Complicated (Saida)

Moving forward

Sana's POV

I had to lie right? Of course I remember everything that happened last night but I couldn't come to terms with losing Dahyun by making everything awkward. But I do have to keep my distance from her. Having her so close but feeling like we're so far apart is slowly killing me.

"Alright guys remember we are leaving for the airport at 5pm exactly so make sure you are ready in the lobby by then" I hear our manager telling us before we start making way to our rooms.

"Sana unnie wait up" Oh god here comes Dahyun. I turn towards her and can't help but smile at her. "It's only 9am. Did you want to do anything before we have to leave. Shopping" I can see the excitement in her voice. Normally I would never decline to spend time with her but I just can't do it. "Sorry Dahyun I was actually going to say goodbye to my parents before leaving this afternoon"

I didn't even give her a chance to say anything I just walked away and made my way to my room. Truth is I actually said bye to my parents yesterday after the show ended as they came to the last show. I decided to go a park not far from the hotel for some air and got lost in my thoughts for hours.

Sometimes I just daydream about what it would actually feel like to be with Dahyun. How it would feel to have hold me so close that we become one. Or how it would feel to kiss her every chance I had. Is she a gentle lover or a rough one? Woah woah woah ok Sana reign it in. I check the time and see its already 2pm. I make my way back to the hotel and finish up my last bits of packing.

We all make our way to the lobby and I notice there are 2 groups. One of the managers asks me to pick any group as I'm the last one to pick a car to travel in. Group 1 has Nayeon, Jeongyeong, Momo and Jihyo. Group 2 has Dahyun and the rest of the girls. Normally I would run to group 2 to be with Dahyun but I promised myself I have to put myself first and keep my distance. I start walking and notice Dahyun smiling at me and gestures me to come to her group however I make my way to group 1. I notice the smile on her face fade away and honestly that kills me more than not being in her car.

"Oh wow Sana actually came to our group. Now we have the full unnie line" Nayeon teases me. We all make our way to the cars and proceed to leave Japan and back to Korea we go.

We finally all get back home in our dorm and put all our stuff away. "Guys shall we order food. Our usual?" Jihyo shouts from the kitchen. "YES" Everyone screams and I hear her ordering food from our local take away. I'm so tired. Physically and mentally. I noticed Dahyun try to talk to me or make her way towards me but I kept ignoring it or avoided any eye contact. How long will this hurt like this?

The doorbell rings which can only be our food which comes at a perfect time. I manage to just finish off drying my hair and make my way to the living room. I see Dahyun has a space near her which she obviously has left for me as everyone else is sitting down. Also me and Dahyun always share food but I guess things have changed now. I scan the rest of the group and notice Tzuyu has a bit of space near her. I make my way over and failed to notice it is bang opposite Dahyun. Great!

"Oh unnie. Sorry didn't think you would sit here. Dahyun saved you a space there" I feel my face burning as everyone is looking at me and Dahyun. The worst part was Dahyun looked genuinely hurt and that killed. "I've been craving pizza and noticed it was right next to you Tzuyu. I didn't even notice there was a space for me" Do I say sorry to Dahyun? Shall I take my food next to her? I do neither and carry on eating.

"You know we could have moved the food down to that side unnie" Tzuyu says and makes me feel even worse. "Guys it's just a seat. It doesn't matter" I snap back and notice everyone looking confused. There was definitely some tension in the air but everyone carried on watching the tv and eating.

After everyone cleared up and headed to bed I was stopped by a voice calling me. "Sana unnie". Fuck! This girl is making it impossible for me. I turn to her blankly "Yes" She seems surprised at my cold response. "Are you ok? You seem quiet. Did I do anything to upset you?" "I just feel homesick as I saw my parents and had to say bye. Why would you upset me. Anyway I'm going bed. Good night". I notice Dayhun step forward expecting a hug as we ALWAYS give each other a good night and morning hug. It's mainly me being extra needy but nevertheless we never miss our morning and night routine. However I just turn around and walk away and I just know that it hurt her. I wipe my tear and make my way to my bed.

Dahyun's POV

Ouch that hurt. That literally pierced through my heart. She has been weird since this morning and it's definitely not just me being paranoid. But she's right she did just say bye to her parents which is always emotional. Maybe I'm other thinking again.

I toss and turn in bed and can't get Sana's cold response out of my head. Something is definitely bothering her. I take my phone out and message her

D: Are you awake?
D: ???
D: Can I sleep next to you. I feel cold by myself?
D: Ok you're taking too long to reply. I'm coming

I get out the bed and go to the unnie room. I open the door quietly and look towards Sana's bed which is empty. Wait what. Where is she? I quickly scan the room and notice 2 heads in Jihyo unnies bed. Another pierce to my heart. I make my way back to my bed and finally release my tears I've been holding in since everything yesterday. Could I have done anything differently?

Sana's POV

I carry on crying silently in Jihyo's arms after seeing Dayhun come to our room and find me next to Jihyo. I saw her texts and knew I couldn't say no to her if she came to my bed but also I couldn't be that close to her body after everything that happened yesterday. Luckily Jihyo was awake and noticed me crying. I asked if I can sleep with her as I'm really missing my parents. Without hesitating she invited me to her bed and drifted off to sleep. Why won't Dahyun just stop trying with me. It would be so much easier. I just wished she didn't bother anymore. Even though that would kill me I just can't keep feeling guilty anymore.

I guess my wish came true as Dahyun eventually stopped trying with me. Besides being on stage and in front of the camera we had no other forms of communication. Her and momo became extremely close, as much as it made me jealous I knew it was the best thing for me to get over her.