Changes

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The changes are difficult and they come too quickly, nearly carried on each others' backs.

It was only a nesting cycle between the edges of the forest crying warning and the erection of a dwelling nearby. There are days when I groan, caressing the dead roots still touching mine. Sometimes I forget myself and try to speak to the others that remain nearby, but we are no longer connected by living roots. I could call over the breeze, but have not found the strength of will to do so. Perhaps I'm afraid that those nearby have chosen to sleep and will never answer me. It is a tempting thought, to live in mindless existence, rejecting awareness and conscious life.

Except, now, there is a pack that has claimed me. This involves many changes all at once, changes which pull me far from the thought of sleeping.

Sometimes birds and squirrels chose my branches. Sometimes foxes and voles hid among my roots. I never acted to protect or hinder any, and neither would I rebuff their search for a home or a hiding place. On rare occasions, a pack of some kind adopted me as a place of meeting, or an important territory marker. I watched their attempts to claim me as their own with amusement. The great lengths they went to assert that claim, no matter the species, was flattering, if inconsequential. I am myself and I am... was... of the forest, and belonged to no single pack no matter how pungently they marked me. They came. They went. They lived. They died. I remained.

It is no cause for amusement now. Among a mass of these creatures who can bring my entire family down, being claimed by a pack is like raising a small grove around me. Protective. They loan me strength and safety. For the first time, I am grateful that a pack that has asserted dominance, for I no longer have the collective strength of the forest supporting me.

But this is not like any pack I have ever seen. Indeed, not even those of us who once grew at the edges sent back tales of humans who lived like this. It seems to be a matriarchal pack of mixed species. The way Vivi carries herself and interacts with the others marks her as the leader. Arthur does not seem to have any sort of leadership role, but is highly valued for skills or knowledge that I do not understand. I cannot discern what occurs within the dwelling, but their interactions give no indication of mating or courtship between them.

The other two pack members concern me. One is the spirit of a human male named Lewis, who died. Arthur's stories about this are not easy to absorb, but he seems to have had some fault in this. It has to do with his missing arm and the corruption that was briefly there. I am still unclear how Lewis and Arthur returned to being pack together.

There are parts of the dwelling that I can see into, and if Vivi is in sight, Lewis is often nearby. He behaves much more like a creature in courtship with her, though she rebuffs all signals.

I do not see Lewis often. I have not observed him departing the dwelling, and I prefer it to remain this way. He is spirit and flame. Could I withstand an inferno? Likely, but I do not wish to suffer through that. Perhaps, with enough rest, I can recover strength enough to keep him at a set distance.

The final pack member is a creature of magic called Mystery, hiding in the guise of a common animal. I understand none of his motivations and that is most frightening. He is the greatest potential threat to my will. He knows what I am, perhaps how weak I am. What keeps him from exploiting that?

Then again, what keeps him subservient to Vivi? He rolls over and presents his belly to her on a regular basis. Even here, she is matriarch. Does she comprehend her position in this pack? She seems to accept it without full understanding.

Arthur told me that he has requested the others give me "some space" for "a while". I do not think any of them understand what those words mean.

Arthur's presence is not intrusive, he makes no demands on me. He talks, and I can tell from his voice that even his questions are not asked with any hope of being answered. It is soothing to have him nearby, speaking words with no expectation.

However, when he is not at the dwelling and Vivi is, then many questions are asked of me with great expectation. Vivi waves magical boxes and wands at me to determine things. What she determines seems to give her great excitement or disappointment. She takes care to keep these activities concealed from Arthur, but not from the others. And when she is done, Mystery walks back and forth on the grass, pretending to perform normal animal activities, as if I can't tell he's watching me.

There is little I could do if Mystery chose to exert his will over mine. I would have to submit or sink into sleep to escape him forever. I am completely reliant on this pack for my protection, and I am unsure if I can trust half of them. Is it truly a passive claim on this land that protects me, or are they doing battle with other packs in a place I cannot see?

The "tree-care" humans must return to discern how my recovery is progressing. It is too soon to know whether removing diseased limbs from my body will save me, however, there is less rot and rancor in me. Arthur spoke to me, one day, about how he had to visit the people who removed his limb and how frightened he was. He said it had to be done, that it was important to keep him healthy, but how that didn't make it any easier.

His words make it possible for me to endure the thought of the tree-care humans returning, even if they were to take another limb from me. He said that is possible, but that "if it needs to be done, it needs to be done." I trust him. I will endure. But I hope there is no further need to remove limbs from either of us.

This pack is the reason I do not choose sleep. Perhaps Mystery is their guard, but he is not always watching. Perhaps Lewis is their guard, but a ghost has great weaknesses. Someone must watch, always. Someone must be aware. But that raises a difficult question.

These changes have been so large that they swallowed up a forest. There has never been something like this in all the memory of our family. Does a change this vast mean that I, also, must change? The balance between prey and predator is so altered that nothing I am capable of can restore it. If that is so, if that is how things are now, then might I... might I choose? There are creatures that still may hunt this pack, powerful though they are as a whole. Might I choose to warn the pack? Deprive a hunter of its prey? This pack stand between me and my own hunters, a thing which has never been needed before. How, then, can I remain inactive if I see their danger?

I turn from this question every time it rises in me. Every side of it is painful to consider. A wrongness that is not wrong, but that is the madness of things as they are. I must find the answer soon, though, because there are hunters that would consume them. I am sure of it. I have learned that there is a hunter for every creature in the world, even for other hunters. I must know the answer before it is needed.

"Hi, Yettle." The sun is low in the sky. Night draws near and Arthur has returned. He is down by my roots with... soil. Soil from some other place. He spreads it around my base. It is rich. Delightful. "Got this from the nursery the other day. They gave me a few tips. If I really get something wrong, you're going to have to let me know somehow, but unless you yell at me, I'll assume what I'm doing is okay."

This is something else that is new and strange. When, before this, have I ever been tended? Before the rot set into my body, I had no need of it. After the harsh care, I think I do not need more. At the same time, it is a comfort. An added kindness.

He settles into his usual spot, leaning up against my trunk, to tell me the inconsequentials of his day, things I couldn't understand if I listened for his whole life. I set the difficult question aside for now. There is time enough to listen to another stream of words as the air grows cool and the moon gleams ever brighter in the sky.

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Note: Happy birthday to my friend, Misty, for whose special day this chapter was written! She wanted to know Yettle's take on the current situation. Well. That was pretty easy once I got started, and lots of fun to write.

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