Before I Fall (ON HOLD)

I

Luca stared up at the stained ceiling. Stains of yellow and brown covering it like someone had down a half-arsed job of an abstract painting. He felt something moving next to him and felt a sharp pain go through his chest. The woman - who's name he couldn't remember - had dragged her nails across his chest whilst sleeping. Luca begrudgingly dragged himself off the bed and walked to what he assumed was the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror.

Not once had he had a normal conversation with the woman who's bed he'd slept in. In fact, he'd noticed he never had a conversation with the woman he chose to bed. A flirty wink and an amused smirk were all it took for Luca to have most women begging for him. Did he feel disgusted? No. Dirty? No. Tired and wanting something new? Fuck. Yes. He wanted a woman who could heal his broken soul. He was tired of waiting around and had begun to believe there wasn't anyone for him.

Luca hadn't been taught how to love. He hoped one of his meaningless one night stands could lead to something more, but was left unsatisfied every time. Growing up around a mother who danced in their living room with men surrounding her wasn't an experience that Luca remembered fondly. They would holler, hoot and egg her on. His father would sit in the corner drunk with a cheap cigarette hanging from his mouth. Neither parent could give a damn where their son was; dead or alive. Luca would sit and watch from the bottom step of the long staircase and wonder. Was this normal? Do the kids in his kindergarten class have men he didn't know in their house? Women who weren't his mother grinding on their dad?

So he did what any other curious five year old would do, he asked his teacher and described how he'd see men and women he didn't know coming into his home. He described how his mother danced while his father watched with glazed eyes. He described how the people he met would touch him in ways he didn't like. He told them everything and all the while remained innocent to the way in which the teacher's face paled and how the other children were escorted out of the room.

Luca's teacher had brought in his parents without a second thought and told them in detail what their son had described to her. Both Luca's mother and father sat with sickly sweet smiles on their face. They denied everything their son had said. They blamed it the up and coming generation of kids.

"Kids these days have access to everything in the world at their fingertips. We'd gotten Netflix on Luca's iPad for him to watch cartoons on the drive to school. We were not aware he'd gotten his hands on some graphic movies. We can assure you our family does not behave this way and will be sure to limit our son's time online."

iPad? Netflix? Cartoons? Luca wondered where his parents kept these things hidden. He wasn't aware that any of these things had been given to him. Maybe it was a surprise for his birthday, he thought.

Luca's teacher had let his parents go without a doubt. They drove home in their rusting yellow beetle that smelt of the various drugs and drinks the parents had chosen to have on their way to the school. They walked through the door and sent Luca up to his room.

"There's a surprise waiting for you," his dad had told him.

Believing it was his cartoons, he had ran up the stairs without thinking about the music that had turned on full blast in the living room. Not thinking about the men and women gathered in his home. And not noticing the four men and two women standing in the corner of his room whilst he looked on his bed for his surprise.

Luca shook his head of the memories. He was safe now. It was in the past. His parents were gone and no one was around to hurt him.

You dealt with them. You made them and everyone they knew pay for what they did to you. You're safe.

He barely noticed the woman walking up to him. Hips swaying whilst she looked at him and licked her lips.

"Wanna join me? I'm pretty sure I could be more interesting than the mirror you're staring into right now."

Luca turned and smirked at the woman. He had one hand around her waist and the other on her throat. They walked back towards the bed and collapsed onto it. Luca ghosted his lips over hers and whispered. "Show me what you're made of then."

As he let the woman go to make her way down his body, he pushed all thoughts of love and adventure to the back of his mind.

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Hi everyone! How's it going?

Thoughts? I know it's just started but are you guys wanting to read more?

Would you guys prefer something longer, shorter or was this ok?

QOTD: What's your secret to avoiding procrastination?

I personally make a list and cross off what I do (it's fulfilling that way)

- S.I.