Uh, It's the reMIX (Deku × Hospital Bed)

Dakota is enby, but such a Daddy though.

Dakota did it.

It was holy.

Dakota held the wrist of their right hand tightly. It was trembling, quivering, and they could still feel it, the heat lingering.

"My bare hands..." Dakota mumbled as they headed back slowly towards the medical room, "My bare flesh..."

"No more blankets...no more somnophilia( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)..."

They stopped.

Slowly, they raised their right hand, clenched in a fist, "I..."

Then with a mighty thrust, Dakota pumps their fist into the air, "...I DID IT! I GROPED HIS ASS WITH MY BARE HANDS!"

Dakota trembled with excitement, they could hardly contain themselves. Dakota was yodeling their whole way back, the feeling of the firmness of Midoriya's ass still lingered in their palms, that one hand practically glowing.

Dakota never noticed Edgeshot walking past them, staring at them weirdly.

Dakota proceeded to hole themselves up against a corner in the medical room to get the full one-on-one sniffing experience with the holy hand. Bible and holy water lay forgotten on the other end of the room.

.
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Meanwhile, Class 1A was clustered around the blackboard where Midoriya had gone into shock. With Mina holding Midoriya's limp body in her arms, they refused to let Midoriya go to the medical room.

"But he's clearly in shock right now," Aizawa sighed, "He needs more rest, Midoriya can't walk and can't talk, he won't be able to take class seriously in the state he is in now."

"But sir, you don't understand! We weren't exaggerating, he really was molested by Dakota!" Mina cried, holding Midoriya's body tighter in her grasp, trying desperately to save the last remaining bits of Midoriya's purity. "If he sees Dakota again, he might really die from embarrassment!"

"'Dying from embarrassment' isn't a real thing, Mina."

"Sir, please just let him rest in the classroom!" Kirishima pushed to the front of the crowd in front of Aizawa, clasped his hand together and pleaded.

"Yeah sir!" Kaminari chimed in, "Dude literally had his ass groped in front of everyone."

"Language, Kaminari."

"Sorry, Mr. Aizawa."

"Look mon ami," Aoyama slid up next to Kaminari, smooth as a snake. With a hand delicately on his chest and his smile turned upwards into a 'v', as he gave his suggestion.

"I think our dear friend here should have a little more spice in his life, you know?" Aoyama suggested, quite...suggestively. "I say we send him to the medical room, no doubt he'll have the time of his life with Dakota there-"

Aoyama got cut off from a blast that sent him straight flying over Midoriya and crashing into the blackboard, stuck onto it, twitching. The blackboard cracked and chipped like concrete while Aoyama wheezed in pain.

As Aoyama used his blood to shakily write his death message onto the board, Bakugo scoffed at the sight, his smoking palms stuffed back into his pant pocket.

"Listen here, you fucking extra." (Aizawa: "Language.") Bakugo growled, "I don't wanna listen to your stupid remarks on the nerd's love life, alright? That's the nerd and Dickota's personal matter, they'll figure it out. Just throw Deku back to his seat and start the fucking lesson already."

Huffing, Bakugo muttered, "Why do I even bother with these dimwits..." Stomping back to his seat, he sat down abruptly and said no more.

Kirishima gave him a round of applause, "SO MANLY, BAKUBRO! Although, pretty sure his name is Dakota, instead of Dickota."