Hogwarts Knows

Harriet had never told anyone about Harry, or Harley. Though, that never stopped them from imagining the shouts from his uncle as 'boy' instead of 'girl' on the days where they weren't. A girl that is. That also never stopped them from thinking that being referred to as 'Freak' was better when they couldn't stand the thought of being a boy or a girl.

The first time Harriet heard the word Genderfluid, they were 9, and the weird stirring in the bottom of their tummy made them giggle uncontrollably before they even knew what the word meant. They had been in the library with Aunt Petunia mere meters away, and they dared not go any farther lest they expect a beating from Uncle Vernon later on.

Genderfluid. They read the word over and over again from the book they hadn't even meant to pick up.

Genderfluid- a gender that varies over time and is constantly changing

The words struck a chord in them that left them stunned, breathless, and if they took the book home after that, hidden in Harriet's jacket, they hoped nobody would miss it.

Avery's Guide to Gender and Sex was Harriet's prized possession, and they read it every night. They'd gasp the same way every time they read about the little boy who had decided to be a girl and longed for the hormone therapy they had read about time and time again. On the bad days, it was their greatest comfort. The letter of affirmation at the end using they/them pronouns made Harriet's heart pound like crazy in their chest, and they wished everyone would just call them Harley, even if they didn't made the effort to switch their name when Harley switched to boy and Harry switched to neither.... it was their greatest wish.

When puberty came around, Harley was sure that they were prepared. They were an early bloomer, and thank whatever higher powers there was that the day blood blossomed in Harriet's underwear was a girl day. It was easier, they thought, to have girl parts on girl days. Then, it wasn't a girl day, and they were not nearly as prepared as they thought. It was a boy day and Harry felt so trapped because everyone was calling him Harriet when he was clearly a boy... but it didn't matter. Nobody else seemed to be able to see that Harry was a boy. He suffered through the cramps and washed the blood from his few pairs of underwear whenever he was working in the garden. His stolen 'feminine products' were a constant reminder, with their flowery wrappings, of what everyone saw him as. The next day, it was over, and Harry found himself thinking that he wished he could just be a boy so that he didn't have to ever go through that again. At least if he were a boy and not genderfluid, he might be able to transition.

School was a blessing and a curse for Harley. It was great to get away from the Dursley's, of course, but the other kids all called them Harriet, something that set their skin alight in unpleasant ways and left them itching at the now often tender spot on their chest.

When their breasts finally started coming in, the first thing Aunt Petunia did was buy them a dress. The woman may not have like the child, but she'd always wanted a little girl to 'doll up'.

On the day Harley went bra shopping, they were Harley, not Harriet, so when Aunt Petunia dragged them into the women's changing room, they felt so wrong. They were intruding in the girl's section when they were not a girl. Thankfully, halfway into bra shopping, Harley switched to Harriet, likely brought on by the feminine environment. She couldn't help but be grateful for that, even if it didn't mean she automatically felt perfectly fine and comfortable in her body.

On some days, Harley or Harry days, the bra would shrink, and even though they didn't quite know how, it didn't matter. On those days, their chest would be completely flat, and it was worth it, even if there were splotches of purple gracing their ribs whenever they went to long without it loosening. They knew that it was binding, like in their book, but they ignored the section on unsafe binding, because it didn't matter. What's a little pain in the face of accomplishing your greatest wish? Nothing, Harley decided.