Fond ★ Jaebum

Selfish woman

Time went by and I still didn't see him around nor heard about him. He talked to me a few times on snap. That's it. It was short but I wish those short moments with him never ended would have lasted forever. I don't understand why do I think so much about someone that I randomly met and don't know much about. Someone that I am not close with. I always wondered.. How is he doing? Is he safe? Is he healthy? What is he doing? What does he think of? What's on his mind? Literally anything that crossed my mind about him would fil my thoughts and that for the entire day. I don't understand how come does a stranger has that much of an impact on me. I don't even know his name.. I wish I would have at least asked that.. I had him on social media but never texted him. Sending a message is simple. Simplest thing you can do. However, I didn't really know how to approach him and what to say. Also, if he really wanted to talk to me it would be happening right now right? It's just safer to assume that and not make up any ideas. I don't wanna be delusional. I will just hurt myself in the end and I definitely do not need that. Kinda selfish for someone who doesn't even try make a single first move while he is doing everything right? I know. I'm a terrible selfish woman. I probably do not deserve this bond with him but I still genuinely want it. It's weird for me to even want it "genuinely" when I'm not even genuine with myself. Am I too demanding..? However, I miss him but I have to let this go. There's nothing I can do so I believe that I should just accept it. The believer of fate that I am just thought that it is s better to leave it all to fate. Maybe we aren't fated by the red threads of fate after all.. Maybe we aren't tied by a tied knot that cannot be undone..