Uh, It's the reMIX (Deku × Hospital Bed)

Bakugo Has Free Condoms

Waking up disgruntled, Midoriya felt the familiar feeling of fabric shifting under him. The blanket seemed to have snaked around his waist while he was unconscious, giving Hospital Bed the ultimate experience of feeling Midoriya up without being sus.

Getting up, Midoriya groaned, feeling a sharp pain shoot up his arm as he attempted to support himself up with one unbroken arm.

Where he clearly failed and ended up falling back onto the hospital bed again.

Midoriya felt so done at this point, like honestly, he loved Hospital Bed for always being there for him when he was injured. But seriously, he needed Hospital Bed to chill the fuck out. Looking downwards at his mattress, he notices that Hospital Bed was attempting to molest him.

Easily pulling away the large amount of bed sheets that were clumping dangerously close to his no-no area, Midoriya rolled his eyes.

"Funny seeing you here again Midoriya~" A voice emitted from the bed, so deep that it sent vibrations so strong that it rattled Midoriya's skull. It only worsened the headache that was starting to grow in his head.

"Please stop talking for a minute." Midoriya pleaded as politely as he could without saying the words "Shut the fuck up". Rubbing his temples, he sighed for what seemed the nth time of his day.

Just a few hours ago, he has been fighting Nomu × Deku supporters that were crowded around the entrance of UA. Midoriya had figured that they were just a few crazy, bulked up fangirls that had seen him at the sports festival, and originally planned to solve this peacefully by putting the cursed ship to rest. But that was not the case.

Turns of the fangirls were actually Nomu themselves that had fought Midoriya before and happened to see his abs on a Deku fansite somewhere. They were all about lewding minors too. So they managed to (somehow grow even better brains) team up and protest against the Nomu × Deku antis.

Midoriya had barely managed to defeat them then since the Nomu fangirls had been all over him ripping his uniform to pieces trying to lick his abs just like Pico with ice cream on a shirt. Using One For All had done a great deal on his arms, but thankfully after having his shirt ripped up, the Nomu was blinded by the glory of his abs so Midoriya managed to defeat all of them way easier than it should've been.

Meanwhile, Shigiraki was disintegrating all Midoriya's ab pics from the stash he found with the Nomu. But what he didn't know was that Toga had a bigger stash of her own that she had replaced feathers with for her pillow.

How these were taken, we will never know.

After Recovery Girl smacked the shit out of Hospital Bed for attempted sexual harassment on Midoriya, she checked up on his broken arm one last time and sent him off to class, smacking away the bedsheets that had attempted to pull Midoriya back into the bed.

Midoriya finally walked out of the medical room, with the echoes of Hospital Bed's screams left behind him as Recovery Girl beat the shit out of them. Yelling something along the lines of "YOU'RE LUCKY THAT MIDORIYA'S A NICE KID! NEXT TIME, YOU'RE TAKING RESPONSIBILITY IF THE STUDENTS SUE US FOR BEING SEXUALLY HARASSED BY A BED!" Which eventually faded away after walking a distance from the medical room.

Hearing loud stomping behind him, Midoriya raised his eyebrows. Based on how they landed on the floor, the stomper was clearly angry and headed towards his way. Calculating every millisecond of the stomping and listening very carefully to how that person breathed, Midoriya instantly knew. Because for his whole life, he was practically gay for this man but in the no homo way.

It didn't make sense, but nothing made sense in Midoriya's life anyway so he wasn't very bothered by this.

"OiiIiiIII DeKU!"