annihilation || c.h

001

Elective Mutism Calum's therapist wrote on a blank sheet. Calum just laid in the lounge, his face to the back of it. He played with the hair that was dangling infront of his face.

"You don't need to speak, I get paid anyway." He spoke, "But I suggest if you want to stop coming and for me to report good progress to your lawyer, you need to at least describe to me what you saw."

"What did you write down?" Calum mumbled. He didn't wanna speak of himself, anything else but him.

Calum was mostly exhausted. The past few days were hell for him, and it had mostly dried him out to a husk. Most days, he lost track of time as he rested in his bed yet today was different. He was forced to leave his bed and at least go to therapy. He looked at his hands for a moment, not really feeling them at all. He felt dissociated from the world.

"That you're coward now. That if you don't speak, no one will ask you about what you saw." His therapist spoke, to what Calum found, rather rudely. "Elective Mutisme, often associated with trauma." He textbook quoted for Calum.

Calum just nodded, still refusing to face him. He felt tears rolling down his face, unsure why. He was a textbook description of a problem. As thought what he saw happened more often than just to him. He shook his head, not wanting to imagine a PSTD anonymous group therapy session.

"Calum?" The therapist spoke.

"Hm?"

"You're times up, and there's a boy with curly hair and glasses peeking in the window by the door. I think he's your friend." He spoke which provoked a groan by Calum. The last thing he wanted was for Ashton to see him cry.

"Okay."

"He's also got a friend with him." The therapist spoke. "But really, you need to go."

Calum rolled his eyes and slowly pulled himself out of the chair. His lip quivered but he steadied himself as he adjusted his messenger back onto his shoulder.

He gave his therapist a hand gesture for 'goodbye' and went towards the door. As soon as he opened the door, Ashton pulled him into a tight hug. Calum stood there, his face unwillingly pushed into the other boys chest. He stood like that for god knows how long until he realized he had been crying and Iss was standing beside him, eyes wide.

"How'd you know I'd be here?" Calum asked and wiped his eyes with the back of his dry hand. He had never mention to Ashton anything of his therapy and then felt guilty, hoping Ash wouldn't be mad.

"I haven't see you in weeks, mate." Ashton reached down and took Calum's hand in his. Cal could feel Iss' inners cringings. "Not since they kicked us out of the bar and you were leaving in a stretcher."

Calum furrowed his brows. He couldn't think of anything past the body. The dead, bleeding, leaking, dirty, smelly, rotten, red, wounded, horrorfying body of the innocent man.

Calum put his eyes back into focus and was now looking at a squatting Ashton. He must of fell back onto the ground while thinking.

"M'sorry, what?"

"Let's get you home, Cal, you need some rest. You've done well enough for one day." Ashton hugged Calum tight then helped him up to stand. Calum's knees were horribly weak but he made it to atleast the car.

«»

Calum sobbed into Ashton's chest, clutching Ash's grey shirt tightly in his fists. Every time he opened his mouth, nothing but shaky breaths escaped. Ashton just laid there, accepting Calum's tears. He didn't try to force the story out of Calum.

When Calum finally calmed down, Iss entered the room and said a quiet 'ill be back' and left the room. Calum hoped he wouldn't come back for the night.

"Let's go downstairs, yeah?" Ashton said and Cal nodded, rubbing his thumb under his eye. He could feel how puffy his face was and that under his eyes was quickly drying to a salty air.

He followed Ashton down the stairs and sat on the bottom step, watching Ashton go into the kitchen. He had an empty thought to the girl he shared the moment with and wondered what she was doing now. Was she feeling the same way as him? Had she been crying? Calum hoped he could get to know her.

Even though they hadn't started off in the best manner, with just the sexual benefits in mind instead of her well-being. Not that he was also in the right mind to think anything else other than that.

Ashton gave Calum a small cup of tea and then sat across him on the floor.

"Iss said this isn't the first incident." Ashton said quietly, as though Calum might shatter. Calum just nodded. "What else has happened?"

Words flew through his mind left in right. Well, it started when I was taking acid with your really hot cousin when I was in year eleven. Too detailed. Probably when I was accused of murduring my parents. Not right. It was a dark and stormy night...

No sentence was going well, no matter how hard he thought at it. Ashton didn't poke and by the time he heard any coherent word out of Calum, he had finished his tea.

"M'dunno..." Calum shrugged.

"I feel like I'm missing something." Ashton bit his lip. "When you decide you trust me, give me a ring." Ashton had been being so nice but this took Calum by shock, which made him drop his cup on the open step in front of his feet. Ashton didn't even turn back
to check on Calum, he just stomped out the door.