〖Confinement | SNK Oneshot Collection〗

〖Proud | Armin x Reader〗

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𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬 | 𝐒𝐡𝐞/𝐇𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 | 𝟑 | 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 | 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐲

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | 𝐋𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐚 𝐬𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞
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Fear, something that you were all too familiar with and had to succumb to daily. Trauma induced nightmares and mental breakdowns weren't uncommon nowadays, in fact, they were becoming apart of the daily routine, whether you liked it or not. It wasn't something you spoke about, you preferred to deal with it alone, although now you realized how much you wanted to open up, seeing as how recently there had been so many lost, opening up to those who are left didn't seem that bad of an option now. As well as to carry out a promise you made, and with this motive in mind, you were off to see someone. 

You were slowly making your way toward the library of the temporary base you and a few others were staying in for the time being. It seemed like a lifetime since you last had worn casual clothing. Feeling around the bruises on your arms and chest, weirdly enough you could have sworn you felt some phantom gear on your body. Alas, you were wearing an average blouse with a casual skirt paired with comfortable slippers. Although you were built to withstand the stress of maneuvering in ODM gear, the past weeks have been very strenuous physically. And that wasn't even brushing how you felt emotionally. 

If you weren't working, you were by the side of your best friend, and or, you were alone, crying away your stress and grief. You weren't one to break under pressure, although one ordeal in specific had you feeling completely demoralized and sensitive to most thoughts. This wasn't the first time you were experiencing these feelings, but nothing before had ever been on this scale. The trauma kept you up at night, endlessly rolling around and sometimes sobbing into your pillow silently as your comrades slept peacefully. 

Breathing in deep, you blinked hard and pressed the bad thoughts to the back wall of your mind to be dealt with later. You had arrived at the library now, and that meant you had to fulfill that promise you made not long ago. Standing in front of the rickety old door, you turn the doorknob and enter the library silently. Feeling the strain within your joints still, you take your time when seeking out the person you had to talk with. 

A few large bookshelves filled with hardly any books, some windows with sheer curtains. Nothing particularly special. Although the floorboards were unexpectedly silent as you leisurely made your way around. You spot a burgundy couch at the rearmost of the room, a large open window behind it letting in the cool air.

As you venture in further to inspect it, you hear the flip of a page. Peeking around a bookshelf, you stare at the far end of the couch that was just out of your line of sight. Sitting there on the far end of the sofa was Armin, curled up reading while using his knees as a sort of plinth for his book. The window behind him let in a fine, cooling breeze that pleasantly swayed his blonde locks. 

Armin Arlert. The underdog of the 104th cadet corps, and undoubtedly the person you cherished the most. The only comrade that managed to keep you grounded in the worst of situations, who was also blissfully unaware of the 3-year long crush you've had on him. 

For a few short moments, you surveyed his delicate form. Swallowing hard, you approach him with heavy intentions. Struggling to keep a steady voice, you speak out, "Good morning, Armin."
The blonde boy's head shot up, looking up at you with startled eyes. Those beautiful sky-blue eyes. 
   "(F/N)..." Soft-spoken and shy, as he always was. "Good morning, you startled me." A drained half-chuckle escaped his lips. 
   "Sorry about that," Sitting down on the other end of the couch, you feel your bones settle uncomfortably as the pressure of standing was lifted from them. "I need to talk to you about something. It's important." Your hands find themselves tightly intertwined on your lap, fidgeting nervously. 
   Armin closed his book with his index finger on the page he was on. Gazing into your eyes, concern was written all over his face. Predominantly in his thick eyebrows. "What is it? Are you alright?" 
   "As alright as the situation allows me to be," You laugh weakly. "It's something I've been meaning to get off my chest for a...long time." 
   He nods in acknowledgment, urging you to continue. If only it were that easy to just tell him that you had overwhelming feelings for him. 
   "So, back at Shinganshina, when you..." You felt the sting of tears in your eyes already, thinking back to that moment of absolute horror was still difficult, "When you sacrificed yourself," Finishing that one statement already had you at the brink of tears. How would you get through this without becoming a blubbering mess? "It made me realize something I hadn't come to terms with until now."
   You take your sleeve and quickly wipe the tears that were escaping from your now red eyes. His reaction was quick, setting down his book on the table in front of him and scooting closer to you laying a hand on your trembling shoulders he asks: "What's wrong?" The soft tone quickly turned into one of alarm.
   "Look, I just- It's hard to explain and I'm sorry that you have to deal with me like this-" Vocally, you sounded destroyed. This broke Armin's heart.
   "No, it's alright (F/N), take your time. I'm not going anywhere." His voice was comforting but equally as terrifying in this situation. 
   Breathing in deeply, you raise your head to stare at him directly. Knowing you had to do this, you mustered as much courage as you could and said: "Armin, I love you." 

