6 may 12:12pm

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i hope you all know that i'm trying.

i'm really really trying.

i don't get the appreciation for the things that i do, yet i get scolded for the things i don't get to.

i'm busy.

it may not seem like it, but i have a billion things i'm dealing with and i wish y'all could just see that. understand it. have some sympathy.

but, no.

all i end up with is phrases like "do this" and "do that" and "why aren't you finished yet" and "what have you been doing this whole time" and "why haven't you done this" and "quit acting like you're helpless"

did you ever think about the fact that it's not an act?

the reality that you won't accept because it states me as a colossal failure upon life?

because in that reality, i don't life up to your expectations. i'm not who you want me to be. i'm truly helpless in the way that i am because i've tried absolutely everything in the books and on the streets.

that reality is this reality.

i'm falling apart.

five other people i have constant contact with, and none of them can witness me tearing at the seams.

not one seems to notice.

not one seems to care.

not one seems like family.

they are.

-12:19pm

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