broken// Dylan O'Brien

Chapter 1

I look down at the lined sheet of paper in my hands that contained my last words. The page was filled with not only words, but my aggressive sadness and tears. I folded the paper once in half and laid it down on my desk, sighing deeply in the process. I stood up from my seat and began walking towards my bed, not being able to complete the journey. My legs collapsed and my whole body just laid there,on the cool floor. Not making an attempt to get up, i just lay there, my tears freely slipping.

I'm so fucking pathetic,i thought.

Many other negative thoughts -about myself- began to roam my mind.

It's strange isn't it, why is it that whenever we are alone our negative thoughts hit us harder than ever before?It feels like the second you are all by your lonesome, the beast is released, the beast being your every own thoughts.

My sobs became louder and the tears began falling harder than ever. My chest began to ache badly and the lump in my throat was only making it more difficult to breathe. I soon began gasping for air, not because i wanted to continue living, but because this wasn't the way i planned to die -Here on my dirty bedroom floor crying-.

Using every ounce of strength in me, I slowly stood up and sat on the edge of my bed, instantly placing my head in both my hands. I just sat there and deeply breathed.

Inhale, exhale i repeated in my mind until my breathing was back to normal.

A few moments later, i decided it was finally time.

I grabbed the thick, orange rope and firmly tied it to the bars, making sure to also create a circle in the rope to fit my head. Sliding my wooden chair from my desk, i placed it under where the rope hung.

I stopped for a moment and observed the scenery. The more i looked, the more i thought about what i was going to do.

What about Grandma and Grandpa? How will they react to all of this?
the voice in my head asked. They'll be fine without me, they'll be even better with me gone. I reassured myself.

Do i really want to do this? The voice returned. It's too late to back out now.

I carefully walked over to the chair, lifting one leg up first to gain balance, then the other. I slowly grabbed the hard rope and placed it gently around my neck, re-thinking once again what i am about to do.

The second the rope hit my shoulders, thoughts came rushing at me questioning everything. I almost backed out, but then i said "fuck it." and stepped off the chair.

"Jennifer no!" A figure came rushing at me, but that was all i saw until the darkness took over.