Chaos Rising ➳ Kylo Ren

Chapter Three | Guilt

Hera

Days went quickly, and my injuries were healing quicker than anticipated. The nurses praised that their treatments were aiding in my recovery, but I believed otherwise.

I've tried on multiple occasions now to speak to Kylo on resuming my training, only to be met with a blunt no or a closed door. I rarely see him in his own bedroom now, and I can't help but wonder if he's found sleeping arrangements elsewhere. Our link is still there, but it's distant, as if it were now a piece of loosely tied string threatening to tear.

I don't feel his emotions as loudly anymore. Adoration, loyalty, love... It used to be so prominent, so warm and inviting.

Now all I feel is the acknowledgement that he can sense me, but another feeling has knotted its way into our bond.

Guilt.

But I wasn't going to waste my time on a feeling. I was for once eager to speak to the Supreme Leader, yet all of my requests to speak to the overside raisin had been denied. If it weren't for the fact I wasn't at my healthiest, I would be storming into the throne room in no time.

The only two people that could assist me with my abilities, and both are refusing to aid in my training. What happened to all of this 'potential' I had? I was to be an asset, yet my presence was no longer needed?

Men.

The bedroom became the training room, since I was not allowed out. I could sense the three men that stood outside the door, making small conversation. Maker knew if I wanted to leave I could force them away, but this was the only space I had to myself.

Every chance I got, I would be practicing with the force, whether it be lifting various objects or myself. I had started small, levitating items belonging to Kylo before attempting to lift myself. It was shaky, but I had quickly learned that it was easier to train when there wasn't a big man baby yelling at you with every mistake.

"I don't appreciate the names." Kylo's voice echoes through my mind, causing the hold on myself to falter. I groan, choosing to ignore him as I force myself higher.

"What are you doing Princess?" He asks, and I can picture him tilting his head perfectly.

"Training, since you won't do anything." I reply aloud, choosing to ignore the small butterflies in my stomach at hearing princess.

"You aren't ready." I huff in response, knowing he's lying.

It had been so long since Kylo had a proper conversation, it was as if I was starved of speech.

"I can't see you, why is that?"  He sounds almost angry at the discovery.

"Learned a new trick in your absence, do you approve?" Dread floods the link, and my eyes open at the strong sensation. "I take it you don't."

"Can you see me?"

"I can."

His head whips around, as if he would be greeted with my presence, but he's met with a wall of electronics.

"You're on the lower level," I smirk. "Sector four, seventh door from the entry."

"You ne-"

"Shall I continue? Should I tell you what that technician on your right is thinking about you right now?" I interrupt, watching as Kylo sharply turns his head to the technician working away.

"Her-"

"Or that I know what colour underwear you're wearing right now? I must say, red is definitely your colour."

"Hera." Kylo clenches his fist, and I laugh loudly.

"Still think I'm not ready Commander?" The smirk on my face would surely scare a child right now.

"You need to be careful Herana," My stomach drops at the sound of my name, and for the fact Kylo is now speaking through his thoughts, instead of out loud. "You need to stop while you can."

"What are you keeping from me Kylo?" I let myself descend to the bed below, my hands gliding over the fabric of the sheets.

"You just," He shakes his head, sighing to himself. "You have to stop."

"Do you forget why you brought me with you? What I left my home for?" I retort, feeling the anger rise within me.

The familiar feeling of guilts tugs at our bond at the mention of my home, and I roll my eyes.

"I don't forget, but plans change."

"You and I both know I wasn't a plan," I scoff. "Can you please come to the bedroom? So we can talk about this properly?"

"I can't, there are matters I have to attend." At his words, a flash of a girl enter his mind, but they're gone before I could blink.

"What is it that you aren't telling me?" Who by the Makers grace, was that?

"Please do not do anything stupid."  I roll my eyes yet again.

"Sorry, stupid is the only thing I know how to do well."

"Her-"  I shut him away before he can finish, and his annoyance is felt through the link in retaliation.

Who was that? Surely I would've met another woman in Kylo's life by now, whether it be through his thoughts or through conversion. He was quick to remove her from his mind quickly however, and a swift feeling of jealousy rises through me. I curse myself for the feeling. Kylo was free to do what (or who) he pleased, as was I. We didn't own each other, but I couldn't deny the disappointment that flooded me, knowing he would've found someone during my absence.

Maker, here I am making up scenarios in my mind over something that may not be true. This woman could be an ally, an enemy, family even, there was no point in getting my heart hurt over something unknown.

I shake my arms out, letting myself focus again. I'm about to raise myself again when a thought hits me, what became of my armour?

When I was struck, the armour was pierced, but surely the kept my helmet? Or something of the rather. I grumble to myself, frustrated at the knowledge that they without a doubt would have discarded my attire at the orders of a certain commander.

Requesting a new suit would have to been done secretly, but I can't help but think to how anxious Kylo sounded just before, even talking through his thoughts. Who could we trust? Who could I trust? 

The circle grew smaller and smaller.

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Not edited.

Small filler chapter.

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B