There was a moment of silence after your statement, allowing a breeze to pass between you both peacefully. His eyes gaze deep into yours, wide and utterly focused. Time couldn't have gone slower, and just as you were about to turn away, Armin embraced you tightly, leaving you speechless. 

   "I never knew," Elation permeated his voice, it was light with glee. And his grasp on you was tight and endearing. By now you were sobbing into his brown sweater, no doubt leaving more than one wet spot from the fountain of tears and your leaky nostrils. Relief washed over you as you held him tight. Nothing felt more comforting than this moment, especially with how dreadful you have been feeling as of late. 

After holding each other for a while, the tears subsided and your face became dry, although it was still red. You pull away and gasp at the mess you left on his shoulder. 
   "Armin, your sweater I'm so sorry-" Grabbing the sleeve on your blouse, you reach to clean it. Armin grabs your hand, smiling. 
   "Don't worry about it. Also...I think I should specify that I...um," The grip on your hand tightened ever so slightly. "I love you too, (F/N)." He returned, his cheeks now rosy. Watching him blush made you realize your embarrassment, feeling the heat creep onto the surface of your skin making you even more abashed. 

Your promise was fulfilled, but it wasn't the only thing that you needed to tell him. 

Thinking back to a few days ago, during the retaking of wall Maria, you recall the particularly troubling circumstances you were faced with. More specifically, the situation that sprouted the new trauma that would haunt you each night.

During the retaking of wall Maria, you found yourself In a horrifying circumstance. That day was a reminder of how cruel this world truly was, but also a reminder to cherish everything for as long as it existed. Otherwise, everything you love will be taken from you.

Undeniably the worst battle you've ever had to overcome wasn't fighting the armored titan or any shifter for that matter. It was sending your best friend off to conduct a dangerous plan in confronting the colossal titan, only to see his burnt corpse lying lifelessly on a rooftop minutes later and having to fight for his survival with nobody willing to listen. 

Most have described it as a meltdown, never in front of you, but you still heard their quieted chatter. Even so, it was something you had no control over. As hard as it was to remember details, the feeling of true despair never left you.

The remaining comrades that were left could barely tell you what had happened to Armin when you discovered his charred remains. Initially, you didn't believe them, the Armin you knew was pale, had soft blonde hair, and a cute face that would lighten up your day. Not a scorched corpse. Although seeing Mikasa and Eren breaking down changed your outlook. Their instant dread was unlike anything you had seen from either of them, it was different. This had convinced you that the worst had happened. What you feared the most above all else.

Fear and denial consumed you, taking away your strength to stand. Falling to your knees, deep inner desperation that no one anticipated had awoken within you. The absolute terror that ensued within that moment of realization was nothing like anyone would have ever expected from you, the diligent soldier who never lost their repose was now on their knees, screaming and sobbing for the last person they hadn't lost to this hell.

Although for a split moment, when Levi revealed the titan serum that you had forgotten, you were eager to rush him to inject it. That bit of hope was quickly extinguished when Floch came along with an opposing corpse, Erwin's corpse, there started the battle that would keep you up at night for the weeks to come.

Your heart could have completely stopped then, and you never would have realized it. This was the part when the memories got far more clouded, the part where your comrades were most eager to tell you about. When Levi was talking about injecting the serum into Erwin, something within you snapped and it brought the thought of attacking Levi, believing that overpowering your captain and stealing the serum would guarantee Armin's life. Although, you didn't get very far once you began to charge him. Jean grabbed both of your arms and held you back tightly while Connie quickly grabbed your gear as to immobilize you. It was very difficult for them, you were desperate, despaired, and now unstable. They tried dragging you farther back to protect Levi, leaving you to kick and scream miserably, shouting to choose Armin, why he was so important to you, unknowingly revealing your romantic feelings for him in front of your comrades. Once Levi had made his decision he had everyone shift positions from the roof they were on. Jean was the one who had to carry you away with much struggle, Connie tagging along to assist him. After landing on an adjacent building, Jean held your arms still, speaking out to you words you couldn't comprehend. The urge to attack was gone, and you were left to feel utterly despaired, having to stare at Levi approach Erwin's mutilated body alongside Armin's blackened one. Watching Levi prepare to inject Erwin was too much, and soon you collapsed under the intensity of the situation, sinking from Jean's arms into unconsciousness.

