Do You See Her Face? (A Jess Mariano Fanfiction)

Eardrum Torture

Disclaimer: All Gilmore Girls content belongs to Amy Sherman-Palladino.

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Four days. She had four days left until the applications were due, and she was about ready to rip out her hair. A Wednesday evening brought with it October wind and thick clouds. Though she had the night off, she sat wringing her hands over a scattered pile of papers at a corner table in the diner. It had been danish day, Luke rushing around to accommodate the breakfast and afternoon crowds, and the restaurant was equally packed at dinner. Ella raked her hands through her messy hair, tying it up in a ponytail and blowing loose strands from her eyes. Her nails were bitten down and she had dark circles under her eyes. The only solace was her knowing the torture would soon end. Envelopes were addressed, the stamps were bought, the essays were written, but she couldn't manage to feel as though the applications were finished.

In all honesty, she knew there was no real reason for all the nerves. It wasn't as though any of the colleges she was applying to were her dream schools. Financial aid could do some help, but it was simply fruitless to spend application fees on Berkley when she knew she would never be able to go anyway. Instead, the state schools and community colleges which made up her list were modest and affordable. And her father and Fiona were glad to have her able to live at home. No one would have to pick up her chores, and they could save for the wedding.

And she couldn't bring herself to be angry with them. Disappointment was there, but she knew it was simply realistic. They couldn't pay for the schools, and they didn't want her to be buried in debt for the rest of her life. She could appreciate that, especially when she was likely to end up with a degree in something she wasn't particularly passionate about. What could one do with an art degree anyway? She would settle for something stable, in business or economics, instead of starving for her hopeless dreams. Blowing out a breath, she tried to wake herself up by widening her eyes as she picked up an essay about a significant person in her life to read over for the third time. She'd actually had to write it twice, considering how illegible her cursive was in the first draft.

Rapping his knuckles on the table, Jess sat down across from her with a smirk and a plate in his hand. "Sweepin' those chimneys nonstop, huh?"

Ella rolled her eyes. "Bite me."

"You're gonna give yourself a headache," he said, holding the plate with the turkey sandwich out before her. It was nearly closing, and she still hadn't ordered any dinner. He took the liberty of making something for her. Lately, she'd been forgetting to eat altogether.

"Well, we all have to make sacrifices sometimes," she muttered flatly.

"Look," Jess sighed, "just take a break for a second, alright? I'll read it for you if you want."

She cleared her throat in annoyance, then finally tossed a glance his way. Before she could help it, her stomach growled at the sight of the sandwich. Classic turkey was her favorite. Jess smirked, but said nothing. Ella narrowed her eyes at him and stared him down for a moment, then finally relented. They did a quick exchange, Jess with her paper and Ella with the ceramic plate.

"Thank you," she said tiredly.

A smug smile painted his face as he began reading the essay. "You're welcome, Stevens."

As she ate, he read, brows furrowed in concentration. His face was indecipherable, and her stomach rolled with anxiety at him looking over her work. The sandwich was gone almost instantly, and she hadn't realized how hungry she was. Luke was making preparations for closing as the last few customers finished up their dinners. The last pot of coffee was empty, and the twinkling lights in the square illuminated the dim evening in a cozy whitish-yellow glow. She licked mayo from her thumb and wiped her mouth with a napkin, finished eating, just as Jess turned the paper over and set it back down on the table.