Alignment chart above is my hottest photos from whenever. I don't think they're all from this month but it's going here because it's too blessed not to be. Now, onto the greatest mistake God ever made aka giving me the ability to speak
"You could snort a line off my arm and get high off the essential oils"
"When the bong hits: Aw yeah, Russia time"
"I have committed at least twelve sins while cooking this dish"
"My pirate name is Brittle Bones"
"We both know I hate capitalism"
"Maybe I like to suffer with seven dimensions of Sexyback"
"Just Dance 4 is my lifeblood, bitch"
"If I was a lesbian in 1920's France I would definitely be tired"
"My favorite ASMR is probably Karen Exorcises You Because You Ate Gluten"
"The only reason I know anything about kpop is from anime MMDs"
"Yeah sex is cool, but have you ever tried a Fortnite Coloring Book?"
"Like me, [my cape] is a trashbag until it goes into the sun because it SPARKLES and also turns gay"
"I don't have bones"
"You prove you're a bottom just by existing"
"Dinosaur chiken nuggi for my soul"
(Incredibly distraught at 10 am) "WHO EVEN LIKES BREAKFAST FOOD?"
"I can't touch my toes because my spine is upside inside out livin la viva loca"
"If I waltz hard enough I'll get abs"
"Technically, I'm not genetically possible"
"I have consumed nothing but stale cheese balls for the last two weeks"
"From now on I'm only taking compliments in the form of JoJo references"
"Kneecap soup! Kneecap soup!"
"As we all know, I am a snake"
"He's got more six packs than Walmart before the Super Bowl"
"I'm more ignored than a period in an Oscar Wilde book"
"I don't mean to flex but-" (hyperextends elbows)
"I'm a thot but the kind that twerks in giant inflatable suits so people don't see how flat I am"
"Jesus took the wheel but Satan has the keys"
"I'll be #1 koochie fan"
"I would come cuddle with you but we're in the Plague"
(Painting my nails yellow) "Now stop being depressed you dumb bitch"
"I AM NOT A GOOSE!"
"I may be able to snap my spine backwards at a 90 degree angle but that doesn't give you the right to bully me"
(Frantically sprinting away from a pile of pork grease) "I'M A FAILURE"
"Oh so it's weird for me to like the Lorax but futons are fine?"
(angrily) "I'M A BIG BOY!"
"Gotta work those lizard muscles"
"I feel like ass"
"You gotta kill some people to feed the rest, yknow?"
"Everyone knows you need the proper tunes to murder"