Hours later, you awoke to a suppressed voice speaking on your right, the few words you could make out where something about the injection, and what happened after. The sun was bright and you rolled over on your side to evade the bright beams. Your mouth was dry, and your entire body ached, coupled with a throbbing headache to top it all off. Feeling the need to rest longer, you curl up, trying to get comfortable on the hard surface you were laying on. After doing this a higher voice chimed in frantically. Soon, two hands crashed onto your shoulders and you heard the voice much more clearly as it was right in your face. 

Groggily your eyes open and stare up at the figure who had their hands on your shoulders. When the environment came into focus, a torrent of memories flooded your mind. Although you couldn't recollect everything, still you realized the result of what you had remembered.

   "(F/N)! Are you alright? Please-" Armin was gripping way harder than you could handle, and you let out a groan of pain in response to his question. 
   "She's fine, let her be for now." Levi butt in, having Armin ease his grasp on you. 
   "God, I shoulda kept a better hold on her..." Jean came into your sight, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. 
Eren and Mikasa joined in the group, observing your state and thankfully blocking the sun from your tired eyes. 
   Eren knelt next to Armin, brows furrowed accompanied with a frown. "Jeez Jean, how far did she fall? The bleeding stopped but..." You felt another hand barely graze your head, and you hiss at the intense pain that erupted at the light touch. Jean grunted uncomfortably, turning from the group. 
    "Did she say anything before she passed out?" Armin asked Jean, holding one of your hands. 
The two-toned haired teen looked back, his expression was odd. "Yeah, she said a lot of things, or well- shouted them." He half-chuckled nervously, "But...I don't know if it's my place to say them though. You'll have to talk to her about it when she recovers." Armin looks back at you, pressing his lips together anxiously. 

They let you rest, and after a while, and when everyone was out of earshot, Jean came back to you and knelt by your side.  
   "You awake (F/N)?"
   "Barely...What's going on?" You ask, putting your arm over your eyes. 
He grins, glad to hear your voice, though it turns into a frown when he starts talking. "You took a pretty hard fall from a building. It's my fault."
   "Oh...so that's why everything hurts." You say, smiling in a way that didn't make Jean feel any better.
   "I know, I'm sorry. Really." He clenched his cloak.
   "Don't worry about it Jeanie boy, I'm sure you'll make it up to me sometime." You say, peeking from under your arm for a moment. 
"While we're talking, I need to ask you something about earlier," He sat down, knowing that you both would probably be talking for a while. 
   "Ask away." 
   "A few hours ago when you had that uh- moment with the serum, ah...you kind of admitted to having feelings for Armin in front of everyone." His eyes looked off at the group, spotting Armin. 
You sighed, removing the arm that covered your eyes. Staring up at Jean, you ask: "Does he know?" 
   "No, he doesn't. At least, I don't think so. To be frank with you (F/N) it's always been a little obvious that you liked him, to me at least." 
   "Oh, so you're mister I know all about love now?" You ask, sighing.
   "It doesn't take a mastermind to figure that out, you've always kinda clung to that dork." He laughs, reminiscing for a moment. 
   "He's not a dork," You object.
   "It's fine, you're both dorks. Perfect for each other, wouldn't cha' say?" His smug grin got an embarrassed smile out of you. 

For a moment it was silent, a peaceful silence that was well needed after all the chaos. Though Jean still had something on his mind. 

   "Can you promise me something (F/N)?" Jean asks unexpectedly. 
You sit up to get on his level. "What is it?"
   "Promise me that you'll tell Armin about this, that you love him. I think he needs to hear it." He looks back at Armin once again, biting the inside of his cheek.
Taken aback, your mouth falls open ever so slightly. Jean has never asked something so serious of you before. It was nice to see this side of him though. And although your mind didn't have the mental capacity to think too much on it, with what has happened it made you realize your feelings from a wider perspective, and what needed to happen. 
   You sigh, rubbing your eyes. Staring up at Jean, you press your lips together tightly until you spoke out. "I promise." 

