Complicated (Saida)

Regret or fresh start

Sana's POV
I don't know how long I've felt like this. I always knew Dahyun was different compared to the rest but when did I start feeling butterflies when we held hands or when she touched me whilst taking group pictures. All I know now is that this feeling won't go away anytime soon.

I suddenly become aware of my surroundings and realise I've been daydreaming in the room full of the other members. We just finished our candy pop tour in Japan and we're currently in Nayeon and Jeongyeong's room drinking champagne gifted by the managers.

I hate to admit I'm a lightweight when it comes to drinking and get tipsy very quickly. Next thing I know a few drinks and the room is looking more and more blurry.

"Sana Unnie I think you've had enough let's go to your room and put you to bed" Of course Dahyun would be the one to realise that I need to go to bed. "Mmmm Dahyunnnnieee. I love youuuuuu" She just laughs as this is standard behaviour from me, drunk or not. She then picks me up and places my arms over her shoulders. "Guys I'm taking Sana to her room before she passes out. Momo unnie what room are you guys in again?" I faintly hear momo telling Dahyun our room number and next thing I know we're outside the door.

Once we're inside Dahyun tries to pull me towards the bed but I pull her back with all my force causing her to bump in to me, our faces literally touching. I can literally taste her breath on me but I know she didn't drink much "Dahyun, tell me why I feel like this?! Why am I going crazy thinking about you all the time? Why does it bother it so much when you are with the other members and not me?"

Now I can slowly feel the alcohol fading away but being replaced with anger and hurt. I look her in the eyes and all I see is confusion which makes me angry and I proceed to push her lightly against her chest. *First push* "Tell me then" she is forced to step back. *Second push* "Why aren't you saying anything" As I push her one last time I also pull her back to me and our lips collide. I know it only lasted 3 seconds before reality kicked but it was the best 3 seconds I ever experienced. "Unnie you're drunk. Please" Dahyun was trying to free herself from my grasp but I was strong. "If I wasn't drunk would you have kissed me back" I see her stutter for a second "I'm sorry". That was when I felt the ache in my heart. "You can leave" She didn't protest and left the room in silence. I stripped off all my clothes and ran in to the shower where I let out all the tears I had left in me. "Why did I just do that" I can't believe I literally just ruined our friendship in the space of a few minutes because I was feeling brave.

Dahyun's POV

I don't actually know how I just moved my legs out of the room after what just happened. Did Sana just admit her feelings for me. I always knew we had a different bond but I didn't want to over think it. But why did the kiss feel so right even though it's wrong. I don't like her like that right? No no I don't like her like that, she's just my friend, my best friend and I'm sure she was just drunk and overwhelmed. I carried on trying to convince myself the walk back to my room but it wasn't really working. "Fuck I think I like Sana"

I was dreading the next day, do I act normal? Do I keep my distance? Shall I ask her what happened? Aaaargh this is so stressful. We all make our way down to the lobby to get ready for breakfast and I can't help but scan everywhere for Sana. "Dahyun are you ok?" Jihyo asks beside me "You're looking extra pale right now" "Yeah I'm fine. Just tired. Where are the rest of the girls?"

I didn't even have to wait for a response as the rest of the members made their way out of the hotel lift and walked towards me and Jihyo. Why am I feeling nervous? I couldn't even get a proper look at Sana before I realised I was getting dragged inside the restaurant by Chaeyong. "Bro wake up and come on let's eat before we get the cold leftovers" I just need to scan Sana's face once to see where we stand and what the situation is. Is she mad I don't feel the same way? Does she remember what she did last night? Will she just ignore what happened and act normal? Or was yesterday the last nail in the coffin for our friendship.

I couldn't even concentrate on what breakfast was out but Chaeyong realised how lost I was and just kept putting food on my plate as we passed each station. I went and sat down at the table and obviously Sana was not there as she was getting her breakfast. I carry on fiddling with my food then finally I can hear her giggling getting closer.

"Shut up Momo, I have such a bad hangover. This headache is killing me" Please look at me. I stare at her waiting for her to look my way but no luck. "Why are you guys laughing" Jihyo asks Sana out of curiosity. Momo tries her best to hold her laugh back "Sana asked for scrambled eggs and then left her plate with the chef. When she finally realised she ran back and tripped right in front of the other guests" Typical Sana always so clumsy, however that put a smile on my face especially after I saw her pouting at Momo. The rest of the group shared a giggle and carried on eating.

Suddenly Sana spoke up "Guys please tell me how I ended up in my bed this morning?"

Wait what?!!

"I can't remember anything after being on Nayeons bed yesterday when I had a few glasses"

She doesn't remember?!?
"Oh wow you really are a lightweight." Jeongyeon stepped in and spoke "Dahyun took you back to your room".
"Awww Dahyunie thank you. Did I do anything stupid?"
Was she teasing me? Did she really forget what she did. Why am I not feeling relieved that she doesn't remember so it won't be weird.

"No problem Unnie. No you didn't" I smile at her feeling a whirlwind of emotions as I sip my my water.