box that made it so heavy? Before I could open it to find out, Toby found me taking the box and hiding it somewhere I couldn't reach. He picked me up and would carry me to my room, tucking me into bed.

When the feeling of darkness overcomes you, it feels like a cool blanket. The air surrounding me chilled me to the bone. It sent shivers up my spine as the little hairs on the back of my neck stood. I wrapped my cool arms around my body, trying to create some warmth. My stomach filled with uneasiness as I slowly took a step forward. It was pitch black, and I could not see what was in front of me. If it wasn't dark, I'm sure I could see the clouds of air formed by my breath as I exhaled.

I didn't take another step forward. I waited, waited for something to jump out and grab me. All five senses heightened as my stomach tightened in anticipation. I didn't know what was going to happen next, but I was afraid. I don't understand why I'm afraid. I've been here so many times, it was like the darkness called to me, wanting me to join in. I knew this was all in my head, it's just a dream.