Now you stare at Armin, alive and well in front of you. Who was now aware of your deep feelings for him. Oh, how much his sacrifice has affected you. How it has affected everyone, good or bad. The extreme measures people took to make Armin feel unworthy of being revived was astounding. And with this you found yourself holding a special dislike for Floch, the boy who brought Erwin back to Levi in hopes of his revival, and also the boy who insisted that Armin wasn't worthy of being alive in place of him. Although you cared and deeply respected your deceased commander, in that intense moment of possibly losing the love of your life, you selfishly acted out. Guilt found itself always beside you, but even then, Levi was right in saying that bringing Erwin back would have been round two for hell. 

You knew that Armin held deep unwavering guilt about the ordeal, and who could blame him? Ever since then you tried to soothe him of his 'mistake', although it wasn't easy considering his low self-esteem. Still, you managed to get in a few good laughs despite all that has happened, and that's what mattered most to you in the end. That you could still be there to see the beautiful blonde-haired boy smile.

   "(F/N)?" Armin asked out, showing some concern. 
   "Oh- What? I'm sorry I just spaced out for a moment," You return to the present, and smile at him reassuringly. 
   "I was just wondering- for curiosity's sake...Jean and Connie told me about something that happened that day, I just wanted to hear it from you. It was something to do with Levi?" He seemed afraid to ask, but you couldn't have been more glad to inform him and hear more about what those two knuckleheads had to say about it. 

   "Oh, it's true, I tried to attack Levi, only out of fear of losing you though. I don't know what those two have said about it, but I actually can't remember much. But I do know that I passed out soon after and that's when I fell off that building." You touch the back of your head.
   "I knew they were exaggerating a bit, but...wow they came up with some wild ideas." He chuckled softly. 
   "What did those bastards say about me?" You ask, wanting more reasons to confront them.
Armin smiled and answered: "They were talking about how they were such heroes in protecting Levi, saying it as if they were shielding a maiden in need. And Connie made this horrible girlish voice, and Levi came in to scold them right after."
You laugh a little too hard and your ribs began to ache. "Is that why they had extra cleaning duties? And they called us the dorks..." You hug your stomach, feeling regret for laughing so much. But as much as it hurt, it also felt cathartic. 

The wind picked up outside, and the curtains gently waved with the breeze. You wanted to tell Armin one last thing that had been on your mind. Now couldn't have been a more perfect time. You both looked stunning to one another, the breeze picking up your hair and gentling framing your face. While the sunlight reflected off of Armin's eyes in a way you couldn't describe, it was akin to something you knew existed but weren't quite aware of yet.

   Grabbing Armin's hands, you fully turn to him, crisscrossing your legs on the couch and say: "Armin, I want you to know how proud of you I am." His expression softened at your statement.
   "I just- I will never be able to fully express it with words, but I'm just so proud of everything you have done for us, for me. I know you will accomplish so many great things that will help humanity in this fight, and I don't want you feeling like a burden." The tears were back again for round two. 
   "You are so much more than what people make you out to be- if they only knew how much you mean to me." Your voice cracked by the end of your sentence, and by this point, Armin was tearing up. "I've been holding back, and I need to make sure that you know how much I love you." You finished.

You both shared a very instinctive moment, leaning in to meet each other's lips after your statement. The kiss was tender and short-lived, with your hand placed on the left of his neck, and his arms wrapped gently around your sore waist.

You wipe your tears from your face and embrace him once more, letting tears soak into his sweater again. You felt his hands tremble as he held you, hearing soft cries into your shoulder. This moment felt greater than anything you've ever accomplished. Finally, you can begin to let loose and express yourself to the one you're most proud of, who you'll love till your last breath, and who you'll cherish forever.

And for once, you felt that Jean was right in something. This was well needed, and you couldn't find any regret with this interaction. It seemed just right, a perfection that only this world would allow. You would appreciate this moment until the end of your days, as they were numbered, and who knew when life would decide to take you from Armin. Now though, at this moment, you were proud of him, and you would continue to openly love and cherish him for all that he is for as long as you can.